“I’m so sorry, baby. Oh god, what did I do? I fucked it all up,” he whispers. “I-It’s my fault you lost the baby, our baby.”
I pull back, grabbing Ranger’s face in my hands, and make him look at me. “It is not your fault. It wasn’t meant to be, that’s all.” I brush his tears away with my thumbs.
“When did it happen? Were you physically okay afterward?” His voice is rough like sandpaper.
“Ahem… It happened about a week after I heard you left for boot camp. I hadn’t felt good all day. I laid down to take a nap, and when I woke up sometime in the night, I began having bad cramps. I went to the bathroom and noticed I had blood on the inside of my underwear. I went to the emergency room, and they examined me, but they said I’d already passed the baby.” I wipe the tears that leak from my eyes.
Ranger pulls me into his arms. Neither of us says anything; instead, we hold each other for a long time. In the middle of Coastal Crush Winery, I finally get some closure.
Chapter Twelve
Ranger
Lainey’s quiet as I drive us back to my place. I should take her back to Lance’s, but I don’t want to be away from her right now. She doesn’t object when we pull into the parking lot at my condo a little bit later.
I jump out, come around to her side, open the door for her, and help her down. She lets me hold onto her as we head inside. She looks straight ahead as we ride the elevator up to my floor.
Once inside my apartment, I lead her straight to my bedroom. I peel off her dress, leaving her in her bra and panties. “Let me get you a t-shirt.”
Lainey shakes her head and grabs the hem of my polo, tugging it up and over my head, and tosses it aside. Then she unhooks her bra and pulls down her panties, throwing them to the side.
I’m not sure what’s happening right now, but I’m letting her lead. She unbuttons my pants, then unzips them. My body reacts when she squats down, pulling my pants and boxer briefs off. She leans forward and kisses the scar on my hip. Her hand wraps around my cock, and I moan.
She looks up at me as she licks the drop of precum off the tip of my dick. Fuck, she is so sexy when she does that. Lainey moans as she swallows me to the back of her throat. I place my hands on the top of her head as she begins to bob up and down on my cock. It hits the back of her throat every time, making me moan.
“Baby, I’m gonna come if you don’t stop,” I groan.
Lainey lowers her head, but I stop her. I need inside her with a desperation I haven’t felt in a long time.
I pick her up and toss her on the bed while she squeals. I grab a condom out of my nightstand, quickly sliding it down my stiff length. “Tell me you want to stop, and we’ll stop—we don’t have to do this.”
She holds out her hand to me, and I take it as I climb on the bed. I move until I’m hovering above her and cage her in. “Make love to me,” Lainey whispers before grabbing my face and pulling me down for a kiss.
Our kiss is urgent, desperate. Her tongue brushes mine, and my cock jerks, begging to slide inside her tight pussy. I reach between us, needing to know if she’s ready for me or not.
I moan against her mouth because she’s so fucking wet. I rub tiny circles around her clit, feeling it harden beneath my fingertips.
“Please,” she begs. Lainey reaches between my legs and grabs my dick.
I let her rub me through the wetness and line me up at her opening. The moment she lets go, I slide inside her. Fuck, she feels like home. The tears in her eyes make me believe she feels the same. I grab both of her hands and hold them above her head.
We lock eyes as we begin to move together. Her moans turn into cries as I pull almost all the way out and then thrust back in. Over and over, we move together as one. She ripples around my dick, causing me to moan.
I spread my legs, which opens her more to me, letting me sink deeper inside her. She cries out, coming hard around me. Fuck, even with a condom on, I can still feel how hot and wet she gets.
Lainey’s fingers flex around mine as I pick up the pace, pounding into her with punishing strokes. I feel my balls draw up tight. I bend down, kissing her lips as I let go of her hands so I can grab onto the headboard.
Her nails score my back, but I welcome the bite of pain. “Fuckk…” I moan as I plant myself to the root, coming deep inside her. If I didn’t have a condom on, I would’ve filled her to the brim with my cum.
The only sounds I can hear right now are the buzzing in my ears and my panting breath. I look down at Lainey, and she’s silently crying. “What is it, baby?” I ask as I thumb her tears away.
“I’ve missed you so much, but I’m still so fucking mad at you.” She somehow flips us, and my softening cock slips from her pussy. Lainey punches my chest. “How the fuck did you think I would have a better life without you.”
Fuck, she hits hard, but I take every hit. “I know, baby. I was stupid. I should’ve talked to you. I thought I was freeing you to live the life you deserved. “
“I deserved you.” She whimpers, and it breaks my heart.
Lainey collapses on my chest, and my eyes begin to burn. Her body bucks with her silent sobs. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. I should’ve been there when she lost our baby. We could’ve mourned together. Fuck, we could’ve had kids by now.
My tears begin flowing again. I’ve never been a crier. The last time I cried was the night I destroyed us. That night, in the safety of my room, I cried for hours. Two days later, I was on a plane headed to boot camp.
We stay locked in a tight embrace, neither of us willing to let the other one go.
I groan as I roll over. It feels like I’ve been beaten to shit. I’m not sure what time we finally dozed off, but all night long, we’d made love, slept, repeat. Lainey’s side of the bed is cold.
Climbing out of bed, I grab some basketball shorts and slip them on. Part of me is worried that she’s gone. After using the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I step into the kitchen.
I spot Lainey sitting on the balcony, drinking a cup of coffee. I go to the coffeemaker, and there’s a mug sitting on the counter with a little bit of sugar in the bottom of the cup. That was the way I used to take my coffee when we were dating. I pour some coffee into it and then step outside. She looks up at me and gives me a soft smile.
“Morning. How’d you sleep?” I take the seat next to her, resting my ankles on the railing next to hers.
“Good, when you let me sleep.” She smiles over the rim of her coffee cup. We both turn to stare up at the sky. Neither of us speaks as we take in the morning until I feel Lainey’s hand wrap around mine. “I assumed that after we hashed everything out last night, or at least for the most part, that I’d have closure and would be able to walk away from you.”
That causes the pain in my chest to grow. “And now?” Do I even want to know the answer?
“I honestly don’t know. I meant what I said yesterday, and I need to be completely honest with myself and with you. I still love you, I’ve always loved you, but right now, that’s all I know.” She shakes her head. “Tell me everything about that night.”