“Doll, I’m sorry,” I say, reaching out and gripping her chin to bring her eyes back to mine. “I swear, I’ll make it up to you.”
Shrugging her shoulders, Rachel tries to act as if it doesn’t bother her, but I can see the hurt behind the tough exterior. “There’s nothing to make up for. I listened to what you said. But still, it doesn’t change anything,” she whispers.
What the fuck? Did she not get what I said, that I want her?
“Rachel, it does change things. It changes everything,” I murmur, leaning in to press my forehead to hers. “You want to know something?”
“What?” she asks quietly.
“If I’d known you had a crush on me before you’d left, I might not have let you leave for college,” I say.
“I highly doubt that,” she mutters as her body draws taunt under my touch.
“Doubt me? How so?” I ask.
“Because you never once saw me. And you were and probably still are enjoying all the women who surround you,” she says, closing her eyes.
“What do you mean I never once saw you? If that were the case, I wouldn’t have known who you were,” I retort.
“It doesn’t matter,” she feigns.
Yeah, I don’t think so. I want to know what she meant by I never saw her.
“Don’t tell me it doesn’t matter. I want to know why you think I’d never seen you,” I demand.
Long moments pass before Rachel finally decides to answer me. “No one ever sees me,” she whispers so quietly I barely hear her.
“Wanna explain that a little bit better for me, Doll,” I ask, lifting my hand to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“It means I stick to the background. Everyone sees the girl next to me as the hot chick and looks right through me. I don’t fit in anywhere. My mom didn’t want me, would have sold me off if not for my uncle. I didn’t belong around the clubhouse, that point was obvious. I didn’t belong anywhere in this town. That point was made clear the day I left. And after I knew it to be true, I was an afterthought, someone everyone looked past. Neither Tracker nor Hoggs came to visit me while I was at school or asked me to come home to visit. Not once. So, like I said, you never saw me nor did anyone else,” she says, tears prickling her eyes.
I let her words soak in as I held Rachel’s gaze. Now I realize exactly how much I fucked up with her. To her, she sees herself as a second thought, the last to be picked, and by me claiming her as my property, she was put at the bottom of the food chain in a sense.
Pulling her into my lap, I settle my woman so that her chest is flush with mine as she wraps her arms around my waist. “Rachel, you don’t see what I see. Not then and not now. Just because I didn’t talk to you much doesn’t mean I never saw you. Because I did. You were this beautiful spirit who several of my brothers wanted to try and get with. Tracker threatened anyone and everyone who said a word about you. Said you were only eighteen and heading off to college. If not for your cousin, I probably would have approached you,” I say, kissing the tip of her nose, each cheek, then her lips.
“Did you know I saw you once?” she murmurs.
“Saw me once what?” I ask, not understanding the question.
“With one of the clubwhores. You had her up against the wall as you fucked her.” I have to stop her from turning her head away from me.
“Baby, don’t turn your head when talking to me. We’re getting everything out on the table right now. Then after, you and I are goin’ to move forward from everything,” I say as I cup her ass in both hands.
“Why do you want me? You don’t even know me. We spent a total of maybe twenty hours together. That doesn’t make for a relationship. I didn’t even do anything with Lucien for the first six months I was with him.” I tense at her mention of Lucien.
“Rachel, I have no problem with you talking to me about that asshat, but not right now, not in this bed, and sure as hell don’t compare what you had with him to what we are,” I growl, squeezing her ass in my hands, needing her to know whose arms she was in.
“I wasn’t trying to compare you with him. I was simply stating a fact. You don’t need to go all he–man alpha on me,” she mutters.
“Well, all the same, baby, even with stating a fact, don’t do it in our bed,” I state. “Now, let me get back on track. I don’t need that much time to know when I want something. I will admit I went about it the wrong way. In my head, I saw you the same as an ol’ lady but without using the term. As many times as I’ve been to the Franklin Charter, I’ve never really paid attention to the way my brothers there are with the women in their lives. This time, though, you were in my mind constantly and as I saw them all, I knew I wanted that for myself. With you.”
“How could you want something with me? I’m not what you're used to. I look nothing like Cherry Pie or even Tiny,” she whispers.
Needing her to understand, I grip her ass and slide off the bed. Keeping her in my arms, I walk into the bathroom. I set her down on her feet and turn her to face the mirror over the sink. “Look in the mirror and tell me what you see,” I order.
Lifting her eyes from the sink, Rachel glances at herself, then meets my eyes in the reflection. “I see me. A woman with okay sized boobs, a barely there ass, a pudge I can’t seem to lose, along with more curves than I should have compared to others,” she says.
“You want to know what I see? I see a beautiful woman with fire in her eyes. A woman who would do anything to protect her kids,” I say, sliding my hands down her waist to grip the bottom of my shirt. Lifting it over her head, I bare her body for me to see in the mirror. Placing my hands on her flat stomach, I lean down to kiss the base of her neck. “This right here is nothing to worry about. You just had two babies three months ago. If your stomach were any flatter, you’d be bone thin. This is not a pudge. And even if it were, it wouldn’t make a difference.”
I pause my words as I slide my hands up her body to cup her tits. “These, baby, are more than just okay. They’re damn perfect with a little treat attached to them,” I tell her as I flick the hoops, drawing a moan out of her.
Needing to finish my point, I glide my hands down her body to her waist. “You want to know what you have over both of those women? These curves. Just enough for me to hold onto and not feel like I’ll break you. I don’t want anyone else and haven’t since I pulled you into my arms when you wrecked that truck into my clubhouse. That’s what I see, Doll, a beautiful spitfire who could rule the fuckin’ world if she wanted. And I hope you stand by me as my ol’ lady in the club,” I murmur, holding her gaze as I pepper kisses along her shoulder and run my hands over her body.
“Okay,” she whispers before turning in my arms and wrapping hers around my neck. “Are we done talking for now?” Rachel leans forward and places a kiss on my chest.
“Yeah, Doll, we can be finished talkin’ for now, but you’ll be telling me how you got past all but one camera,” I smirk and lift her into my arms. Leaving the bathroom, I carry my woman to the bed, where I plan to spend hours showing her just how beautiful she really is.