“Is it Heaven? The light?”
“It is. Just visible enough to torture the damned even more.”
She shifted in her seat, disturbed by my description. “It’s nearly what I’d imagined. I’d have never thought there’d be more creatures than humans and demons.”
“We aren’t alone in the universe. No one is immune from death or the afterlife. I keep telling myself that I didn’t contribute to her death but helped her get a ticket out of Hell, but it doesn’t help. There’s something there, now, between Levi and me, and I … I can’t fix it.”
She leaned forward and met my gaze. “You aren’t supposed to fix it, dear.”
“Aren’t I? Isn’t that what I was sent here to do? Fixing things is literally my purpose, and I can’t help the man I love.”
Agatha sighed. “How frustrating that must be, if that’s how you see it.”
“What do you mean?”
She tapped the counter with the tips of her fingers. “Your father’s due home any minute. You best be finishing that before he’s home. Immortal or not, he clings to decorum.”
I downed the rest of my glass and sat it in the sink. “How else is there to see it?”
“Restoring The Balance. That’s your purpose. You can’t restore something unless it’s broken, old, neglected. You need to let go of that nagging feeling you can change things before. Your job is in the after.”
I nodded.
Agatha winked and nudged me. “Even the Almighty allows free will. Petra made a choice. And, it was a smart one if you ask me.”
“She did. You’re right. I know you’re right.” I exhaled. “So why do I still feel like this?”
“Because your heart is talking, and you’re not listening.”
I winced. “I’m a powerful being. I should know what you mean.”
“Talk to him, ya daft cow.”
I laughed out loud, and then it faded. “I can barely look at him. It’s times like these I wish my human side would have just died with me.”
“And then what? How could you fight for humanity if you can’t understand us? Levi doesn’t blame you. He understands her choice to leave him now to spend eternity with him later.”
“Why would Levi blame her?” Dad said, walking into the front door.
Agatha stood up straight, her expression abruptly professional. “I’ll just be tidying the upstairs.”
“Dad,” I said. I felt that he was on his way, and that he’d arrived, but I was too focused on my conscience to take time to prepare.
He took one whiff and knew what I’d been up to. He hesitated, and I rolled my eyes. “Yes. I had a glass of wine. Proceed with the lecture.”
He sat next to me, crossing his arms over the counter. “I’m not happy about it. I’m also aware you’re technically older than me.”
I smiled.
“I was actually going to ask for a glass,” he said.
I stopped smiling. “You don’t drink.”
“Your mother is with Bex and Allison, and if you’ve been driven to drink, it’s likely a good idea for me.”
“Well then,” I said, standing to find a glass in the cabinet. A discreet popping noise interrupted his next question as I pulled the cork. He waited for the crackling to pass as the effervescence whooshed into the perfect curves of his crystal stemware.
He breathed in the Malbec and then took a sip, silently approving of what he likely thought was my choice. I’d never let him know otherwise. Heavenly being or not, I would always be his little girl.
“I know it’s difficult.”
I stared at my empty glass in the sink, tears streaming down my cheeks. “She arrived to warn Levi. His brothers are still plotting to attack him. Something feels wrong.”
Dad hugged me to him, kissing my hair. “Shhh. You did the right thing. This life is a blip compared to eternity. You saved her from Hell.”
“I could’ve saved her. I should’ve figured out how to do both.”
“Eden,” Dad began. “You’re powerful, but there are rules.”
“I went to see Morgan. I took away his memory of killing me. I healed him from his possession. I’m phasing.”
He let me go. “You’re … phasing.”
I could feel him trying to remain calm, at least on the outside. He was choosing his words carefully, but not as much as his delivery.
“It’s okay, Dad. I know it’s alarming. And you’re also listening and immediately trying to figure out how to explain this to Mom … or not. She’s stronger than you think, you know. And it’s no secret that she won’t stand for you keeping anything from her when it comes to me.”
He squirmed in his seat, knowing I was right. “Hybrids can’t phase.”
“I’m different. I’m—”
“An immortal. Something like Eli?”
I nodded.
He itched his nose and then gulped his wine, pushing his empty glass toward me so I’d fill it again. After downing half his glass, he braced himself. “And how is Levi?”
“He buried Petra in the backyard, under the shade tree. He said she would’ve loved to have sat on the bench and watched the wind slide through the leaves. She liked the simple things.”
“That’s nice,” Dad said with a far-off look.
“I don’t … I don’t know how to comfort him.” My voice broke.
Dad took me in his arms and squeezed. “Eden, comfort is simpler than most people think.”
“I know, but there’s so much guilt. I can feel his anger. The blame. It’s eating me alive from the inside out. I want nothing more than to help him through this, but I can’t go anywhere near him.”
Dad put his thumb under my chin and lifted my face until my gaze met his. “You had to free her from the tag so she could get into Heaven after her sacrifice. It’s a process Levi is familiar with.”
My bottom lip trembled. “Why doesn’t that make me feel better?”
“Why use the blade?”
“I couldn’t send it back to Hell. It might have reported something it heard to Lucifer.”
“You’ll be reprimanded.”
“I’m aware.”
He smiled. “What you did, Eden? It’s the most important gift you could’ve ever given them, do you know that?”
“I should’ve given him more time with her. We should’ve waited. I should’ve tried to think of another way. I don’t know why we rushed it.”
He turned to his drink and took another sip, nodding. “What’s important is being there for him now. I’m thankful I don’t know what it’s like to lose my mother. Levi must feel like an orphan. He feels lost, but you’re his beacon, Eden. It will be difficult, but you’re going to have to go to him. If he needs anyone right now, it’s you. More importantly, you’ve taken Levi from Lucifer and then allowed his wife to go to a place he’ll never be able to touch her again. We all need to be at our strongest right now.”