“Safe for me? I don’t give a shit about my safety. The only parent I ever had is in the hospital dying, and I need to be there! Right now!” Please let him see how important this is to me because if he doesn’t… if he doesn’t take me to her. “Zane, if she dies and I’m not there, I will never forgive you.”
He suddenly jumps up from the bed, his large body looming over me. “You think I don’t know that! You might hate me forever, but at least you’ll be alive! At least I won’t have to worry that someone took you from me!”
“I don’t care about me,” I yell back at him, my face flush. I don’t care what happens to me, so long as I get to see Donna before she dies.
“I know that too, but I care. I care. Do you still not get it? You’re everything to me. If something happened to you, I’d kill myself. You are the only person that matters to me, and if you die, I die with you.”
Tears fill my eyes, and my lungs burn. “Zane, I have to see her. I know that I’m the most important person to you, but Donna is important to me, and she’s dying right now. I need to be there with her. I need to say goodbye.”
His jaw turns to steel, and he lets out a growl that’s more animal than human. “Fuck, Dove, if something happens to you. They’re looking for you. For both of us. I can’t protect you out there. I can’t make sure nothing happens to you out there.” For the first time ever, I see panic fill his eyes. I see fear, real fear, and it sinks in just how much I mean to him.
I thought it was just an obsession, but it’s clear it’s more, deeper.
“You have to let me do this. I know you’re scared. I am too, and I don’t even know who it is that’s trying to hurt me, but I’d rather die than not be there when she takes her last breath. Please, Zane. Please do this for me. I won’t fight you anymore. I won’t try to escape, just, please… Please, give me this last moment with her.”
Zane looks like a statue, his entire body is rigid, every muscle clenched. Terror is all I see when I look at him. A man terrified of what may happen. If he lets me go, and if he doesn’t.
Like lightning striking, he snaps out of it. “We will go, but you will remain by my side the entire time. You will not go anywhere without me. If anything happens, we will leave and come back here. I will not risk your life. If it’s not safe, we won’t go inside.”
He’s barely finished laying down the ground rules, and I’m off the bed, running into the closet to get some clothes. I’m dressed in seconds and walk back out into the bedroom to find Zane standing in the same spot. He looks to be lost in thought, and my heart sinks into my stomach. Has he changed his mind?
When he sees me, his gaze flicks over my dressed form. “Ready to go?”
“Yes, are you?”
Crossing the space separating us, he takes my cheeks into his hands and leans down, so his lips are a centimeter away from my own. “I’m ready, but I’ve never been more scared of something happening to you than I am right now.”
“Nothing will happen,” I assure him even though I don’t know anything about who is after us, or why they would want to hurt us.
“You’re so naive and so good. I wouldn’t expect you to understand how dangerous this is. I just want you to know that if something happens to you, anything at all, I will blame myself forever, and I’ll gladly put a bullet between my own eyes. You’re my world, and if you’re not in it, then there is nothing left for me to live for.”
I feel each word slicing through my skin and piercing my heart. This man is consuming me, and while I know I shouldn’t feel a single thing for him, my emotions are twisting, becoming more confusing with each day I’m here. I shouldn’t want Zane, but a part of me is drawn to him, to his darkness.
“Everything is going to be okay,” I say before gently pressing my lips to his. I don’t know what is going to happen. What I do know is that I have to get to Donna before it’s too late.
The sunlight feels good against my skin after not seeing it for a while. I won’t lie, I hate the reason we are leaving, but I’m happy to get some fresh air and leave the confines of that place. As it turns out, we are in the middle of nowhere, miles from the city, so even if I had escaped, it wouldn’t have mattered much. The entire drive Zane white knuckles the steering wheel, his eyes darting between the rearview mirror and the windshield like someone is going to appear there.
I’m tempted to force him to tell me who is after us, and what all is going on, but I need to focus on the most important thing right now. Donna had a stroke, the one and only person to ever care for me is most likely dying, and there isn’t shit I can do about it.
Guilt clings to me as we get closer to the city. Maybe I should’ve spent more time with her, maybe I should’ve tried to get her into an even better nursing home, maybe something closer. The thoughts swirl like water running down a drain.
“Everything is going to be okay. I will always protect you… love you,” Zane says, breaking the silence. It’s like he knows how much I need someone to lean on.
Like he can feel the despair pumping through my veins. His words don’t change what’s happening right now though, and they don’t make the loss of Donna any easier, but they do make me feel less alone.
“My heart hurts. It feels like I’m losing a piece of my soul.” I swallow around the lump of emotions in my throat. “Donna was the only person to ever care for me. She adopted me when all hope was lost. When I was sure, I would forever be stuck in the system. Someone as sweet and caring as she doesn’t deserve to die, especially from a stroke.” I don’t know why I’m telling him this, it’s not like he doesn’t already know everything about Donna and me.
Zane’s hand comes to rest on my thigh, his touch makes my insides tingle.
“Donna doesn’t deserve this, no, but we don’t get to choose how someone dies.”
I turn to him. “Says the one who kills people.”
He gives me a sly grin, and my entire body warms all over. “Touché.”
We arrive at the hospital a few minutes later, pulling into the emergency room parking lot. Zane parks, but before I can get out, he shakes his head, ordering me to stay put for a second. We’re so close, and all I want to do is go inside and see Donna. Walking around the car, he opens my door and helps me out. His fingers interlock with mine as we walk across the sidewalk and into the hospital. With each step I take, the sicker I feel. Part of me wants to scream and yell and ask why the hell this is happening, and the other part just wants to break down and cry.
I remember Zane’s instructions as we reach the round circular desk, where the receptionist is. Don’t talk to anyone. Keep your eyes down. Don’t draw attention. Staring down at our joined hands like they’re the most majestic thing I’ve ever seen, I let Zane do all the talking while pretending like I’m not interested in the conversation.
“She’s in the ICU. I’ll send you down there, and one of the nurses will meet with you,” the receptionist says. I don’t even bother commenting on the fact that she’s checking Zane out, drool basically dribbling down her chin. Jealousy has no place in my heart right now.