“I know it’s dumb of me to ask this, given you’re his mother, but I’m going to anyway. Look after him for me?”
“Always. And I know you’ll look after him too, from Heaven.”
We hug once more before finishing with the dishes. Entering the living room a few minutes later, we find Lincoln down on the floor with Gemma and Pumpkin. Mike and Gray are absent.
“Where’s Gray and Dad?” I ask, dropping down on the floor beside Gemma.
“Out front. Gray roped him into kicking the soccer ball around,” Lincoln answers.
“Oh, Lordy. Let me go check and make sure Mike hasn’t broken a hip,” Laura says with a laugh as she heads to the front door.
Lincoln rolls until he’s facing me with his head propped up on his hand. “You okay?” he asks quietly, noticing my splotchy face.
I smile and lower my head for a quick kiss. “Yeah.”
He assesses me for a moment longer before he moves again. He gets behind me with his legs surrounding me. I lean back, and his chin drops to my shoulders. We both watch as Gemma rolls around, playing with Pumpkin.
Chapter Fifteen
LINCOLN
I walk into the living room, expecting to find Molly snuggled up on the couch with one of the journals from the attic. She’s been reading them more and more lately. Every night she catches me up on what she read that day. It’s become part of our nightly ritual.
She isn’t on the couch, but one of the journals is flipped open on the coffee table, like she just got up. Figuring she’s probably in the bathroom, I take a seat and pick up the journal. Her personal journal is on the table too, but I leave that one be. I wouldn’t dare encroach on her private thoughts.
There’s a loose piece of paper marking where Molly left off, and I open it to that spot.
Jack walked in on me today while I was changing from my day dress to my evening dress. I didn’t even know it until I heard a sharp inhale and turned around to see him standing in my doorway. I have no idea how long he was there. A big part of me was mortified for him to only see me in my corset and pantalets. But no matter how embarrassing it was, I couldn’t help the thrill that passed through me. Did my body please him? Did he want to see more? Many girls my age are already married and having intercourse with their husbands. I’ve never been curious about the seemingly repulsive act before. But ever since Jack entered my life, the seed of curiosity has sprouted.
I don’t know how long we stood there staring at each other. Me with my arms over my breasts and Jack with his intense gray eyes watching me. Before he cleared his throat and practically ran away, the expression in Jack’s eyes changed. It looked like he was a starving man with a feast in front of him. I’ve noticed the look on his face a lot over the year he’s been employed by my father. I really like that look on his face. Because I know I put it there.
I flip the page and start the next entry.
I think I’m in love. No, that’s not right. I know I’m in love. And it’s with one of my father’s grounds men. Jack kissed me today, and it was the single best thing that ever happened to me. His lips were so soft, but also demanding. We were in the garden, surrounded by the dahlias that Jack’s worked so hard at taking care of. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect place for our first kiss. And I certainly wouldn’t have wanted it with anyone else. I don’t know what it is about Jack, but I feel like he’s meant to be in my life. Not only be in my life but be a big part of it. I wish the kiss would have lasted longer. I could have stayed out there all day kissing him. But my father called for me. Despite the fountain hiding us, we both jumped back at hearing my father’s voice. I know my eyes were wide with what happened, but Jack’s were wary, like he was afraid I’d slap him or even worse, call for my father. I didn’t get the chance to tell him that kiss was the most magical thing I’ve ever experienced. With one last look to where my father was on the other side of the fountain, he spun on his heel and left. I understand his worry. If my father ever finds out what happened between us, I’m not sure what he would do, but I do know it wouldn’t be good.
I close the journal, making sure to slip the piece of paper in the same spot Molly had it. I think about what I just read and don’t have to guess what must have gone through Jack’s mind when he walked in on Anna undressing, and again during their first kiss. From my own experience with seeing Molly naked for the first time, I was gobsmacked, and my body damn near had a mind of its own. It took every ounce of self-control I possessed to hold still and not pounce on her. Her body was breathtaking, a haven I wanted to fall to my knees and worship. And our first kiss that night many years ago in her backyard as we gazed at the stars was one of the best nights of my life. It was the night she agreed to be mine.
I can’t imagine Jack felt much different than I did when he saw Anna with only her underclothes on. From her description of his eyes, I’m sure he was waging an internal battle, wanting to go to her and touch her flesh.
The sudden need to find my wife and kiss her has me setting the journal back down and getting up from the couch. Gray and Andrea are in the kitchen, so I decide to look there first. Knowing Molly, she’s probably in there whipping up some snacks for them. Sure enough, when I push open the door, I find the kids at the table with Molly standing at the counter.
I ruffle Gray’s hair when I walk by him and slide up behind Molly. With the kids present, I keep my snuggling to a minimum.
“I knew I’d catch you in here.”
She giggles when my beard scratches her neck. Over her shoulder, I watch as she cuts two sandwiches in half.
“I figured the kids would enjoy a snack. Banana and mayo sandwiches have always been their favorites.”
I frown. Banana and mayo sandwiches are Gray and Gemma’s favorites, but I’m pretty sure Andrea’s allergic to the fruit.
My stomach hollows as Molly turns her head and presses a kiss against my cheek. Grabbing the two plates holding the sandwiches, she turns away from me. I snap out of my thoughts and spin around to take them from her before she can offer one to Andrea when Molly all of a sudden stops. Her brows wrinkle as her eyes slide from Andrea to Gray, then back to Andrea.
“Who’s this?” she asks the room before bringing her eyes to me. “And where’s Gemma?”
I tense, and a stabbing pain hits my stomach. Closing my eyes for a moment, I inhale a calming breath, but it doesn’t quell the ache in my heart.
What’s even more devastating is the look on Gray’s face as he looks at his mother. Gray has always understood things a child his age shouldn’t. Although we’ve explained to the kids a few symptoms Molly will go through with this illness, we only briefly skimmed over the possibility of memory loss and forgetfulness. Instinctively, Gray seems to know that’s what this is. Even so, there’s no masking the pain of watching it firsthand. It’s been a month since we’ve gotten her diagnosis, and each of these instances hurts worse than the one before.
“Mom?” he calls, his voice sounding like a three-year-old child.
“It’s okay, Gray. Go back to what you were doing with Andrea.”
He’s on the edge of his seat, ready to go to his mother, needing the comfort a boy his age in this situation needs. At the last minute, his eyes leave Molly, and he looks at me. After a nod, he turns back to the table. I want nothing more than to go to him and wrap him in my arms; to tell him everything will be okay, but I need to take care of Molly first. She’s still looking at Andrea like she’s a stranger.