“What in all hells?”
“It don’t matter,” Cole said and reached his hand out to Ned, hoping Terje would shut his damn face before the situation got even worse.
“Anyone want more popcorn?” Parita asked in a bid to disperse the tension, but it was in vain.
“No, it most definitely fucking matters!” Ned spread his arms, rising from the bench like a lumberjack ready to defend his mother’s honor. “What is this game you think you’re playing?”
“There is no game,” Cole lied, fighting the buzz inside his head. It was as if hornets had made his skull into a nest and were about to sting him dead. “Please, come with me.”
Ned took deep breaths, as if his chest was bellows, but his gaze turned away from Cole, to Terje. “Tell me the truth. Did he set you up to this?”
Terje shrugged, crossing his thick, hairy arms over his chest. “He said you were fair game, but it’s my choice. Unlike him, I know what I want.”
Cole wished to gouge out all the eyes staring at him in accusation. This was not a matter he wanted discussed in public. “And I think it’s pretty clear I changed my mind, yet you can’t take it like a man and chose to mess with me instead,” Cole growled, stepping closer to Terje, whose brows lowered in warning. The tiger-stripes tattooed on his arms transformed him into a wild animal preparing to pounce.
“You’re the one who can’t make up his mind like some schoolgirl musing over two boys.”
Ned scowled. “You’ve got some nerve. I’m not yours to command or share!”
He’d been caught. Ned already knew what occurred behind his back, and clinging to the lie would only make things worse, so Cole let his hands drop and stepped close, wary of Terje, in case the man wanted to throw his fists around. “It’s not like that. Come with me. We’ll talk.”
“No! We’re talking here and now. You were the one to tell me these people are like us, so why the secrecy?” Ned looked around the illuminated faces and grabbed Cole’s nape. “In case anyone was confused, this man is mine.”
Cole’s stomach squeezed, and his hands got damp real fast while the bright area around them spun like a carousel gone off the rails. It felt good. And years ago, he’d have been ecstatic over Ned wanting him so fiercely, but they hadn’t spoken about this, and Cole had told Ned he intended to part ways with him. So what in sweet hell was this? What kind of position was this putting him in?
He pushed Ned away, turning his head left and right to loosen the painful tension where Ned’s warm hand had just rested. “I am no one’s. I told you I’ll leave. I told you everything was temporary.”
Terje gave a bright laugh. “Oh, that’s juicy. A dog in the manger, you are, Cole.”
It took a quick swing to the right, and Cole’s fist smashed into the grinning face. It felt so good to do that after seeing Terje put his hands on Ned, he’d have gladly done it again. “Don’t interfere in our business!”
Terje fell back to his rear, but was too shocked to get up right away. “The fuck’s wrong with you?”
Ned shoved at Cole’s chest, so frustratingly magnificent in that new vest. “‘Temporary’?” Ned mocked. “Eighteen days? Two months? Three? Soon enough, it will be half a year since we’ve gotten back together, and then ten more! You’re not going anywhere, so put that into your thick skull for once!” He poked Cole’s forehead for good measure.
The invasive touch shocked Cole, and he pushed Ned back after very briefly holding onto the new vest.
“You should be happy I didn’t put a bullet in your head when I had the chance! But no. You’re always greedy for more, always pushing me.”
Ned huffed through that big nose of his like a bull about to charge. Cole braced for a hit, but Ned rolled his head until they all heard a crack and turned with his arms spread as if he were auditioning for the job of the ringmaster. “Behold, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the freak show! Here is a man who cannot say the truth for the life of him!”
He pointed at Cole with a scowl, and he might have as well stabbed him with an icicle.
Everyone was so quiet Cole could hear the frantic beating of his heart over the occasional crunch of popcorn being consumed around him as if he were the star attraction of this shit of a show. He grabbed Ned by the collar and shook him as hard as he could. “You’re talking nonsense. I should have left you to die in the damn mountains, but I wanted to get you back on your feet, find you a job, and this is what I’m getting in return? Goddamn you, Ned!”
"But you didn't! You didn't fucking leave me, you didn’t kill me. Instead, you saved my life and nursed me to health because you love me no matter how much you hate me!” Ned squinted, his gaze like two green blades. “And that’s the truth. You want me. You can’t quit me, and you don’t care to. So stop lying to yourself and deal with reality!”
It sounded all too close to the turmoil raging inside Cole, but he couldn’t accept it. He would not, because that would have meant he was hopeless and condemned to living with this painful weight. Ned needed to be cut from his life for good, just like Cole had cut their love carving out of a tree.
“You want the truth? Here it is. It don’t matter to me who sucks my cock. Could be you, but could be anyone else. You’re like an addiction I need to get rid of. Because I can’t live with it. I don’t want you, but as long as we’re close, I won’t have peace. I can’t even trust you with keeping our secrets,” he roared, making a broad gesture to point out all the people listening to this embarrassing exchange.
Ned’s face was red as if it were about to start sweating blood. He opened his mouth but eventually growled like a wild beast and charged.
Cole yelped in surprise when Ned’s head smashed into his chest and knocked him into something warm. Several voices rose in protest, but he was already falling, with Ned on top and the sharp wooden edge of the popcorn cart digging into his flesh. The scent of butter and caramel filled his nostrils as they collapsed, but he ignored it and pulled his nails hard over the first bit of flesh he could touch.
Ned’s nape.
The popped corn crunched under his back like snow on a frosty morning, but when Ned grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him up just to smash him back down, it was time to act.
Cole scratched Ned’s skin all the way to the ear he’d bitten a chunk off in Beaver Springs, and twisted it for maximum pain.
Ned roared and tried to pull away like a bear agitated by fire, but Cole wasn’t letting go.
“That’s how it feels. Do you understand me? Every time I see your face, I remember what you did,” Cole growled, staring straight at Ned. “I’m through with you. I offered you help, but you want all of me, and you won’t get that. No one will!”
He shoved Ned off and rolled to his hands and knees, staring at the scattered popcorn in a daze that made his head spin.
Ned held on to his ear, panting as people looked on, but no one was willing to intervene. Cole’s lungs pumped the overheated air, but as he crawled, itching to get away, his gaze passed over the packet of developed photographs, which must have fallen out of his coat. The paper had ripped, and several pictures had been scattered over the sticky popcorn.