I may be cruel and unforgiving, but I’m right. I’m always right.
Chapter Nine
Addison
The night Tyler died, I saw it all happen.
I was there and I heard the tires squeal.
At the memory, I can practically feel the cold raindrops from that night pelting my skin. I turn on the faucet to the hottest it can go and wait until steam fills the room. I step into the shower, ignoring how the sounds of water falling are so similar to the rain that night as I stood outside the corner store. He called my name. My eyes close and my throat feels tight as I hear Tyler’s voice.
The last thing he said was my name as he stepped into the street.
It takes a lot to leave someone because you fell in love with somebody else. Somebody who would never love you back.
It takes even more of your heart to witness the death of someone who truly deserved to live. More than I’ll ever deserve it.
And to know that they died because they were looking for you …
God and fate are not kind or just. They take without reason. And the world is at a loss for Tyler being taken from us.
I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving Tyler. I didn’t know he’d come looking for me. If I could take it back, I would.
The water hits my face and I pretend like the tears aren’t there. It’s easier to cry in the shower.
I was fine until I saw Daniel again. It took me years to feel just okay. That’s the part I can’t get over. Maybe this is what a relapse is? One moment and I’ve lost all the strength I’ve gained over the years. All of the acceptance that I can’t change what happened and that it’ll be okay. It’s all gone in an instant.
I lean my back against the cold tile wall and sink to the floor. The smooth granite feels hard against my back as I sit there, letting the water crash down on me as I remember that night over and over. Just a few moments in particular. The moment Tyler saw me, then the moment he spoke my name and moved toward me.
The moment I screamed at the sight of him stepping into the road.
The car was right there. There was no time.
It didn’t matter how I threw myself forward, racing toward him even as the car struck him.
I swear I acted as fast as I could. But it wasn’t good enough.
My head rests on my knees as my shoulders shake.
Life wasn’t supposed to be so cruel. Not to him.
“Deep breaths,” I tell myself. “One at a time,” I say, brushing at my eyes even though the water is still splashing down.
Standing up makes me feel weak. The water’s colder, but the air is still hot.
Just breathe.
As I open up the shower door to inhale some cool air, I hear something. My heart stops and my body freezes. The water’s still on but my eyes stare at the bathroom door.
The mirrors are fogged even though I left the door open slightly. A second passes and then another.
My body refuses to move even after I will myself to reach for the towel. My knuckles turn white and keep me where I am. I know I heard something. Something fell. Or something was pushed. Something beyond the door. Something. I don’t know what, but I heard something.
I force myself to take one step onto the bath mat, and then another onto the tile floor.
I keep moving. I take the towel in both hands and then wrap it around myself although I can’t take my eyes off the door.
Water drips down my back, but I don’t bother with drying my hair. I make myself open the door and it groans in protest as I do.
The second it’s open wide, I feel foolish.
It’s only a picture I’d put up with hanging tape strips. It’s fallen and the paint on the wall where it was hung, a Tiffany blue, is marred.
I should have used nails or screws to hang it.
Even as I pick up the picture and roll my eyes, my body is still tense; my heart still races. The frame is cracked and broken. When I place it onto the dresser, I catch a glimpse of the piece of paper Daniel gave me. It’s a ripped portion of something—maybe a bill, I’m not sure. But on it is his number. The number I texted so he would have mine and to ask when we could meet. The number that didn’t answer, even though the message was marked as read.
I leave the paper there with the broken frame and head back to the bathroom to finally turn off the water. But I stop just shy of entering.
Peeking at the door to my bedroom, a chill travels down my spine.
I don’t remember leaving it open.
Chapter Ten
Daniel
I would say I don’t have time for this shit, but I do. I really do.
I would make time for it if I didn’t already have it in spades.
I’m cradling my chin while I drum the fingers of my other hand in a rhythmic pattern on the sleek mahogany tabletop. The soft sound doesn’t even reach my ears, mixing with the chatter and hum of small talk and the clinking of silverware in the restaurant.
The Madison Grille has gotten a facelift recently. It’s obvious. From the new wood beams that make the place smell like cedar, to the industrial lighting with exposed bulbs. I deliberately chose a place that wasn’t too expensive or elegant so this wouldn’t seem like a date. But it’s better than a bar. There’s privacy here that I’m eager to take advantage of. I waited to message her until only hours ago. Last night took a lot out of me, but once I decided, there was no turning back.
“Would you like anything while you wait?” The waiter already has his pad out and pen ready to go. There are a lot of things I’d like right now. Addison bent over the table, for one. Simply for inviting me back into her life. She may not know how much she taunted me, but she’s smart enough to know the attraction was there and still she teased me.
“A whiskey sour and two waters,” I tell him and he waits for more, but a tight smile sends him away.
Again my fingers drum as I think about each and every curve of the woman I’m waiting for.
Addison is all grown up.
And that look in her eyes is one I recognize. Desire. My blood feels hotter with every second I sit here thinking about what I wanted to do last night. And what I plan to do tonight.
I can imagine those pouty lips of hers wrapping around my cock and the sounds she’d make as I shoved my dick down her throat.
If nothing else, I can finally get a piece of what I wanted when I first laid eyes on her. Just the thought makes my dick harden and I stifle back a groan as the zipper of my jeans digs into me.
It took everything in me not to take her last night.
When she looked at me like she could see right through me.
When she told me to stop, as if she could command me.
When she spilled her little heart out as if I was the one meant for those words.
I’ll be damn sure to make the time for Addison. Finally having her is worth all the fucking time in the world.
Sheets of rain batter against the large front window of this place and crash noisily on the tin roof.
I hate the rain. I hate what it does to me. The memories it brings back.
Addison is out there in the rain right now. Feeling it beat against her skin. Listening to the familiar sound.
And the unwanted memories that come with it.
I should feel a good number of things with the memory of Tyler besetting me right now as I wait for Addison. Shame, maybe even disgust. Swallowing thickly, I replay the memories, but this time focus on her. How she looked at me and shied away. How she couldn’t talk to me while looking me in the eyes. How she blushed every time she caught me staring. Her reaction to me and only me was everything.