Which let's face it...it most definitely would.
That's one hell of a demand to put on yourself, especially after going through everything that she already has. Not to mention Ford's own method of brainwashing that he did.
She was probably relieved when I told her that DeLuca wasn't the owner. Grateful that she had a few more minutes on the clock before her time was up.
Putting myself in her place puts it into perspective for me.
She's still trembling and I wish that I could hold her, but I know she needs to hear about my involvement with DeLuca before she'll let that happen.
If she'll ever let that happen.
“Everything I told you about Lilly is the truth. With the exception of me getting off on self-defense.” She looks confused so I continue, “I was going down for both Mike and Lilly's murder,” I say as her eyes open wide.
Maybe now she'll realize how much those things she said hurt me. “I didn't kill Lilly, Alyssa.”
“I know,” she whispers. “I know that now. I just don't know why you would lie to me, Jackson. I loved you. I trusted you. Why would you set me up?”
Her voice is so small and broken my chest squeezes.
“I'm not setting you up, baby. I would never do that to you.”
“Tell me why you're working for him then. Tell me why you're continuing to work for him after you know what he did to me.”
“Because he's the reason I'm out of jail.”
“How?”
“He was my deliverance. He paid off the judge, planted evidence to ensure that I'd walk, and hired the best defense attorney on the East Coast. Hell, DeLuca did such a good job it didn't even make it to trial.”
“What was the catch?”
“The catch is that I figured out that the devil doesn't offer you deal's, Alyssa. He only offers you an arrangement with a steep pay off. And he prefers his payment in blood.”
She looks down and shivers. “Well, you know what they say—the devil was once an angel.”
“I don't think this one ever was.”
“What arrangement did you make with him?”
Time to tell her everything.
“Ten years in his underground fight club. Which is a load of bull if you ask me, because I've seen law enforcement officials there before. Hell, they place some of the highest bets. Anyway, the terms were one fight every two weeks, to ensure I could recover from any potential injuries.”
I grab a stool to sit down on. “I'd be appointed a coach to ensure I never skipped town and to keep me on a leash.”
“Ricardo,” she whispers.
I nod. “Yup. I'd also have to win at least 99% of my fights.”
Her mouth hangs open. “That's impossible. No one's that good.”
“You are if it's your life on the line.”
“You can't be that good for 10 years straight Jackson! Your body will start to deteriorate, it will break down from all the constant wear and tear. There's no way you can stay number one for 10 years straight. I've seen the guys you're up against, they're nothing but freak shows on steroids ”
Her lower lip trembles and I can see the tears in her eyes. “Oh, god. DeLuca knows this. He knows that you'll most likely die in the cage before your contract is up. Hell, he'll probably make sure that it happens.”
“Yeah, that's pretty much what happens. The only one who's ever made it through his 10 years alive is Ricardo. The reason Tyrone and I are the best right now is because there's no one else to compare us to. For the most part, guys usually die in the cage around the first year. If he senses you're weak, then he matches you up with an opponent he knows you can't take. If you prove to be worthy, well, then you usually get the honor of dying in the cage around the 7th or 8th year. DeLuca likes to up the stakes by then. Trust me, it's some real fucked up shit.”
I look up to the ceiling because I can't look at her when I say this. “And by your 7th or 8th year, it's probably bittersweet because you're so close to being out. You can taste it. But, at the same time, the mentality of being nothing but a machine has gotten to you, so unless you have something on the outside that grounds you, something to go back to...there's really no point in fighting anymore. Sometimes I think the guys don't make it because they just give up. They get tired of feeling the pain that fuels them to survive. I know I am.”
“Lilly's murder is how you survive, isn't it? That's the source of all your pain.”
“I have to relive every second of it every time I'm in that cage. It's the only way.”
I want to tell her that she was the one who grounded me, who made it better for me, and that she was my something to look forward to, but there's something more important that she needs to hear.
“I wanted to protect you, that's why I didn't tell you about DeLuca. I tried to let you go a few times, but I couldn't do it. I need you like I need my pain to win my fights.”
“What are we gonna do, Jackson?” A single tear falls down her cheek. “How do we make it through this?”
I don't answer her, instead, I tear the tape off her wrists and hold her in my arms. She buries her face into my chest and sobs her heart out.
“I agree with Ricardo. Don't go after DeLuca. It's too risky and you'll end up dead. We'll have to find another way. There has to be another way. I can't and I won't lose another man that I love to him.”
I stay silent because there is another way; the only way to stop him. I could care less about my own life, but I'm not letting him take hers.
She tilts her head up and I don't even hesitate to crush her mouth against mine.
There are so many emotions filtering the energy running through us, there's only one way to exert it right now.
I lift her up, place her on the counter and she wraps her legs around my waist. I wish I could be more gentle with her given the fact that I know she's probably feeling sore from what happened earlier, but when she sits up, takes off my shirt and scratches her nails down my back, I lose my composure.
I suck and bite on that plump bottom lip of hers, groaning when I taste the hint of copper because it reminds me that she's alive, that she’s safe, and that she’s here with me.
I make quick work of unbuttoning of her jeans and pulling them off. Her panties are next and I shred the delicate lace like it's paper while she lifts her t-shirt over her head.
The both of us are so worked up there's no need for foreplay, my own jeans fall at my feet and I'm entering her in a single thrust, pumping into her slickness like it's my salvation, because I know she is.
She falls back and I position her legs on my shoulders so I can get even deeper inside her. I'm so lost in her essence, there are no words. The only sounds are the moans of pleasure and the sounds of our frantic, hot-blooded bodies coming together.
After a moment, she begins to spasm and cries out my name like a lifeline. Her pussy grips me so hard it almost hurts as her come drips down my balls. Before I can stop myself, I'm quickly following her into the pits of euphoria and purging my own release deep inside of her.
I fall on top of her, loving the feeling of her body underneath me, where I can shelter her and see the rise and fall of her chest with every breath she takes.