“Don’t mention it. I’m so happy it’s been a good outcome for Sam here.” She nodded toward Sam.
“I’ll just carry out my last set of observations, then write up the notes for the doctor, when she makes her rounds. She’ll assess his stats and my notes, and decide whether or not to discharge him, but I’m fairly confident on the basis of what I’ve already seen that he’ll be going home in a few hours’ time at the maximum. Then like I said, plenty of time relaxing on the couch reading and playing video games and he should be ready to go back to school on Monday morning.” I nodded.
Beck and I stood mutely to one side, slightly removed from the bed to allow the nurse to do her work. She held the clipboard containing Sam’s notes and vitals as she went through a battery of tests, recording details on the sheet, mumbling numbers to herself every now and again.
A wave of tiredness slipped over me, and I tried to stifle a yawn, but it clearly didn’t escape Beck’s notice.
“You’re exhausted. I’ll go grab you coffee.” I opened my mouth to protest but he shut me down.
“It wasn’t a question. I’ll get you coffee and food. You will eat and drink. Not negotiable.” Well, that told me.
Clearly, once Beck got an idea in his head, that was that. I couldn’t say that I wasn’t secretly relieved to have someone else doing the thinking for me at that point in time.
As though in sync, as Beck pushed his way out of the swinging doors—smiling Sam’s way as he went—Kate walked back in. Upon seeing that Sam was awake, a relieved smile lit up her face.
“Hey buddy, so good to see you with a little color in your cheeks. You sure gave me a scare last night.” Sam beamed back in Kate’s direction. Not only was she my best friend and Sam’s more-or-less, godmother, but she and Sam shared a special bond, which made my heart soar every time I saw them together.
“Hey Katie.” He was also the only person in the world allowed to call her that. “Yeah, I’m good now. I just want to get out of here and get home. Although, that’s going to be boring as shit, too.”
“Sam! Listen little man, I’m not going to let language like that slip just because you’re sick. The normal rules still apply. Nice try, though. You owe me a dollar for the cursing jar when you get home.” He rolled his eyes. Sure, he was mature for his age, but sometimes he was like any other eleven-year-old boy, and I loved that fact.
Beck
As I stepped out into the hall, the enormity of what had just happened suddenly caught up with me, and I was completely overwhelmed. I slumped up against one of the walls, slowly sliding down to sit on the floor, knees bent, elbows on knees, and head in hands. My God, I had never experienced anything as heavy as this. Where I once thought that Mel having left me was the worst thing I would need to deal with in my life, I now found myself yearning for a time when that was all I had to worry about.
A child is game-changing, and to go from being single and carefree to being a father in a matter of hours was as hectic as fuck. I really didn’t know how I was going to deal with this one. As far as curve balls in life went, they didn’t get much curvier than this. A son. A handsome intelligent son.
Not for the first time that day, I was hit with a pang of regret that like me, Sam had grown up without a father. Like me, he would probably have told anybody who dared ask that he didn’t need a father. All he needed was his wonderful mother. And to a large extent it was probably true, just as it had been for me.
But maybe, just like with me, it wasn’t one hundred percent true. It’s hard for a boy growing up not to look at his friends and their fathers and feel like they’re missing out on something because they don’t have what other kids have. I should know. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.
In Sam’s case I had no idea what Mel had told him to explain my absence but whatever it was, I could guarantee that at eleven, Sam already had an idea of the truth. Or at least an inkling that the version of events his mother had told him wasn’t all there was to know.
There had been a time when there was nothing that could happen that would knock me for six, but Mel coming back into my life a few weeks ago, and now the discovery of Sam had changed all that. Now it seemed to be a new surprise every few days. How had my life become such a roller-coaster ride, or a made-for-TV movie?
I wasn’t sure how long I’d stayed that way. I’d just needed some respite, and a quiet moment to myself, away from the glaring eyes even in a café. I wasn’t in anyone’s way, so I decided to take full advantage of the solace. I pulled out my phone, firstly to check the time—fuck it was almost eight a.m.
Breakfast at the retreat was scheduled for eight, so it would very shortly come to everyone’s notice that Mel and I were absent. Together. I fired off a quick text to Nate.
ME: Oh man, you will NEVER guess what went down. Call me before you head to breakfast.
Seconds after I pressed Send, the phone rang in my hand. It was Nate of course. I picked up on the first ring.
“Hey man. Thanks for calling me back.”
“No problem brother. Your timing was great, I’ve just been for a run and was about to walk into breakfast when I saw your message. Where are you?”
“Dude. You really wouldn’t believe what has happened now.”
“I’m sure I would. Why don’t you try me?” Nate. Always confidence personified.
“I have a kid.”
“Oh man, the reception is really bad up here. I think the phone is really breaking up, it sounded like you said you had a kid.” His voice was tinged with laughter at the absurdity of the suggestion.
“I’m in the city, and the reception is just fine. You heard me right, I have a kid. He’s eleven. His name is Sam, and he’s mine and Mel’s. I’m a surprise dad.”
“Oh… Umm…Wow…Shit… Fuck. I don’t even know what to say. You mean, you haven’t known about him all this time?”
“What kind of a question is that? Of course I haven’t known about him. If I’d known, you’d have known. I had no fucking idea. And to be honest, it’s only through sheer chance that I know now. Mel had to rush back to the city because he’d had a bad asthma attack. It was the middle of the night, so I drove her. Even then, she didn’t tell me. When we got to the hospital I think she expected me to just take off, but I followed her in, and heard her say that she had come to visit her son. When she said his name and date of birth, suddenly everything fell into place.”
“Wow. You know it takes a lot to shock me, but dude, this has really done it. I am… like, speechless for probably the first time since I was in grade school. I mean I can’t actually believe this shit. First she ghosts you, then she turns up out of the blue At. Your. Job. Then, as if all that wasn’t, enough she accidentally reveals that you have a son. How are you so calm right now? I’d be ripping shit apart.”
“I don’t know. I mean, I’m not really… I’m just…I guess I’m in shock, and maybe I’m still running on adrenaline. It’s been a wild twelve hours. Before all this went down, Mel and I finally got it together last night, and even though it was inevitable from the moment I stepped out of the elevator and saw her, it still felt monumental. I mean it was monumental. It’s not every day you end up in bed with the long-lost love of your life.”