“Hey, Pumpkin.”
There’s a creak on the stairs, and we all look up as Mike descends them.
“Hey, Dad. How’s it going?”
Mike and Lincoln hug, thumping each other on the back. “Can’t complain.” He ruffles Gray’s hair and tweaks Gemma in the cheek. “How are my two favorite grandchildren?”
“They’re your only grandchildren,” Laura snorts.
“You shush.”
Gemma hugs her grandfather’s waist, her cheek smashed against his stomach. “I’m good. How are you, Grandpa?”
“Just peachy, bug.”
Instead of hugging Mike, Gray lifts his hand for a shake, trying his best to act like a man. “Hey, Grandpa.”
Mike chuckles, grips Gray’s outstretched hand, and yanks him forward. “You know we hug in this family, boy. None of this handshake business.”
Gray grins as he wraps his arms around Mike’s waist.
“Much better,” Mike grunts.
The smile falls from Mike’s face when he faces me. I don’t wait for the invitation before I’m hugging him too. His embrace is tight and lasts for a bit longer than usual.
Thirty minutes later, we settle around the table, the delightful smells wafting around the room making my stomach grumble.
“Sounds like someone came with an empty stomach,” Mike remarks with a chuckle at hearing the sound.
“I did. Laura’s dishes are always delicious. I wanted to make sure I had plenty of room.” I pat my stomach.
“It’s a good thing too.” Laura lifts the lid to a big pot. “Because I made enough to feed an army. I’m sending the leftovers home with you since I know it’s your favorite.”
The instant we all see the deliciousness of Laura’s chili, my stomach isn’t the only one grumbling.
We all laugh when Gemma’s makes a noise resembling the one mine made a moment ago. Chili isn’t only my favorite, but also Gemma’s. She’s the first to hold her bowl out. The girl is greedy when it comes to Grandma’s chili.
“Looks like we know what we’re having for lunch and dinner tomorrow,” I tell Gemma as I fill her bowl.
“And breakfast too.”
Chuckling, Lincoln ruffles her hair. “I highly doubt your stomach could handle having chili for four meals in a row.”
“I bet it could,” Gemma argues, already scooping up a bite. “My stomach loves chili.”
“But I bet your butt doesn’t.”
“Lincoln Graham Bradshaw,” I admonish, choking on the bite I just took. Everyone else laughs.
Gray shrugs, but his eyes dance with mirth. “What? It’s true. Remember the last time we brought home leftover chili?”
As if his words conjured up an unpleasant memory, Gemma’s brows pucker. “Maybe I’ll only have chili for lunch tomorrow.”
The words are mumbled with remorse, but it doesn’t stop her from scooping up another bite and shoving the spoon in her mouth.
“So, Molly. Mike and I were talking earlier today. We were thinking about taking a trip out to Ponduke Lake next week. Mike’s been itching to fish lately. You mind if the kids tag along with us?”
I glance at Lincoln to see how he feels, and he shrugs. I don’t want to give up a minute of time with the kids, but I know I can’t keep them all to myself. Besides, after seeing the hopeful look on both of their faces when their moods have been down lately, I can’t bear to deny them.
“Sure.”
“Woo-hoo!” Gemma yells around a mouthful of chili.
“We’ll come by that morning to grab them and have them home before dinner.”
“Sounds good. I’ll make sure to pack plenty of sunscreen and their bathing suits.”
We spend the rest of the meal talking about nothing too important. My illness is never brought up, something I’m grateful for. Not only because the kids are present and the last thing they need is a reminder, but because it allows me a short amount of time to forget.
Once we’re finished, Laura and I clean the kitchen while Lincoln and Mike go to the living room with the kids. I’m at the sink, rinsing the bowls to put in the dishwasher, when a hand settles on my arm stopping me. I drop the sponge and turn to Laura. Her eyes bounce back and forth between mine.
“How are you doing?” She keeps her tone quiet.
I close my eyes and blow out a slow breath. “Barely hanging on to be honest. Lincoln tells me to live in the moment and to not let this illness ruin the future I have left. But how am I supposed to do that?” I cross my arms over my chest and lean a hip against the counter as I stare at the closed door where Lincoln and the kids are on the other side. “How am I supposed to be okay, knowing I’m going to leave them? I’m not worried about myself and what this disease will do to my body and mind. All I can think about is what it will do to them watching me go through it. It’s going to devastate them. The kids are resilient, so there will come a time when they’ll bounce back from this.” I turn my gaze back to Laura, letting her see the unsurmountable amount of fear I feel. “But Lincoln—” I continue on a broken whisper. “I don’t think he ever will.”
“Oh, honey.”
She envelopes me in her warm and comforting embrace. I try to hold them back, but it’s no use. My tears fall anyway. It feels like all I do lately is cry. I’m tired of crying.
After several moments, in which I soak up Laura’s affection, she pulls back. Grabbing my cheeks, she forces me to look at her.
“My Lincoln is the strongest man I know, even more so than his father. He’s going to be devastated and broken when he loses you. I’ve never known a man and woman to love the other as strongly as you and my son. You two were made for each other in the purest way. No, I don’t think Lincoln will ever get over losing you, but I do believe he will eventually learn how to cope.” Her fingers swipe away the tears steadily sliding down my cheeks. “Do you want to know why I believe that?”
“Why?” I croak.
“Because he loves those kids in there.” She pointedly looks at the door over my shoulder. “He’d never give up on them. He may struggle for a while, and that’s where me, Mike, and your parents will come in to help.”
“I want him to be happy after I’m gone. I don’t expect that to happen for a long while, but I want him to find happiness again with someone else. I don’t want him to be left here all alone. Eventually, he’s going to need that closeness only a woman can give him.”
The thought of Lincoln with another woman is heartbreaking, but it hurts more to think about him being alone for the rest of his life.
Laura’s smile is sad as she slowly shakes her head. “That’s something you’re going to have to come to grips with, Molly. As his mother, Lincoln’s happiness will always come first. If I thought he could ever find that with another woman long after you were gone, I’d want the same as you. But I know that will never be in his future. The only woman who could make him happy is you. I genuinely believe there is no other.”
I can’t help the flutter in my stomach at her words. Yes, I may want Lincoln to find companionship again, but it also warms my heart knowing how strong our love is.