For a few heartbeats, she’s quiet. “That’s a sad way to look at it. But I guess you’re not wrong. The people we care about most have power to hurt us the worst.” Not expecting her agreement, my eyes go to hers. She adds, “But that doesn’t mean they do. A lot of times people use that as an excuse to not even try.”
This time, I’m the one staring down at my ratty winter boots. When I saw the first thin coat of white powder on the ground, I muttered the whole time I laced them up.
Raine clears her throat. “I came downstairs one night after Aiden moved you in, but you weren’t on the couch.”
Defense kicks in. “So?”
Her eyes brighten, but the rest of her expression is casual. “So, try with him. I think it’d be good for the both of you if you let things play out without thinking too much. He’s never let anyone in his life, shown so much interest in one person, as he has with you. That means something. And I know it’s probably complicated with the draft and his future. I’m not sure what I’d do if Caleb decided he wanted to go pro. But if there’s anyone who can figure it out, it’s you.”
“You don’t know me, Raine.”
“I know you’re the most stubborn, headstrong, and independent person I’ve ever met. I’m a little jealous of you, to be honest.”
I gape at her.
She laughs. “I am. I love my life, but sometimes I wonder what it’d be like to be on my own and be a bad ass like you are. You’re so…intense, but in a good way, you know? Driven like you’re always trying to prove something. It’s kind of motivating. I love Caleb though, and I’m happy with how things are so I wouldn’t change a thing. Think about what I said though, okay? Aiden’s a good guy too. Stubborn but good. I think he’s met his match with you.”
Silence greets her statement, so she nods over the conversation’s end. “I hope you hear from your brother. It’d be good to talk to family for the holidays. I’ll see you around. We could try grabbing food sometime again if you want.” When I nod, I watch her turn and start walking toward her friends but stop and look back at me again, nibbling her bottom lip. “Hey, Ivy? There’s something I think you should know. I heard some of the girls talking at the house after what happened with you, and it wasn’t really Syd’s idea to kick you out. I mean, sure she didn’t really like you for some reason, but she doesn’t like many people. Um, anyway…it was Aiden who convinced her to make you move.”
My eyes widen and something heavy unfurrows in my chest cavity. “What?”
Her lips rub together at my sharp tone, her eyes sharper with awareness like she regrets saying anything. “He was looking out for you.”
Anger takes over the shock, boiling in my stomach. “Looking out for me,” I repeat dryly, knee bouncing. “Wow.”
“Don’t be angry at him,” she tries convincing me, a pleading expression on her face.
Too late.
“Don’t tell Caleb I know,” I tell her distantly, my skin tightening as I run my palms over the sleeve covering the deepest scar. “I think this is a conversation Aiden is going to have to have with me without any warning first.”
She winces, but nods. “Okay.”
When she finally leaves me alone, I take a few deep breaths before turning back to the computer and staring at my brother’s picture for way longer than is probably considered normal. He looks happy, well cared for. Isn’t that what I’ve always wanted?
The message I send him is short.
I exclude my phone number.
A girl can only take so many hits before she stops getting back up.
Some of the football team is home when I walk down the basement stairs. I hear their loud footsteps and booming voices, something crash followed by varied laughter, and it makes me angry. I’ve been in a mood all day, replaying Raine’s words over and over, and letting it simmer with every passing minute.
When I walk into the basement to find both the common room and Aiden’s empty, I walk upstairs to see if he’s there.
It’s rare I spend time with the others because I don’t like being in anyone’s way. The guys are always nice if I’m in the kitchen grabbing food or making them something as payment for letting me stay—greeting me with head nods or a small “hi” or “hey”, shooting me polite smiles, or if they’re DJ, tackle hugging me because he has no sense of personal space. Some of them will thank me for whatever I leave on the counter or fridge for them to eat, and once in a while I’ll get certain requests of things to make next.
Despite my protests, Aiden makes us come up and join them for random movie nights, and unlike when the girls did it at the house, it’s never that bad. Maybe because my former childhood friend would always be pressed against me, his entire side plastered against mine, and his tense personality warning away anyone from paying us much attention. It always feels safe with him. Comfortable. Effortless.
That sense of safety should be enough for me not to cause a scene right now, but I guess I have my parents’ temper after all.
“Where is Aiden?” I ask Justin, the first poor soul I see.
He stops what he’s doing, peeling off his coat and boots and nearly falling when he narrowly avoids stepping on his bum knee, and blinks at me. “He’s in the living room with the guys I think.”
I walk past him, ignoring DJ when he tries saying something to me in the hall about making more carrot cake, and enter the large den where the remaining few Dragon players are surrounding the TV and watching some sort of game footage.
Aiden is planted on the love seat off to the side, instantly turning his head in my direction before I can say a word.
It’s always been like that.
Since the day we first met, his eyes would find me no matter where I was, how many people were around us, or how loud things were even when I was silent. At night he’d stir from bed when I lifted his window and crawled over the pane as quietly as possible. He’d follow me to the fort even if I never asked him to.
Aiden always knows.
Senses.
It’s unnerving.
“We need to talk,” I inform him, crossing my arms over my chest and ignoring the looks I get from his buddies.
I think I hear a murmured, “Awe shit” from one of them and Caleb say, “Here we go” but I don’t bother giving them a look. If Raine kept her word, not even the team’s running back knows what storm is brewing inside of me.
Aiden stands and walks around the guys, someone mumbling the Jaws theme song while others join in that makes me want to smack them all before the six-five tight end stops in front of my tense body. “Are you okay?”
Am I okay? I snort. “That’s one hell of a question, Griffith.”
More noises from the peanut gallery behind us leaves Aiden threading his fingers with mine before tugging me along with him toward the basement door. My heart thumps, thumps, thumps loudly in my chest as little tingles shoot up from our joined palms.
He’s never held my hand before. Not even when we were younger. He would give me hugs in comfort, put his arm around my shoulders and tell me it’ll be all right, but he’d never hold my hand.
A lump of unspoken feelings forms in my throat, making it hard to swallow. I have to reach in deep, pushing the way his hand fits against mine out of the way, and remember why we’re having this conversation.