It wasn’t that he thought she was too weak for the military way of life, although he wondered how she’d deal with the isolation it could bring. He also thought there was a strong possibility that he would have a very hard time leaving her behind. If you don’t get your shit together, you won’t have to worry about that. You’ll lose her.
But how? He could handle hundreds of soldiers without breaking a sweat. He’d dodged enemy fire, for God’s sake, and had returned to do it again and again. Yet matters of the heart were a mystery to him. He broke out in a cold sweat just considering all the things that could go wrong. He doesn’t even have a Christmas tree. It didn’t seem like much, but it was a starting point. He always felt better with a plan of action. She’d been trapped here alone, without a vehicle, for a week. With only his pitiful company in the evenings. And what entertainment had he provided? She claimed to like The Walking Dead, but watching an entire season wasn’t exactly romantic. Plus, he always took the chair, while she sat on the sofa with his dog. Well, actually, Trouble adored her so much, he couldn’t claim total ownership of the dog these days.
He moved into the living room to wait for her, hoping she didn’t return with her suitcase. About fifteen minutes later, she came into view, with her faithful companion trotting happily at her side. Trouble is smarter than I am. Maybe if I licked her hand? He couldn’t help smiling at that thought. Of course, that was the exact moment that she spotted him and halted in her tracks. “Oh—hello, I didn’t realize you were home.”
Her face was flushed and he knew she was wondering how long he’d been here. “I just walked in.” He shrugged. “Hey, how about we go out tonight? Feel like dinner at Maxi’s before we go shopping? I didn’t bother to get a Christmas tree last year since I was busy getting ready for my deployment, but I think we should rectify that, don’t you? Trouble will probably chew all the lights off it, but it’ll be nice while it lasts.”
She appeared stunned. She probably had no clue how to deal with him not only interacting normally with her but also suggesting an outing. The look on her face would have been comical, had it not been further proof of how shitty he’d been the entire time she’d been staying with him. I can do better, Sara, give me a chance.
“I—er . . . sure. If that’s what you want. Just let me change clothes. I’m covered in dog fur.”
He motioned toward what he was wearing. “Yeah, I need to do the same. What say we leave in about thirty minutes? Will that give you enough time?”
When he recalled how long it had taken Melanie to get ready, he wondered if he was rushing her. But she merely shrugged. “Sure, that’ll work.” She gave him a last perplexed stare before disappearing once again.
Only this time Trouble stayed behind. He ambled over to Gabe and nudged his leg, as if congratulating him on pulling his head out of his ass. “I know, buddy. You’ve been trying to tell me, but I’m a little slow sometimes.” He could have sworn the dog nodded. “You’re entirely too smart, boy,” he murmured as he scratched him between the ears. “Actually, you’re the brightest male in this house.”
Gabe spent a few more minutes with Trouble, then headed to his room. For the first time since Sara had arrived, he was strangely excited. It was what he’d expected to feel when they met in person. But instead they had been plagued by misunderstandings and mixed signals. And most of those lately had come from him. He’d put the ball in her court in North Carolina, and she’d passed it back to him by taking the flight to Alaska. She made the leap of faith, only he hadn’t been there to catch her. He wasn’t naive enough to think it would be smooth sailing. They were still essentially strangers. But neither of them could deny they cared about each other. She’d told her cousin that she’d fallen for him, and he’d been fighting the fact that he felt the same way about her. He didn’t know if what they had was a forever thing, but he did know with certainty that if he didn’t give them a real shot, he would always regret it. He only hoped he hadn’t already lost her.
Chapter Twenty-One
Sara felt as if she’d landed in the Twilight Zone. As she sat across from Gabe in Maxi’s, she couldn’t help thinking that he wasn’t the same man she’d been staying with. No, in fact, he was the Gabe she’d come to know in Iraq. The warm, funny, thoughtful, and caring version that she was beginning to think she’d imagined. “So what’d you decide on?” he asked as he looked up from his menu. If he thought it strange that she was staring at him, he didn’t mention it. In fact, he smiled, offering her a genuine expression. Not the fake kind he’d been using. What is going on? Pity date? And they were going to pick out a Christmas tree next. That was maybe the weirdest thing of all. She wondered if he was doing it for her benefit. She’d mentioned how she loved Christmas and how much fun it was to decorate the tree with Kaylee. The fact that he wanted to get one was oddly touching.
The past week had been a roller coaster of emotions for her, and she was more than a little overwhelmed by it all. Today was the first time she allowed herself to fully consider all that she’d walked away from to go to him in Alaska. Her relatives might not be perfect, but she’d always known she had a family to rely on if needed. Yet now, she wasn’t sure that was the case. They had every right to turn their backs on her, as she’d basically done to them. “Sara, are you ready to order?” When Gabe touched her hand, she realized she’d been lost in her thoughts and hadn’t noticed the waitress standing there.
“Oh, sorry,” she murmured and quickly selected the lasagna. “I don’t see Maxi,” she noted as she glanced around. She felt awkward and uncertain, which made it difficult for her to relax.
A fact that Gabe seemed to notice. Because when the server returned with a glass of wine, he motioned for her to put it in front of Sara, and he took the tea she’d ordered. “Listen, I know it’s been tense since you’ve been here, and I apologize. We could sit here and rehash everything, but I don’t think either of us is up for that.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose before continuing. “What I’d like to do, if you’re agreeable, is to start over. Try to get back to where we were during my deployment. There’s a reason we wanted to meet. We enjoy each other, and there are feelings there. Granted, we have to make the adjustment to being together in a more conventional way. It might not have been easy on us, but we’ve at least broken the ice this week.”
She wondered for a moment if he was joking. This was the exact opposite of what she’d been expecting. She had been ready to throw in the towel and return home because he’d been so cool and distant toward her. Maybe he had sensed it somehow. Because he was opening up to her—and did this mean he was giving them a real chance? Is that what I still want? “I’m scared,” she admitted. If they were going to attempt to restore their former bond, she needed to be completely honest with him. And if he couldn’t handle that, it was better to know now.