I look at her in awe, but the moment is ruined when Lou-Lou snorts and makes a face at her.
Momma points the spatula in Alyssa's direction. “I knew I had a good feeling about her. She's right, baby. You cain't never could. Which is why I bought you a plane ticket. We leave in a few hours.” She pauses and looks at Ricardo. “Don't worry. He'll be back by Monday.” She grimaces. “And if he's a little late you tell that no good, son-of-a-bitch De—”
“That's great,” I say loudly, cutting Momma off before she says DeLuca's name. “I think you should go,” I tell Tyrone.
Momma smiles and Tyrone looks at me. “Yeah, alright. But you know what will happen if it doesn't work out, right?”
“Don't worry. I'll have a bottle of Jack Daniel's ready to go and a copy of Nelly's greatest hits in the CD player. Along with a few Hulk dvd's.”
He smiles and reaches over to give me a pound. “My man.”
Ricardo laughs. “You better lock that up quick, Alyssa. Looks like you might have some competition on your hands.”
She leans forward and crinkles her nose. “I'm not afraid of a little competition.” She hikes a thumb in Tyrone's direction. “However, I don't think I can possibly compare to this alpha male with his pretty piercing over here.”
The room erupts in laughter...with the exception of Lou-Lou who just crosses her arms and sucks her teeth.
“So,” Lou-Lou says while narrowing her eyes at Alyssa. “I take it you spent the night in Jackson's bed? Really giving it the old college try with him, huh? Tell me, how was it at NYU?”
Everyone goes silent and Alyssa blinks and looks down, shame all across her face.
I've never wanted to take my temper out on a woman before, until this moment. I absolutely hate that she just did that to her.
Alyssa glances in the direction of the door but I grip her hand under the table and glare at Lou-Lou. “At least she was actually invited to spend the night in my bed. Not just sniffing around me like some dog wanting to get their paws on some scraps.” My pupils constrict as I stare down at her. “And despite what you may think, staying up all night and having a meaningful conversation with someone you care about is so much better than being used for sex. But we all know you wouldn't know about that, Lou-Lou. Now would you?”
Momma claps her hands. “Okay. Who wants seconds?”
Alyssa looks up at me in wonder. “Me. I want more. I would love more.”
I search her eyes, feeling the impact of her words hit me right in the center of my chest. I bring her hand to my lips and kiss it. “Me too.”
I don't know what I'm doing, but I can't stop myself.
There are a million reasons why I shouldn't be pursuing this. Reasons like the fact that DeLuca basically owns my ass for the next 7 years. Reasons...like what he did to her.
There aren't enough words to express how I feel about what he took away from Alyssa.
Not to mention, the fact that I, myself am technically a murderer. And given her own past, I'm sure she won't be so understanding about that.
If I tell her, I could lose her.
And I think I might just be the one person in her life who would be good for her. I would never use her.
Which leads me to my next thought.
Something hasn't been sitting well with me since she told me about what happened to her father.
Her strange relationship with her dad's old partner, Ford.
I mean, what the hell was that in the interrogation room? That was the very definition of coercion if there ever was one. And on a 10-year-old? I get that he was trying to protect her, but there's a small part of me that feels like he was also out to save his own skin and maybe his intentions weren't as pure as she thinks they were.
However, I can't tell her that. When she talks about Ford, it's clear she still holds him in very high regard, even to this day- although she told me that he's no longer in her life.
And if I'm being honest with myself, I'm glad about that.
I've got all these reasons swirling around in my head, but through it all...one thought keeps breaking through the fog.
I want her.
My God, do I want her.
But, if I don't slow this thing down...I could lose her.
I meant what I said to her earlier. I don't want to be used by her...and I don't want to rock the boat and make things worse for her. I also don't want to stir things up with my own sexual desires.
I have to slow this down. I have to proceed with caution...not that I should even be proceeding at all. I let go of her hand and move my plate away. “But, I shouldn't. Sometimes too much, too fast can leave you in a lot of pain.”
She gives me an inquisitive look before holding her plate out to Momma. “Or sometimes you have to say to hell with it and indulge a little. You might miss out on a good thing and by the time you decide you want it, it's all gone.”
Tou-fucking-ché.
Momma fills up her plate with more food. “A girl after my own heart.” Her eyes land on Lou-Lou and her barely eaten food. “Men like a little something to hold onto. Can't be all skin and bones with no derriere.” She scans the room. “Ain't that right, boys?”
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Momma definitely likes Alyssa much more than she does Lou-Lou.
“Yes, Ma'am,” we all say in unison while Lou-Lou rolls her eyes and tosses her napkin in her dish.
“I just realized something,” Tyrone says in my direction. “If I hop on that plane...I'll miss your fight tomorrow night.”
“You have a fight tomorrow night?” Alyssa interjects.
I look down at my plate, hoping with everything that Alyssa doesn't want to come...because she won't like my response.
“Yeah.” I rub the back of my neck. “Tyrone. It's okay if you miss my fight. It's not a big deal. There will be others.”
Shit, I didn't mean for the last part of that sentence to come out so tense.
“I'll come,” Alyssa says, excitement in her tone. “Tomorrow is my birthday and I don't have any other plans. I'd love to watch.”
How the hell did I overlook that? Fucking hell.
Momma leaps up from the table. “Oh, sugar. I wish I would have known your birthday was tomorrow. I would have whipped you up something special.”
“You can't come,” I whisper.
Alyssa laughs and pats her tummy. “It's okay, Momma. This breakfast was more than enough.” She continues talking, obviously not hearing me. “So, do I need to purchase tickets for this thing, or what?”
“No, because you're not coming,” I grind out softly, hoping she hears me this time.
Momma looks contemplative. “No. I'll admit, I haven't seen many of their fights. I don't much care for the violence, but every time I've ever gone...I just show up with Ricardo and they let me right in the door.” She winks. “If that doesn't work, you can always tell them you're Jackson's girl. They'll let you right in.”
Motherfucking shit.
Alyssa looks at Ricardo. “Is it okay if I tag along with you?”
Ricardo opens his mouth to answer.
I slam my hand down on the table, startling everyone. “Goddammit, No. You're not coming to my fight! I don't want you there!”