Stupid, treacherous body.
I tell myself it’s because I’ve never had a man’s attention on me before and maybe that’s it, or maybe it’s something else. Something I don’t want to admit to. The power he has over me is terrifying. It entices me. He hasn’t tried to touch me since the shower, but I know he wants to.
His gaze lingers a little longer than it should, and yeah, he might be good at hiding his emotions, but he isn’t that good. The way he looks at me is how I imagine a starving man looks at a steak. Like he could devour it, consume it all in one single bite.
That single thought gets the wheel in my head spinning. What if I use his obsession with me against him? He wants me, deep down, I can see it, and feel it, so what if I try to seduce him? Maybe that’s how…
“Do you want to watch a movie with me?”
A high-pitched squeal leaves my lips, and I jump about a foot off the chair. My movements cause the book in my lap to fall to the floor. “Jesus!” I press a hand to my chest to stop my heart from lurching out of it. “Maybe make some noise before you appear out of thin air.”
Zane smirks, showing off two dimples. I feel my insides warming already. My hormones are out of control. He’s so handsome it hurts. His body’s cut from stone, his features dangerous, but alluring. If I’d seen him on the street, I wouldn’t just find him attractive. I’d find him salivating.
“You need to become more aware of your surroundings. I’ve been standing here for five minutes now, just staring at you.”
It makes sense now, how easily he watched me. He’s like a ghost, or ninja, or both. And apparently, I need to pay better attention. Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t be here right now.
“So, is that a yes or no?”
“Uhhh.” My face heats to the temperature of the sun. “Yes, sure.” I’ve been doing anything and everything I can to keep the distance between us.
Maybe now is the time to try and implement my plan. I don’t know the first thing when it comes to seducing a man, but all I can do is try. It’s my only hope. Plus, Zane knows how inexperienced I am. It’s not like he’ll be able to notice something is up.
Like a lost puppy, I follow him out and into the living room. I plop on the couch, letting the soft cushion and oversized pillows swallow me. Watching him put on the movie, I try to come up with a plan while also trying not to look too nervous.
By the time the movie starts, and he’s settled onto the couch next to me, I’ve come up with nothing. My anxiety builds, stacking up like Jenga blocks. One misstep and everything could come crashing down.
“Are you okay?” Zane turns, asking me in that deep gravelly voice that reaches inside of me and refuses to let go.
I nod, afraid of what might come out of my mouth if I open it. Zane gives me a half-smile and directs his attention back to the TV.
I watch him out of the corner of my eye. He looks like he’s watching the movie, but he’s not. He’s watching me too.
I can sense it. Feel it.
There’s this fluttery feeling in my chest. Like a butterfly is tirelessly beating its wings, trying to escape.
Just do it. Make the first move. It’s your only way out…
Inching closer to Zane, I wonder if he can sense how nervous I am? Gah, what am I thinking? Of course, he can. Like he said, he knows me better than I know myself, which is scary as hell, by the way.
Forcing myself to keep moving, I inch closer and closer. If I stop now, I won’t move anymore, so I have to keep going. Push through the fear. Scooting closer to him, I try and keep my movements subtle, but it’s a lot harder than you would think.
Ignoring the heat in my cheeks and the tension in my muscles, I keep moving until we’re so close I can feel his body heat radiating into my side. Zane is huge compared to me, his body dwarfing mine, and as I attempt to cuddle into his side, I become more aware of this.
I don’t know why this is so hard for me. He holds me every night, this shouldn’t be any different, but it is. It’s a whole lot different because he doesn’t give me a choice at night. He just pulls me into his chest and holds me, whether I want to or not.
This, however, is one-hundred percent my choice. I’m initiating this. Diving head-first into dark waters. It’s sink or swim time.
Trying to calm my erratic heartbeat and breathing, so Zane doesn’t catch on to me, I focus on the movie and ignore the wall of muscle beside me. The tension slowly eases out of me, and I lean further into Zane until my head is resting against his arm.
I wait to see if he pulls away or even objects, but his body stays glued to mine. He’s probably enjoying the nearness of my body, that I’m making an effort to be close to him all on my own. As the movie plays, I find my eyes gravitating toward the apex of his thighs.
Should I do it now? Would grabbing his penis be too on point? I don’t want to come across as desperate, but honestly, I am, so does it really matter? Patience isn’t really my strong point, and being here has made me even antsier.
“Are you even watching the movie?” Zane asks, catching me off guard.
“Uhh…”
“You didn’t have to watch it with me just so I would hold you. Movie or not, I have no problem being close to you.” I hate the way his words make me feel. Like I’m precious, a gift.
Instantly, I feel bad about deceiving him like this. He might be sick and fucked up in his head, but he really has been trying to make me feel safe and comfortable, and in a lot of ways, he has. I’ve never felt safer, not since Will. Zane gives me comfort, he protects me, and I know even without asking, he’s done things for me. Things I could never picture.
“Oh, okay,” I murmur. “I still want to watch the movie,” I say, even though I haven’t actually paid any attention to it.
Zane lifts his arm and motions for me to come closer. I take the invitation and cuddle into his side. He lowers his arm and drapes it over my shoulders, engulfing me in his warmth. It feels nice. Right. Like I was meant to be here.
The movie plays until the end, but I couldn’t really concentrate on it. I’m in too much of an argument with myself in my head, giving myself a headache.
“Ready to go to bed?” Zane asks, turning off the TV with the remote.
“Yeah, sure…” We untangle ourselves from each other and the couch. Walking together into the bedroom, my heart is going a million miles per hour. I can do this.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem tense.”
“I’m fine,” I say. It probably sounds as unconvincing as I feel.
Once in the bedroom, I grab my pajamas and get changed in the bathroom. I purposely leave the top buttons undone, showing off a bit more skin than I usually would.
When I get back, Zane is already sprawled out on the bed. The blanket is covering his lower half, his upper body bare. His muscular chest is on full display. My mouth starts watering, and my core tightens.
Zane raises an eyebrow when he sees me trying to walk sexy as I make my way to the bed, but he doesn’t say anything. I crawl under the blanket next to him, and instead of taking our normal spooning position, I turn to face him. Draping my arm over his middle, I use his chest as a pillow.
Like this, I can hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and I wonder how much faster mine is beating right now. Zane reaches over to his nightstand and switches off the light, blanketing the room in darkness.