“It’s okay. We can still dispose of all the discs.”
I shook my head. “We’ll take it with us to him today. I want him to watch it, even if I can’t do it.”
“All right,” Adamo said simply. I kissed him before I scooted to the edge of the bed.
“Let’s go now.” I needed to move before I lost courage. Locked into this motel room I felt like a caged animal.
Adamo didn’t hesitate. He stuffed the disc and the laptop into a bag before he followed me. He’d asked if I wanted him to pack material for torture but I had said no. Killing another person would be challenge enough. Torture was out of the question, even if every single of my abusers deserved it. I wanted them dead. That would be enough.
Adamo parked at the curb across from the hardware store where the guy worked and also lived in a backroom. It was already late in the afternoon and the shop was supposed to close in half an hour. We didn’t talk as we sat together in the car. Adamo had grabbed a bag with donuts but I couldn’t force more than a bite past my corded-up throat. My heart hadn’t stopped pounding since we’d watched the first few minutes of the video. I felt as if I were the prey and not the hunter.
My hands were clammy, and I was glad for Adamo at my side because he looked remarkably calm.
“It’s time,” he said eventually, and I realized that almost thirty minutes had passed without me realizing it. “He’ll close the shop any minute now.”
“Okay,” I croaked.
Adamo grabbed my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. “We should go now so we can slip in as last-minute customers. Breaking in poses the risk of alerting the police. This isn’t Las Vegas, we don’t have every police officer on our payroll.”
I swallowed and nodded, but I couldn’t move. Tears of anger at myself welled up and I blinked them back. “I—”
“I’ll go alone and kill him for you, unless you don’t want me to do it?”
I wanted my abuser dead, I wanted to do it myself, but maybe I was too weak to do it. I gave the tiniest nod, even as I hated myself for it. Adamo gave me a kiss and got out of the car before he grabbed the bag from the trunk. He jogged over to the hardware store and not a minute too soon. A guy had appeared at the door to turn the sign to closed. Adamo flashed him a charming smile and was allowed inside. Both men disappeared from my view and soon after Adamo hung up the closed sign before he headed back out of sight again.
I glared down at my hands, furious at myself for allowing someone else to dish out my revenge.
I’d seen Dinara’s inner struggle in her eyes and wasn’t surprised that she couldn’t go through with our plan. I’d expected her to lose courage. It was one thing to wish for revenge, to imagine killing someone, but it was a whole different matter to actually go through with it, to see the life drain from someone’s eyes. Even if Dinara was a Bratva princess, she’d never been part of the brutal sides of business. Her father had protected her from it, the same way I would protect her if she wanted me to. Killing someone got easier with time. In the beginning it had been harder for me more than it was now.
As I closed the door of the hardware store behind me and watched the bastards unsuspecting smile, eagerness took hold of me. Dishing out revenge on Dinara’s behalf wasn’t a burden. It would be satisfying in so many ways. Maybe I could even keep pretending that I wasn’t enjoying it.
I turned the lock and then gave number one, the first name on our list, a dark smile.
His expression fell, fear flaring up in his eyes. Maybe he thought this was a robbery. He wouldn’t be that lucky. He was older than on the videos but it was him, no doubt. Even if Remo hadn’t provided me with the whereabouts of our targets, I would have recognized the man before me. The mousy face, the same unshaven appearance. He stumbled backward toward his sales counter, probably to ring an alarm. I chased after him, grabbed his arm and jerked him to the floor. He lost his balance and fell to the floor with a cry of pain. His wide blue eyes met mine. “I don’t have much money! You can have it all.”
“This isn’t about money,” I said as I circled him. I shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as I did. I’d always resented Remo for playing with his victims.
Confusion flickered in the man’s eyes. I pulled my gun and the color drained from his face. I calmly walked back to the shop door and turned the sign to “closed” before I returned to number one. Following Dinara’s request I hadn’t packed any torture instruments, but a hardware store was the land of milk and honey for someone like me.
“I hear you like little girls.”
He looked caught before he quickly shook his head. “That was a long time ago. I changed. I paid for what I did.”
I took out the laptop and showed him the first image of Dinara on the bed.
“You sure as hell didn’t pay for what you did to her.”
Horror entered the man’s eyes. Being confronted with your own depravity must have stung.
“But you will,” I promised. “This girl on the screen. Her name is Dinara and she wants you to die. She doesn’t want me to torture you but maybe I’ll do it just for myself.”
I had dreamed about it last night.
A knock sent a wave of tension through my body.
The man cried out, “Help! Call the police!”
I kicked his right side, on level of his kidney and liver, silencing him effectively as he gasped for breath. When I spotted Dinara at the door, I relaxed and went over to her. I unlocked the door and let her in. A brief glance down the street told me that nobody had noticed anything yet.
She stepped in hesitantly, still a spooked look on her face. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea that she was here. It was fucking selfish, but I was worried she’d change her mind and spare the asshole.
Her eyes moved past me to the man on the floor who was holding his side, crying. His teary gaze settled on her. “Please help me.”
Slowly Dinara moved toward him and stopped right over him. “Do you remember my face?” she whispered.
The man shook his head frantically.
“That’s funny because I see your face and every revolting inch of your body every night when I close my eyes,” Dinara said, her voice cracking.
“I’m sorry! I swear. I changed. I was a bad person back then, but I don’t do this anymore. I paid for my sins. I was in jail.”
“For hurting other girls like me,” Dinara said. “Girls whose nights will forever be haunted by nightmares.”
I stepped up beside her, touched her shoulder to show her my support. She trembled under my touch.
“Please don’t kill me. Don’t I deserve a second chance?”
I gritted my teeth, wanting nothing more than to smash his face so he’d shut up. I could see the hesitation in Dinara’s face. It took all of my control not to try to talk her into killing him. This was her decision. I had no right to force her in a certain direction only because I was a twisted fuck who wanted to torture and kill the guy before me.
Dinara tore her eyes away from the man. “Do you think he says the truth? Do you think he changed?”
“I doubt it,” I said. “Do you want me to search his living quarters? Maybe we can find something.”