"He gives me what I want."
"That's a generalization, not a detail."
What am I willing to tell her?
Nothing.
I don't want to share this with her. With anyone.
"He's…" I bite my lip. "We want the same things."
"Which are…"
"None of your business."
She stares at me, waiting for me to break. When I don't, she adopts her game face.
It's Sienna's attempt at boss bitch. And she does look like she's ready for action. But she still looks sweet.
"You both like it rough?" she asks.
"No comment."
"Just admit it."
"Maybe."
"Yes-be."
"Okay. Yes. We both like it rough."
"What kind of rough?" Her eyes light up. "Does he tie you up? Spank you? Call you names?"
"That was one. That's all you get."
She makes a show of pouting. Picks up my iced tea. Moves to the podium in the middle of the room.
This place is as low-key as bridal boutiques get, but it's still decked in powder blue and white lace.
Better than pink and white lace, but still awfully traditional.
Paloma picked it, of course. Because the owner will leave us alone until we need help.
And because it has a selection of gowns that will make me look like a rock star.
"You're holding my tea hostage?" I ask.
"Yep."
"It's not that good." I sit next to her. "I won't tell you."
"What if I get you drunk?"
"Try it if you think it will work."
"That's exactly what he said."
I laugh. "He's smart."
"Well, yeah. If he's marrying you, he's obviously smart."
"Thanks."
"Is it really the sex?" She sips her latte. Shakes my iced tea don't you want it. "I mean, I get it. He's handsome. Rich. Good in bed. And a soccer player. You have to nail that down before it's too late."
"Too late?"
"He's a guy."
"Which means…"
"They get bored. That's what people say." She finishes her last sip. Glares at her empty cup. "And he was sleeping with a lot of women before you two reconnected."
"He was."
"Are you worried he'll miss that?"
"No." I never worry about that.
"Because other women can't give him the things he wants?"
"Because he's loyal."
"And what I said."
"Sure. And what you said."
She squeals as she crosses her legs. She's in her usual tomboy attire—denim shorts, grey tank top, hair in a ponytail—but she still blends into the girly bridal boutique. "Hot, rich, good in bed, soccer player. I approve."
"I appreciate that."
"And given that you two already set a date… we should pick a dress."
"So you can get more coffee?"
"Yeah." She stands. Moves to the second rack. The dresses Paloma pulled just for me. "And it's my duty as your sister to help."
"Is it?"
She nods. "And I… I kind of want to see you in a gown."
"Really?"
"I know. It's weird." She runs her fingers over a silk sheath. "I feel a sudden desire to wear pink." She blushes, embarrassed at embracing any kind of girlishness. "Just try the dress, okay?"
"That one?"
She nods this one.
"Okay. Sure." I stand. Move next to my sister.
"And this one too." She pulls another dress, one with a plunging neckline. "And this." And a third. The most feminine dress Paloma pulled.
A chiffon number fit for a goddess.
I pull her into a tight hug, then I gather the gowns, move into the dressing stall.
The owner knocks. Helps me into the first dress and a pair of silver heels.
I take a deep breath and move into the main room.
"Oh my god." Sienna wipes a tear. "Indie…" She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. Tries to adopt her game face. "You look so bridal."
She moves away from the podium. Watches as I climb the steps. Turn to the mirror.
She's right.
Bright white chiffon with a deep scoop neck, a long skirt, a high thigh slit.
My makeup is a little simple and my hair is a little messy, but, still, I look like a bride.
I blink back a tear.
"You like it?" Sienna's voice is soft. Gentle. Completely unlike her. "I like it. It's sexy. And almost casual. But I want to see the other ones too."
"I do."
"You're ready to get married." She laughs. Looks to the accessories. "Do you think you'll wear a veil?"
"Too old-fashioned."
"A tiara?"
"No. Like this." My eyes go to my reflection. The blunt line of my hair. The silver shadow highlighting my eyes. The wine lipstick. "Do you think it's enough?"
"It's not quite boss babe, but it's pretty."
"And I'm not pretty?"
She waves don't pretend like you're offended. "You're striking. You need more drama. Try the others." She helps me off the podium.
I return to the dressing room. Let the owner help me out of this gown. Into the next.
Ivory silk. Strapless. Straight neckline. Tight bodice. Mermaid skirt.
It's hard walking in the snug skirt, but I manage to make it to the podium.
Sienna looks up at me. "It's nice."
"Nice? That's a word in your vocabulary?"
"I know." She presses her lips together. "But nice feels right. Pretty. Simple. Nice."
She's right. It's a beautiful dress, but it's just nice.
And I don't want nice.
Not in my fiancé, not in my fuck, and not in my things.
I can accept that.
Can Ty?
"Try the next one," Sienna says. "It has the low neckline. It will go over better with your fiancé."
"Is that how we're deciding?"
"You're the one saying you're marrying him for sex."
It's true.
And we make sense there.
It's everything else that's complicated.
I push aside thoughts of love as I change into the next gown, move into the main room, climb the podium.
It hits me the second I catch my reflection.
This is it.
The dress.
I'm marrying Ty in this dress.
"Oh my god." Sienna squeezes my hand. "That's it."
"I think it is."
"Oh my god." She wipes her eyes with her free hand. "Indie… you look… so hot for someone so flat."
A laugh spills from my lips.
"Is that the secret to plunging necklines?" She squeezes my hand. "It must be. You really own them."
"Thanks."
"You look…"
"Not pretty?"
"Better than pretty." She releases my hand. "Stunning."
The gown is perfect. Ivory chiffon with thick straps, a sharp, plunging v, a low back, a flowing skirt.