“No. No. No!” she wails. She falls forward and crashes into me. She rests her palms and forehead on my chest, shaking her head from side to side repeating “No” over and over.
It isn’t until a little voice says, “Mommy,” that I realize he was a father. Mrs. Hunter really loses it when she looks down at her daughter. She drops down to her knees and envelops the little girl in her arms and cries harder. Seeing this causes a lump to form in the back of my throat when it really hits me: I didn’t save this little girl’s dad. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Lifting my hand, I squeeze the back of my neck and look down at this woman and her daughter. My heart breaks for them both, it aches in a way I’ve never felt before. Reaching out, I rub Mrs. Hunter’s back as she continues to cry, holding her little girl tightly to her chest. She’s sobbing uncontrollably but at the same time, whispering to her daughter.
The little girl pulls away from her mom and looks up at me; her eyes red and filled with tears. “Why didn’t you save my daddy?”
Wow, this little girl just gutted it me further with her words. I didn’t think I could feel any shittier than I already do but this lil’ one just knocked me on my ass once again. Dropping to my knees, I look her in the eyes. “I’m sorry sweetheart, I did everything I could to save your daddy.”
She looks over to her mother, her bottom lip quivering and the tears in her eyes spilling down her little cheeks. “Daddy’s not coming home,” she tearfully cries.
“No, honey, he’s not,” Mrs. Hunter replies softly.
Reaching out, I take her hand and squeeze. “I know it'll be hard to never see or hug your daddy again, but he’s in heaven now. You’ve now got your very own angel. He will look over you, protect you, and love you forever and ever.”
The little girl looks to her mom. “Is that true, Mommy? Is Daddy an angel now?”
“Yes, honey, he is.” She swallows a sob, “And what do angels do?”
“Angels ALWAYS smile down on those they care about.”
“That’s right.”
“But if he loves us, why did he leave us?” Wow, can this child gut me anymore?
Her mother gasps and begins to sob. She drops to her knees and envelops her daughter in her arms, and together they cry and grieve. I give them a few moments and then reach out and squeeze her shoulder. “Sorry, Mrs. Hunter, but I need to talk to you about organ dona—”
“Yes.” Her head pops up and she looks directly into my eyes. “Yes, P-p-p-p…Paul wanted to. The least we can do is make his death worthwhile.”
This woman is amazing. She has just lost her husband, the father of her child, and she’s turning his death into something wonderful. People continue to surprise me, and for once, it’s in a great way. Nodding my head, I squeeze her shoulder tighter. “I’ll contact the team and someone will be over to see you shortly to sign some forms.” She nods at me as the tears continue to streak down her cheeks. With a sad smile, I once again say, “I’m so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Hunter.”
She continues to nod and cry as I walk away. Just as I reach the security doors, I hear a little scream echo through the room. Looking back, I see the little girl in her mother’s arms, sobbing her little heart out. Now that’s heartbreaking. Leaving the little girl and her mother to grieve, I push through the doors and make a beeline for the drug room. Slipping inside, I close the door and lean my head against the wall. Closing my eyes, I breathe deeply and sigh. Quietly I whisper, “Six words have never cut me so deeply before. That little girl’s life will forever be changed because I couldn’t save her father.”
Turning around, I slide down the wall and rest my head back. Closing my eyes again, I breathe deeply and take a few moments to compose myself. The life of a doctor is shit some days, and today it is epically shit.
Once I feel like me again, well as much as you can after an incident like this, I stand up, shake it off, and head back to work. Pushing open the door, I swallow down the lump in my throat and get back to work.
Along the way, I pass a nurse and she looks seductively at me. Licking her lips and grinning. My eyes drop to her mouth and I remember those lips wrapped about my cock a few weeks ago in the on-call room. Then I look into her eyes and I recall the days after. If it hadn’t have been for Kristin saving my ass, I would have had a stage five clinger on my hands. I think she’s the reason for not hooking up with anyone after Kristin left. Nodding at her, I put my head down and keep walking. Not today, nurse, not today…or ever again.
Once everything is finalized, and I’ve handed things over to the transplant team, I pop the paperwork in the correct tray for filing and head toward the doctors’ lounge, thankful today is finally over. Pushing the door open, I step in and see Miranda and Grant, sitting very close together; seems there’s a hot new couple at Western General. I’m happy for them, but coupledom isn’t for me. I’m made for giving pleasure, not settling. We nod our heads hello as I pass by. Sitting in front of my locker, I sigh when I hear the door open and close again.
“Dude,” Preston says, I look up and see him walking over to me. Standing up, we do the manly slap on the back, one-armed man hug, and then I sit back down. “Sorry about your patient,” he offers, as he opens his locker and begins to change; the dude has no shame whatsoever.
“Thanks, man. How he held on as long as he did is beyond me. There was literally nothing I could’ve done.”
“That’s tough.”
Nodding, I pull my scrub top over my head, leaving me in a white T-shirt; I throw my top at the laundry cart and lean into my locker for my button-down. Holding the shirt in my hands, I rub my forehead, and turn to Preston. “Drinks?”
“Hell yes. It’s been a tough week.”
“It sure has. Doesn’t even feel like I had a vacation, but I’m glad to have the weekend off, especially after today.” As I say this, I think back to my holiday and the babes I hooked up with, and in particular the lass who got away, Paige Walsh. Just thinking about her has my cock twitching. Even now, a week later, I’m still thinking about the chick I didn’t fuck. She’s all I can think about. A night with a random lass is exactly what I need to get her out of my head, and I need someone who doesn’t work here. That’s a complication I don’t need right now.
Thirty minutes later, Preston and I walk into the Fat Fox Tavern. We decided to skip the bar closest to Western General. After today, I didn’t want to be around other doctors where the topic of conversation always turns to work. After what transpired with the death of Mr. Hunter, I do not want to think about being a doctor. Tonight I want to fuck and forget.
Glancing around the bar, my eyes land on the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Chocolate brown hair cascades down her back. Slim waist, from what I can tell. Legs that go on and on, I’d like to see those sexy as hell legs wrapped around my waist…or face. She’s sitting at the bar with a girlfriend, drinking beer and doing shots. She’s doesn’t look like a prissy stuck-up lass, I think to myself, as I watch her throw back a shot. She makes a face, which on anyone else would look silly, but on her, it's sexy as fuck. She downs another shot straight after garnering a laugh from her friend. This time she shakes her head at the hit of alcohol, and it causes her tits to wobble. From where I’m standing near the door, they look like gorgeous breasts. I wanna bury my face in them, maybe even slide my dick between them. At that thought, my dick twitches in my pants.