“Ready to try this feeding thing? I heard him getting a little upset so I figured it was time,” she tells Josie.
“Yeah.” Josie nods but looks a little worried. I don’t blame her.
And that’s our cue to leave. Neither Nik nor I want to stick around to watch Josie learn to breastfeed her baby so we say our goodbyes, leaving the family alone so they can have some privacy.
“We’ll leave you be. Congratulations, baby sis. You done good.”
He kisses her on the cheek and gives Dean a hug, grabs my hand, and we walk out of the hospital room.
Chapter Twelve
Nikolas
I don’t want to release Ashley’s hand as we make our way through the quiet hallways of the hospital. Seeing her hold my nephew did something to me but it started before that. Really, it started the night she and I played darts and conceived a child. Is that normal? To have this immediate need of protecting the person who’s carrying your child? I certainly hope so.
If we weren’t in the middle of a hospital room, surrounded by my sister and brother-in-law just now, I would have had a hard time not kissing her. The way she talked so sweetly to Jay was doing me in.
Neither of us say a single word as we continue walking, all the way to my pickup where I open her door and let her inside.
When I join her in the cab, I start it up and let it idle for a few minutes before looking over at her. She’s staring straight out the windshield, her chest rising and falling.
“Your place or mine?” I ask, hoping my instincts aren’t completely wrong here.
When she groans and drops her head, I panic for a second. Then she looks at me and smiles. “Thank goodness you asked. Yours. Quickly.”
“Got it.”
The drive to my house is thankfully short, only long enough for two country songs to play on my satellite radio. The first song is all about finding yourself in a bar, and if that isn’t an anthem for how we got together, I don’t know what is. I glance over at Ashley and she returns my smirk. I almost laugh out loud with how perfect it is for us. But the second song? This one has me pushing the pedal down a little harder.
The song starts out innocently enough, but the lyrics quickly turn to pleasing a woman, taking it slow, and giving her what she wants.
Somewhere through the song, I begin singing along and grab her hand. I don’t even realize it until I feel her other hand close over ours.
I wish we were already at home so I could dance with her in my living room, holding her tight against me while singing softly to her.
That’s one of the fondest memories I have about my parents growing up.
They danced.
All the time. When I was little, I loved it because it would make me laugh. Then I became a teenager and thought it was stupid. Then I got a little older and realized that it wasn’t stupid at all. It was one of the ways they showed each other love.
It wasn’t just slow dancing, either. They’d two-step all over the house, it seemed. Dad would spin Mom out and right back into his arms without either of them missing a beat, their feet moving to the music with ease.
A memory hits me hard and sudden of my dad talking to me about dancing with my mom.
“It might seem corny, and trust me when I was young I thought so, too. But then you’ll find the girl and that thought will go straight out the window. It’ll click. Trust me, when you find the girl, it’ll all fall into place.”
“The girl?” I ask.
“Yeah. The girl you want to dance with. Under the stars, in front of the kids, in the bed of your truck, in the parking lot of Walmart. Any time she’ll let you take her in your arms, you’ll grab the chance and hold her tight because the idea of letting her go isn’t an option.”
“Dad…” I protest, thinking he’s completely full of it.
“Listen to me, Nik, and listen to me good. This is the point where your father gets to dole out his advice and you get to soak it all in. When you find the woman you want to drop everything to dance with. The woman you want to hold hands with wherever you go. The woman who you want to go for a Sunday afternoon drive with or sit on the porch and watch the sun rise. The woman who turns you inside out with a single look. That’s the woman God put on this earth for you, Son. You don’t let her go. And you don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t fit that description.”
Luckily, I’ve driven home enough that I can make it there on auto-pilot because I have no recollection of how I make it home, my mind on other things. I park in the garage and Ashley doesn’t give me the chance to open her door, she’s already hopping out and following me inside.
After we remove our coats and shoes, I flip on the kitchen light, grab the Brita jug of water out of the fridge, pull out two glasses, and fill one for each of us.
“You worried I’m dehydrated?”
Over the rim of my glass I meet her eyes. “After what I have planned for us? Yes.”
“Oh my,” she breathes, setting her glass down on the counter with a trembling hand.
“C’mere, Ash.”
She floats over, not hesitating to wrap her arms around my waist. “You called?”
I waggle my eyebrows and grin down at her. “Could get used to that… you obeying my commands. Should I request that you call me Master, too?”
She struggles against me and playfully hits my chest, trying not to laugh. The corner of my mouth ticks up and I bend down, kissing the tip of her nose. “Just playin’ with you,” I murmur.
“Know that, Nik. You don’t need to treat me with kid gloves. I like being teased. I like being playful. I like that you joke around with me.” She leans up and kisses the shell of my ear then whispers, “I also like it when you boss me around, remember?”
Bending my knees, I let my hands fall to just below her ass and lift her up. She wraps her legs around me and I plant her on the counter.
Growling, I tell her, “Good to know we’re on the same page there.”
“Yes,” she replies.
“Need to tell you something, Ash. These last few weeks have been weird and I know that we need more time to get to know each other. We jumped way ahead of ourselves that night but I’m not sorry. I also don’t want to freak you out by telling you this, but even before I knew about the baby, I hadn’t stopped thinking about you. If you’re feeling it, I want to have a discussion about exploring what it is that’s between us.”
Ashley’s eyes dance when she says, “So you have a crush on me, huh?”
“Fuckin’ smart ass.” I grin before crushing my lips to hers. Whatever we needed to discuss can be said later. Right now, I plan to use other methods to show her how I feel about her. Or, rather, how my body feels.
Right now, the future is on hold.
We’re just two people giving in to our desires.
Only…
That’s not true at all.
Logically, we shouldn’t work. We were both in serious relationships when we met. Heartbroken. Drunk. Angry.
But somehow, none of those things matter because the time I’ve spent with Ashley trump all of the ugliness before.
Our kiss is desperate, aching, possibly dangerous and a bit reckless if we don’t figure out what we are. Maybe that’s why it’s so damn good. Because what comes next doesn’t matter. At least not in this moment.