I shake my head in amused irritation. The kid has that star quality, I’ll give him that.
“You nearly killed him.” Seth chuckles under his breath as he checks something on his infamous clipboard.
I’m more of a digital planner, using an app on my phone that was developed to train athletes. But Seth chooses to go the old-school route, with an actual clipboard and printer paper.
“He deserved it, little punk.” I grab my water bottle and chug some down.
Ever since I hit twenty-six weeks, it’s like my throat is the Sahara desert. I can’t drink enough water fast enough, and I’m also rubbing the bottom of my belly constantly. The pelvic pain is intense. Sometimes the baby kicks me right in the vagina, which I didn’t know was a thing. I’d be furious if it wasn’t the little human who already held my heart in his hands.
“Is it too much?” Seth points the capped end of his pen at my belly. “You tell me if you need to ease up.”
I rub the spot where baby boy just kicked me, and the skin is currently burning from the inside out. “No, I’m good.”
Although, I’m kind of not. I’m getting more and more tired, and my ab muscles are barely there, which causes for a lot of pain by the end of a long day of training sessions. I find myself getting dizzy at times and needing to excuse myself to sit in the office where no one can watch me catch my breath.
I’m not about to admit that, though. This is my big break, one that will soon be derailed because I’m going to have a baby that I never expected to have. Thankfully, most of my maternity leave will fall in the off-season, so I won’t miss as much as I typically would. But I am still miffed by it. I hate that I feel this way, that I’m annoyed at bringing a child into the world in this season of life. But I’ve been waiting years to be promoted to the big time, and now it’ll be put on pause again.
I’m not about to hit that button before I absolutely have to. I’ll suffer through these last hard stages of pregnancy in silence so that I can show this organization just how stellar and necessary it is to have me on their strength staff.
“Have you been able to meet many of the Callahans?” Seth asks, somewhat out of the blue.
My palms spark, turning sweaty as anxiety claws at the base of my throat. Does he know? Do other people on the staff know? Why else would he be asking? Maybe I’m just being paranoid.
“I have. Colleen Callahan is the one who hired me and promoted me back in Fort Myers. I’ve done workouts with Walker and had passing conversations with some of the other family members. They seem like a very dedicated bunch. Obviously, with all the work they’ve put into the team. And how they recovered after …”
I trail off because I’m sure Seth was here when everything happened with Jimmy Callahan. He would have been one of the coaches affected by the shakeup. We were all so scared in Florida, about what it meant for our jobs and the club. I can’t imagine what the staff here would have felt like.
“It was a dark time. Very dark. There was a lot of distrust and animosity, a lot of people who thought they’d be getting turned out on their asses. But Colleen and Daniel, have done a very good job of bringing it all back around.”
Seth looks like he’s pondering, thinking about what that time was like when the media and analysts were calling the Pistons corrupt.
A beat of silence.
“He’s the father, isn’t he?”
So, no, I apparently wasn’t paranoid enough. Should I act like I have no idea what he’s talking about? No, that would make us both look stupid. And I’m over the dishonesty of it all. It’s not anyone’s business, though that won’t stop the rumors. I’m not naive enough to think that. None of them will know the whole story, though. I won’t tell it, and I’m sure Sinclair won’t either.
“He is.” I nod once and don’t meet my boss’s eyes.
We both know we’re talking about Sinclair.
“I apologize if what I said the other week—”
I shake my head, giving him a small smile. “Seth, you didn’t offend me. A good portion of what you said is true. Or was true. You don’t need to worry about that.”
He’s talking about the day he warned me off of Sinclair.
He seems to breathe a sigh of relief. “Good. The only thing I was worried about was making you feel uncomfortable. I felt like I shot myself in the foot and didn’t even realize what I said to you. To be completely transparent, I just hope you’re walking into this with clear eyes. I like working with you, you’ve become a valued member of my staff already. I’ve seen how great of a job he’s doing this season, but I’ve seen … I’ve seen some things over the years, Frankie. Outside of being my employee, I do care for you as a person. I care that the little boy you’re going to have gets the best treatment and care. I’ve seen that man wasted out of his mind, accosting people. Strangers. I’ve watched him make an utter fool of himself. Maybe I don’t know Sinclair well anymore, but … just, be careful.”
Those words echo around my heart, puncturing the good graces Sinclair seemed to have worked himself back into. We’ve been so good this past month. It’s almost been like before, back in Florida, but without the sex. Our chemistry is off the charts; there are endless topics for us to talk about. He’s been so good in helping get ready for the baby, and we’ve even gone to dinner with his family and friends at Hudson’s. He’s coming to my doctor’s appointment next week, and I’ve been keeping tabs on how hard he’s working within the Pistons organization. Seth knew him before he got sober, so he has preconceived notions. But from everything I’ve been witnessing, Sinclair is a good man. He’s the perfect man to go on this journey of parenthood with.
I feel Sin watching me—all the time. Not in a creepy way, but in the way that he wants to say more than he’s saying. He wants to be more. I know he does; I feel his hesitation whenever we part, like he’s going to come right out with it. Sinclair is being cautious with my heart, and I guess I have to appreciate that with how horribly he lied to me in Fort Myers.
But I’m also not sure, I’m not ready. My heart was broken when he left spring training. It cracked in two when I found out who he truly is, how he deceived me. Now, we’re bringing a child into the equation. Our top priority should be him. What if I give in? What if I allow myself to fall for him again? What if he damages that love even more than he did the first time? I’ll have to see him each day, to break apart in silence as I plan my child’s life with his father. I’ll have to watch him move on with someone else.
The thoughts that invade my brain whenever I think about giving Sinclair a second chance are unbearable. So I go on pretending I don’t notice the deep, deep connection that still exists between us.
“So, um, does the whole building know?” I ask, bracing for the answer.
My boss gives me a look that answers my question before he speaks. “It’s pretty much the worst kept secret around here. Everyone wants to know how the two of you, well …”
I blow out a breath. Didn’t I know this wouldn’t stay under wraps forever? What did I think was going to happen when the staff and players began to see Sinclair picking up our son or walking around the park with him?