I was breaking when I met him, and I broke even more each day thereafter. Marcus didn’t get the best of me, he got the broken part of me, and I did nothing to repair that.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Rochelle
Marcus makes no attempt to see me. None at all. I didn’t really expect him to, but as the weeks pass and I don’t hear from him, I wonder if he even thinks of me, or if it’s just my broken heart hoping maybe he does.
My soul’s crushed, just as much as my heart was when I left his house.
I return to work and life goes back to where it was. Before my grandparents’ death. Before meeting him.
I start to smile again, which is nice. It takes time, but eventually it comes, even though it’s painfully slow. When I think of those whom I loved and lost, I don’t break down at the drop of a hat anymore. Now, I smile and try to remember the good, and not get hung up with the bad. The bad is not a good place for me to dwell in.
Kat asked to move in with me. Her lease was up on her place, and she had been over at my house every day with Annabelle anyway. I was more than happy for her to move in. The company’s nice.
Kat started dating.
I don’t.
I won’t.
Annabelle is my companion when Kat goes out, and thank God for my beautiful, toothy niece. She makes me smile on days when I’m not sure I can, or perhaps the truth is I don’t want to.
“You need to date,” Kat says, smiling as she slides on a red dress. “Get dressed, you’re coming with me.”
“Nope. No way,” I reply while shaking my head and sitting my ass on the couch.
“Oh yes you are. Now get up.”
“I don’t want to do that speed date thing you do.”
“This isn’t that. I’m going out with a few friends to a club. You. Are. Coming.”
“Nope,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
“You haven’t heard from Marcus since you broke up. It’s been almost two months, Roch. Get dressed, it’s time for another man to play with that heart of yours.”
“I like not having my heart fucked around with, and I don’t want that anymore if I can help it. Thank you very much.”
Kat waves at me. “Please, you loved it.” She throws a dress from her closet at me. “You can be pretty in red, too. Now get it on, it’s a red party.”
“Isn’t it meant to be a white party?”
“No. Now slide it on and put your hair up. I have to leave soon, and the Uber is on its way.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“If you come, I will clean for a month.”
I jump at her words and start stripping, sliding on the dress, and heading off to change panties before I throw my hair up. When I walk out, she’s wearing heels, and she dangles a pair off her fingers for me. “I knew that would work. You hate housework. Now, come on.”
Of course, it would work, and she knows it. Honestly, I hate cleaning, cooking, you name it. Hate it. My goal in life is to live where I never have to cook again, I detest it that much.
Now that would be living.
“How long are we expected to stay out?” I ask as we both slide into the Uber.
“Don’t even start the night off with that attitude,” Kat answers with an eye roll.
“What?”
She points her finger in my face. “I know what you’re doing, and don’t. Relax, try to have fun. Have a few drinks and mingle. Mum has Annabelle and I need this.”
“Are you meeting anyone?”
“No, but I hope to.”
Kat’s in a phase lately where she likes to go out. She never used to. Hardly went out before Annabelle, and now that Annabelle’s over a year old she’s started to go out more. If I don’t watch Annabelle, our mother does. And it’s not like Kat goes out often, just more times than we are used to from her. This is her second time this month, and I like to see her happy. It’s as if she’s discovering life again, and she’s living it.
We come to a stop outside a club that is not in our area. I haven’t been here before, as I prefer to stay local.
Getting out, there’s a queue around the corner. Damn, I really don’t want to wait in a line. Kat clamps her hand around mine and pulls me to the front of the queue. The bouncer smiles at Kat and instantly lets her in.
“When did you become miss popular?” I ask as we make our way down steps into a busy area full of people.
“One of the guys from my speed date owns this place. It’s pretty cool, hey?” I can only nod at her words. “Okay, let’s drink.” Kat walks to the bar, buys two drinks, and turns around. “So, I know for a fact those guys over there…” she points to an area in the corner where a few guys are seated, “… are single. Any of them tickle your fancy?”
I look, even though I know I won’t say yes. One guy with blond hair, the type I would usually go for, before him that is, takes my eye.
“That’s Matt, by the way.”
“I’m not interested.”
“You want to turn into a lonely old cat lady?” she asks with an eyebrow cocked.
“No, I want to move on, but only when I’m ready.”
Kat turns away with her drink in her hand. Then her hand grabs mine and she squeezes.
I turn in her direction.
Then I see them.
Both of them.
They’re walking to the booth area where all the guys are seated. Marcus stands behind his brother, Blaze. Marcus is just a fraction taller and just as big, but he doesn’t look interested. Blaze, on the other hand, looks angry. A few guys straighten when they see them approaching, and they start talking, but my eyes don’t leave him. Marcus is dressed in black jeans and a white shirt, and his hair is brushed backward, so his curls are not as strong or evident as they usually are.
Damn! I love those curls.
“I need to go,” I say to Kat.
“Yes, okay, then. Sorry, I didn’t know they would be here.”
I don’t reply to Kat, simply turn and start for the door. It’s busier now, and it is hard to push through the people to get back to the front.
Suddenly, I’m pulled back, and I’m about ready to let go at Kat when I turn and see Marcus with his hand on me. “Pretty girl.”
Something rushes toward my chest from the sound of that voice, suffocating me. Pulling my arm out of his grasp, he looks at me, shocked. “Why are you here?”
I scrunch my face at his words and turn to see Blaze talking with Kat, who’s next to me. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but she’s smiling. And Marcus, well, he looks serious.
“I was just leaving.”
“You look good, pretty girl.”
I laugh. Uncontrollable, crazy laughter, and wipe at the tears that burn in the back of my eyes.
“You are fucked, you know that? Fucked.”
“Why did you leave, pretty girl?”
I step closer to him. “I chose to leave because loving you was making me become less and less like me.”
Marcus looks at me like he can’t believe the words that have left my mouth. I turn to Kat and see she’s up on her tippy toes as she whispers to Blaze. Blaze’s eyes go wide, and I reach for her. “We are leaving.”