After the movie ended, we all retreated to the kitchen. Alyssa sank into one of the chairs at the table and kicked her feet up. Her body language made it clear she wasn’t anywhere near ready to leave. I was sure she had her heart set on staying right here, hoping to make her way into Jace’s bedroom tonight. That drove me insane.
Colton wrapped his arm around me and whispered in my ear, “Want to get out of here? Take a ride? Maybe find a place?”
That was my cue. As hard as it would be to hurt him, I had to do the right thing.
“Can we take a walk outside?” I asked, my throat feeling parched.
He frowned, clearly sensing something in my tone. “Sure.”
Colton followed me out to the front of the house. It was quiet on our street, aside from the sound of crickets chirping.
“What’s the matter?” he asked. “You seem like something’s bothering you.”
Looking down at my feet, I said, “Colton…I’m really sorry. I know you’ve wanted us to be alone and take that next step, but I’m just not there. And…I don’t think I ever will be.” I looked back up at him. “This just isn’t working out.”
He looked at me strangely. “I’m sorry…did I miss something? You brought me here to meet your brother because we were getting more serious. We have a great day, everyone seems to be getting along, we watch a movie, and at some point during that time, you decide you don’t want to be with me anymore? Am I understanding that correctly?”
“I know it seems sudden, but I’ve been struggling for a while.” Don’t say it. “It’s not you…it’s me.”
Ugh. I said it.
I should be shot for that.
He bent his head back and looked at the sky. “Just fucking great. Feed me that damn line on top of everything? You should’ve just told me to get out and slammed the door in my face. That would’ve been less painful.”
Despite his belligerent tone, I felt bad for him. I deserved the attitude because I had misled him. “I’m so sorry, Colton. I really am. You’re a wonderful guy, and you deserve the world. That’s why I don’t want to waste any more of your precious time.”
He let out a long breath before looking me in the eyes. “You sure about this?”
Feeling terrible, I simply nodded.
It took him several seconds to process that. “Well…take care of yourself, I guess. Not sure what else to say.”
“You too.”
I stood on the sidewalk as he got into his car. A horrible feeling developed in the pit of my stomach as I second-guessed myself for a moment. Had I just made a mistake? He was such a stand-up guy. I shook my head, reminding myself that I needed to follow my intuition—and my heart. They were telling me to move on, and that I needed to talk to Jace tonight. Urgently.
When I returned to the kitchen, everyone turned to me. Jace’s stare was particularly penetrating.
“What happened to Colton?” Nathan asked.
“He…went home.”
My brother looked confused. “I assumed you were leaving with him.”
“No, uh, he had to get some stuff done.”
It didn’t seem like the right moment to drop the bomb that I’d dumped the sweet guy they’d all met today. There was no explanation that would have made sense to them.
Alyssa put her arm around Jace, and I cringed. His eyes were still boring into mine, though. I turned and got a glass of water, busying myself in the kitchen, and after a moment, Alyssa got up to use the bathroom.
Relief washed over me. It felt like my one chance to communicate with Jace.
Once she was fully out of sight, I turned to him and mouthed, Please.
He swallowed hard.
I didn’t know what my request meant, wasn’t sure exactly what I was begging him for.
Please…put me out of my misery?
Please…don’t take her back to your room tonight?
Please…let’s just go somewhere?
It wasn’t like Jace could ask me what the hell I meant, either.
Nathan stood and took Crystal into the living room. Now it was just Jace and me. I was about to say something more when Alyssa came out of the bathroom.
To my surprise, Jace suddenly stood. “I need to drive you home.”
Alyssa seemed caught off guard. “Oh…you have somewhere to be?”
“I have an early morning tomorrow.”
I didn’t know where any of this was going until he turned to me. “You said you needed a ride to Kellianne’s, right?”
Holy shit. “Uh…yeah. My car shit the bed again.”
His eyes were piercing. “I can take you.”
My heart beat rapidly as I nodded. “Okay…thank you.”
Alyssa rolled her eyes. “Your car never seems to be running.”
Jace went to the living room. “Nice meeting you, Crystal,” I heard him say.
“Where are you going?” Nathan asked.
“Driving Alyssa home and dropping Farrah off at Kellianne’s.”
“You’re going to Kellianne’s this late?” he called to me.
“She’s…going through some stuff. She just wants some company.”
He seemed to buy it. “Oh…okay.” Nathan was so into Crystal, I probably could have started a fire in the kitchen tonight and he wouldn’t have noticed.
“Really nice meeting you, Crystal,” I said.
“You too, Farrah. Maybe we can grab coffee sometime.”
“I’d love that.” I smiled and gave Nathan a discreet wink to show my approval.
Goose bumps peppered my skin as I followed Jace and Alyssa out to his truck. She climbed into the passenger seat next to him while I had no choice but to sit in the back. But I told myself to be patient. As soon as he dropped her off, I would have him all to myself. My body buzzed with excitement and nerves. I couldn’t believe he’d taken me up on my vague Please. He’d translated what I’d asked for: alone time with him.
The ride was silent and uncomfortable. I could practically feel Alyssa’s disdain seeping through the back of her seat. Jace turned on the radio, maybe to drown out the quiet.
“Are you dropping her off first?” she finally asked him.
“No. It makes sense to drop you off first.”
When we got to her house, Alyssa turned to him after she let herself out. “Call me soon?”
“Yep,” he said noncommittally.
She leaned her head toward the backseat. “Have a good night, Farrah.”
“You too.”
As a courtesy, I waited for her to enter the house before getting out of the backseat and moving to the passenger side. As I sank into the leather, I felt more relaxed than I had all night. Being next to Jace again felt like home.
He wouldn’t look at me as we drove off.
“Where are we going?” I asked after a couple of minutes of tense silence.
He laughed almost angrily. “Beats the fuck out of me.”
“Thank you for making time for me. I know my message was vague.”
His eyes darted toward me. “I knew what you wanted.”
That gave me chills.
My eyes fixed on his hands gripping the steering wheel.
“What happened with you and Colton tonight?” he asked.