This action only further confirms my suspicions regarding his intentions with me.
I kick my feet up and try to kick out the windshield. He sighs and says, “Please, sit still. I know you know about my involvement with DeLuca. But there are some things that you don't know and I would like to explain them to you. Will you let me do that?”
I ignore him and kick the windshield again, until his hand slams down on my thigh and he gets close to my face. “I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to kill you. But I swear on all that is holy, if you don't cut this shit out, I will throw your ass in the goddamned trunk, Alyssa.”
At this, I finally stop kicking and relax in my seat.
He starts the car but points a finger at me. “I'm warning you right now, do not try and do something that will run us off the road.”
I want to tell him that since it's New York City, there really would be no point. At most, we'll be going 20 miles per hour before he has to slam on the breaks again. He should worry much more about me making a run for it during one of those stops.
Provided I ever get this duct tape off that is.
He starts driving in the direction of his apartment complex, which throws me for a loop. Doesn't he know that Momma could walk in at any time? Last time I checked, it's bad to have a witness when you commit a murder. It's just one more loose end that you'll be forced to take care of.
Oh god. Would Jackson actually kill Momma?
When we reach his apartment, he pulls in the back and parks in a hidden spot I've never seen before. All I can think is. This is where he's going to do it.
But to my surprise, he gets out of the car and opens my door. My eyes dart around contemplating where I can run to, but he anticipates this because he picks me up and it's back over his shoulder I go.
On the bright side, at least the surveillance footage will catch him carrying me into his apartment building like this.
My murder will be solved. I'll get my lifetime wish and be headlining the 6'o'clock news after all.
I lift my head as we begin walking and spot Lou-Lou's car parked across the street. Since her windows are tinted, I can't see them...but I definitely hear all sorts of shouting.
The door to the complex shuts behind us and Jackson begins making his way up the staircase.
When we get inside his apartment he heads for the kitchen and sits me on a stool by the counter. He cracks his knuckles and rolls his neck. I can't help but stare at him, that is totally a mob guy move. He notices my face and pinches the bridge of his nose before reaching for the tape across my mouth and tearing it off.
I don't waste the opportunity, I start screaming my head off. Mariah Carey has nothing on my vocal chords right now.
Jackson grunts and covers my mouth with tape again. “Fine, I guess I'll go first,” he says. “First of all, I love you—despite how batshit crazy you're acting right now. Secondly, I would never hurt you or kill you. It kills me that you would ever think that. And lastly, yes I do technically work for DeLuca, but it's not because I want to...got it?”
I shrug because I'm not really sure what he means by that. New York is an 'at will' state, if you don't want to work for someone you don't. Not that the mob really adheres to bylaws and regulations, but still. If Jackson didn't want to work for him, he wouldn't. Besides, why would DeLuca want to keep an employee on the payroll that didn't even want to work for him in the first place? That's just bad business.
Unless DeLuca is holding something over his head? But what the hell could DeLuca use for leverage?
Jackson begins pacing the floors. “Every single thing I told you about me is the truth, Alyssa. I know a small part of you has to know that. I mean, I put it all on video tape for you for crying out loud. You think I would confess to a murder that I didn't commit?”
He has a point, I guess.
I shake my head and he walks back over to me and removes the tape. “Don't scream. Just let me explain. Okay?”
I nod my head because maybe things aren't what they seem after all.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Jackson
I've thought about having Alyssa bound and gagged quite a lot since I first met her.
I just never thought I'd be partaking in it to get her to stop screaming such god awful, vile things to me in the middle of a parking garage.
And the fact that she actually thinks I would hurt her? Or worse, kill her?
I just don't have the words to express what that does to me.
I wanted to bash my own head through a wall right after I saw what Ricardo and I did to her when she jumped in the middle of our fight. I've never felt like such an asshole but I didn't even see her. Hell, I didn't even know she was standing in the room because I was too worked up about Ricardo and his possible involvement.
And of course, the fact that my best friend was in the middle of surgery and the doctors had just told us there was a chance he wouldn't make it.
Then that shit happened.
Then she looked at me the way she did.
I figured she just needed space because of what happened but when I came back, she was different.
I saw her talking with Shelby and then she just collapsed.
I thought she was having a reoccurring symptom due to still being sick. Then she walked over to Lou-Lou and held her hand. Fucking Lou-Lou, the girl she basically hates. She'd rather hold her hand than mine while I'm going through all this shit.
I knew something wasn't right.
And when she gave me a different look—a look that could have killed me dead right where I stood and threatened to have me hauled off to jail over an accident...I knew I was fucked.
I knew that somehow...she had figured out the truth.
Then I heard the news about Tyrone and although I'm beyond relieved that he's alive...I know that when he wakes up and processes everything, he's going to be inconsolable. I'm inconsolable for him but I'll be there for him and whatever he needs.
The last thing I wanted to do was have it out with Alyssa, I wanted to stay by my best friend's side. Momma told me to go and said he'd probably be out of it until sometime tomorrow, but I still wanted to stay.
Then Alyssa mentioned going back to her own apartment and I knew this shit had to be dealt with tonight. She wasn't cutting me any kind of slack and I sure as hell wasn't losing her without a fight.
However, when she said those things to me in the parking garage? Spewing such hurtful things, things like I was the one who killed Lilly and she wanted to know where I buried her body. That was the closest I'd ever come to wanting to hit a female.
I settled for throwing her in the passenger seat and covering her vicious mouth with duct tape, instead.
Since she had no choice but to remain silent throughout the drive, I took the opportunity to put myself in her place.
That only made me feel like a shithead. Of course, she would think I was setting her up, regardless of the fact that she was the one who walked into his club. The fact is, DeLuca's been the metaphorical boogie man to her ever since she was a child. She knows first-hand what he's capable of.
No wonder she didn't push further after I said it wasn't his club. She completely dropped it and never asked me again. A part of me thinks that she didn't want it to be his club, because he scares the absolute shit out of her, with good reason. I can't help but think that if she knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was his club, then a big part of her would feel like she'd have no choice but to avenge her father's death...even if it ended up in her murder.