She sanitized herself, and still, he stood there.
“Was there something else?” she asked tartly.
“I’m Derrick.”
“So you said. I should add that I don’t care what your name is. But I will offer a word of advice. In the future, might I suggest you wait and see if a lady is in need of aid before interfering?”
“Most people would call my actions gentlemanly.”
“Or misogynistic because of the assumption I couldn’t care for myself.”
“I am beginning to see the problem,” he muttered.
She arched a brow. “The only problem is your patriarchal involvement in something that didn’t concern you. Now, if you don’t mind. It’s been a most irritating evening.”
But, apparently, he wasn’t ready to leave her alone. He kept close as she left the alley for the sidewalk.
“That guy was your dinner date.” Stated more than asked.
“Unfortunately.”
“I apologize for his actions. We never would have approved him on the roster had we known about his rapist methods. Lucifer is very clear about consent. Something about the lawsuits not being worth it.”
She frowned. “Why are you apologizing? And why do you even care? My dating life is none of your business.”
“Actually, it is. Or are you going to pretend that you don’t know what I am?”
For a moment, his shape changed, became bigger, wider, covered in a fabric swirl of shadow.
“I get that you’re a reaper. Big deal. I’m not dead, meaning you and I have no business together. Or are you going to follow me around until I croak? How does it happen? Please tell me it’s quick. I’m really hoping when I go that it’s an asteroid that burns me to a nice, clean ash.”
“You’re not dying yet, Ashley Dust.”
She halted. “You know who I am.”
“Of course, I do. You’re the reason I’m here.”
She pursed her lips. “I’m confused. You just said I’m not dying.”
“You’re not?
“So what other reason would you have for being here?”
“I’m with Grim Dating, and I’m here to find out why you can’t get laid.”
4
In retrospect, he should have probably phrased that a little less crassly. Ms. Ashley Dust had a very potent magical left hook. Since it had never even occurred to him to disipate, it connected, and actually managed to whoosh all the air out of him.
He doubled over, coughing and wheezing. “Was that necessary?”
She stared at him with a cold gaze. “You’re lucky that’s all I did, considering you were spying on me.”
“Observing,” he corrected. “And I might add that you gave us permission to do so in the contract you signed when you agreed to the terms of service.”
Her gaze narrowed. “Small print. I hate the damned small print. So your company gave itself an out when it comes to spying on its clients.”
“Don’t think of it as an invasion. We are only allowed to observe in public places.”
“That doesn’t make it any better. Why start stalking me now? You’re the first Grim employee I’ve seen, and I’ve been on a lot of dates.” She rolled her eyes.
“Which is exactly why I was assigned to your case. Given the number of fails, there is concern that your profile needs adjustment. It was thought that if I were to perhaps act as a silent observer, I could discern where our matchmaking has gone wrong.”
“At least you admit it’s your fault. I really wish you would do a better job because I am getting tired of meeting unfit specimens who can’t handle a real lady.”
“Perhaps start by not calling them specimens?” It did take some of the fun out of it.
“Here’s the thing…” She paused, only for half a second.
Long enough for him to mutter, “Derrick.”
She went on as if he hadn’t spoken. “I’m not dating to find love. I need to make a baby.”
He winced. “That’s blunt.”
“It’s the truth. I have a contract with the Devil, and it requires certain things of me. Having a child for the Dark Lord is one of them.”
“So you just need viable swimmers. Doesn’t seem so hard? Or was that the problem. Did the males we set you up with not…you know?” His gaze flicked down.
She snorted. “None of them suffered erectile dysfunction, at least that I was aware of. I should add that none of the dates lasted past dessert.”
“Why?”
“Because they were inadequate, and they knew it. Most of them are smart enough to not waste our time.”
“What was wrong with tonight’s prospect?”
“You tell me. You were the one spying.”
“I got there late,” he admitted sheepishly. At her arched brow, he gruffly added, “My alarm didn’t go off.”
He could feel the disapproval coming off her like a cold storm.
It made him want to tuck her under his cloak and warm her up.
“My date used the same excuse for arriving two minutes after the agreed-upon hour. Ideally, he should have gotten there before me and ensured that we got the best table. But he arrived late and didn’t even apologize. As you can imagine, that set a poor tone.”
“Did it occur to you that he might have had a good reason?”
Only a slight twitch of her lip, yet he could swear that he heard mirth under the chill as she said, “Then he should have used it. Tardiness is a boorish trait, and I won’t pass it on to my child.”
“I am starting to see why he waited in the alley for revenge. Most demons don’t handle rejection or criticism well.”
“I said nothing. At all.”
He’d wager she glared, though, which might have been worse. “How long did the dinner last?”
“Not past the appetizers, which were uninspired. No surprise, given the locale.”
“You want good food, you go to A Lion’s Pride Steak House. Those fuckers know their meat.”
“It’s cats handling food. Never in a million years.”
“That much of a clean freak, eh?” He took a mental note as he reached into his pocket for his smokes. A human vice he just couldn’t shake, even as a reaper. And why should he? It wasn’t as if the shit could kill him anymore.
The pack went flying as she slapped it.
He shot her an incredulous look. “What. The. Fuck?”
“I don’t like cigarette smoke.”
“So you say something. You don’t fucking slap a guy.”
“You were rude in not asking. I replied in kind. Don’t whine. It’s not as if it hurt.”
He eyed the pack of cigarettes on the ground, then glared at her. “Again, you could have just asked me not to smoke.”
“Nice won’t get you to quit. How many people kick nasty habits when people around them are understanding and nice about it? They don’t, because there’s no incentive.”
“I am beginning to see why you’re a handmaiden to the Devil. You have no filter.”
“It’s called telling things as they are. People claim they want the truth. They don’t and can’t handle it when you tell them.”