I push past her. “I'm sorry about that, Lou-Lou. I really am. But, it still doesn't make it right.”
“I know, Jackson. Trust me, I know. That's why I came to apologize.”
“I can't forgive you,” I say and her lower lip trembles. “I'm not saying that I'll never forgive you...just not this second.”
She lifts her chin. “Okay. I can understand that.” She looks down and shrugs. “It's more than Ricardo's willing to give me.”
For a second, I feel bad. But then I remember what she did. I put on my shirt and head for the door. “Jackson,” she calls out.
I close my eyes and let out a deep sigh. “Yeah?”
“Word of advice? Since Alyssa and I are a lot alike.”
I turn around and face her again. “You're nothing alike. She's not—”
“Damaged?” Lou-Lou laughs. “Trust me, that girl is as broken as they come. It takes a damaged soul to know one. And just because she's trusting you enough to open up to you...it doesn't mean she's cured. It doesn't mean that her demons are gone. They're only temporarily camouflaged until something causes them to flare up again.” She points a finger at me. “Because let me tell you something about the broken people, Jackson. If you hurt us...we hurt deeper than others. If you hurt us...you drudge up every past hurt that we've ever experienced and send us into a tailspin right back down the rabbit hole.”
I open my mouth to say something but she cuts me off. “Whether you mean to hurt us or not. It doesn't matter, because once we're in that tailspin...how do you think we cope? What do you think our go-to is? It's a vicious cycle and we end up taking down a lot of good people with us. People like you, Jackson. So be careful.”
I slam the door behind me.
Lou-Lou's wrong. Alyssa's not like her. She's stronger than her fucked up past. And she's got me now to help her get through it.
I stop and pick up a bouquet of roses along the way to my apartment. It's not much, especially considering I'm still on the fence about giving her the other gift I have.
I've never really done the whole dating thing before. Between taking care of Lilly, and training at the gym...there never was much time for girls...just sex. I figured I'd settle down after I spent a few years as a professional MMA fighter, but well, clearly my life didn't go down that road.
I have no idea what to wear to this club. I looked at the flier she was talking about and it said costume optional but mask not.
Mask. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. The only time I wear a mask is at the bdsm club. The club where every sexual fantasy and carnal urge I have come to life. The place where I don't ask for control of my life, I take it.
Christ...there's no way I'll be able to keep my hands off her tonight. Especially since she's now become the object of every sexual fantasy I have lately.
I decide to go with a black button down and dark jeans. On the bright side, at least my opponent didn't hit my face.
There's a knock on the door and I look at my watch. Alyssa's right on time.
My brain short circuits when I open the door.
She's wearing a cropped black jacket and a short red dress that must be made out of silk because it looks as soft as her skin does. And don't even get me started on her legs. I don't know how a girl who's only 5'3 tops, has legs so shapely and long, but I'm not about to question God's beautiful creation. I'd rather just enjoy it and be thankful.
I force myself to stop staring at those legs, which are showcased by a pair of black heels that I'm secretly wishing were digging into my back as she screams my name.
“Are you okay, Jackson?” she asks, her expression puzzled.
No, I'm not okay. I'm not okay because I told her we could only be friends not even 48 hours ago and every second after that has only made me regret ever saying those words. But then I remind myself of my reasons.
I inwardly groan as I reach over and pick up the flowers and hand them to her.
Her eyes are bright and I see that dimple. “They're beautiful. Thank you so much.” She bites her lip. “But I can't take them to the club.” She pushes me aside and heads for the kitchen. “We have to put them in water or they'll die.” She looks around the kitchen, her expression concerned. “You don't have a vase.”
Shit, I didn't really think of that. This is a guy’s apartment. Of course, we don't have a vase lying around. I'm about to suggest she stick them in a bowl or something, but I hear another knock on the door.
“Here, take this,” Ricardo says, handing me a vase.
I raise an eyebrow. “You could probably give Ms. Cleo a run for her money. How did you know I'd need this?”
“Saw you walking up the stairs with flowers. Figured it would come in handy.” He grins. “Although I am surprised that you and Tyrone's bromance hasn't reached the level of flowers.”
“I wouldn't be one to talk, Ricardo,” I tease. “You're the one who just happened to have a vase.” I point across the hall. “Last time I checked, that was a one bedroom apartment. Tell me, what color flowers do you like to get yourself?”
He looks down. “It's not mine. I had it for...someone.”
Hmm, maybe him and Lou-Lou's relationship was more serious than I thought?
“Oh hey, Ricardo. Thanks,” Alyssa says while taking the vase.
Ricardo looks at her for a second too long before replying, “No problem. Wow, you look gorgeous.”
I fight the urge to slam the door in his face. But then I remind myself that he's my friend and it's not his fault he's got a pair of eyeballs.
She beams. “Thanks. It's my birthday. Jackson's taking me out to a club.”
Something flashes across his face. But before I can question it he says, “Well, I hope you have a good night. You really deserve to have a good birthday, Alyssa.”
She glances up at him and gives him a weird look, but then shakes her head. “Thanks, Ricardo. I'm um—” She pauses. “I'm gonna go put my flowers in water.”
“Have a good night,” Ricardo says in my direction before he walks across the hall to his own apartment.
What the heck just happened?
I follow Alyssa into the kitchen where I find her filling the vase with water as she mumbles something under her breath. I put my hands on either side of the sink, caging her in. “Everything okay, Damsel?”
She spins around and looks up at me. I didn't mean to end up so close to her, but like a moth to a fucking flame...here I am.
She waves a hand. “Yeah. I'm fine. The flowers really are beautiful by the way. I love them.”
“Good. Makes me feel better about the other thing I got you.”
“What thing?”
I back away, feeling like an idiot now for even bringing it up. “It's nothing, Alyssa. Really. I shouldn't have mentioned it.”
She makes a face. “It's not nothing.” She puts out her hand and pouts. “Now give it to me.”
I pull the jewelry box out and place it in her hand. Hoping like hell it won't ruin the night. I didn't intend on getting her jewelry—but it occurred to me that I've never seen her wear the necklace she told me about. I can only assume that she must have lost it.