“A blast,” she said with a strange smile. “Sounds like something I don’t want to miss.”
“It starts right before sunset.”
It was strange not being closer to her, not touching her, but Dinara still leaned back on her hood and didn’t make a move to seek my closeness. If she still needed room to process everything, I’d give it to her. “I’ll be there.”
I nodded, resisting the urge to rip away her sunglasses to see the look in her eyes. Instead I backed off and returned to Crank. “Trouble in paradise?” he asked when I helped him fire up one of the barbecues he’d built out of an old steal wine barrel.
“Dinara and I enjoy space apart on occasion. We aren’t attached by the hip.”
“If you say so,” Crank said. That was the problem living in camp.
Shortly before sunset, every member of the camp, including pit girls and other women the racers had found in nearby bars had gathered for the party. Flames from the firepit in the center snaked up into the sky and illuminated the night and filled our bodies with warmth. The scent of barbecued meat and marihuana hung heavily in the air. A spicy concoction that made you feel high without a single taste or drag.
I stood at one of the barbecues, turning ribs to keep me busy as I scanned the crowd. Thanks to the barbecues and firepit, the air was still hot and many party guests danced half-naked. None of the girls wore more than a bikini top and hotpants, and even most guys had discarded their shirts by now. I was one of them but so close to the barbecue, a fine sheen of sweat covered my chest despite my lack of clothes.
I froze when I finally discovered Dinara. I’d been looking for her since the start of the party but either she’d hidden in the crowd so far or she joined the party only now. The sun was starting to disappear behind the horizon. I shoved the barbecue tongs at Crank and left my spot at the barbecue to get a closer look at Dinara. The sight was too beautiful to miss.
She danced barefoot under the sinking sun, her red hair aflame in the dimming glow. She was beautifully imperfect—imperfectly beautiful. She was laughter and lightness and happiness.
Our eyes met and for a second she seemed to still, a slight hitch in her charade, then she threw her head back and laughed. She started spinning around herself until she lost her balance and stumbled toward me. She collided with my chest hard, still giggling. Her eyes glowed with forced happiness. No one saw the darkness lingering just beneath.
“Fake it till you make it,” she breathed then crashed her lips against mine. Kissing, we tumbled to the ground under the cheers of the crowd. I rolled onto my back, taking her with me. She straddled my hips and let out a battle cry.
I smiled.
Fake it till you make it. I could do that for her, if this was what she needed to get past her demons, past her despair. Her breath smelled of alcohol and marihuana, but she wasn’t drunk or high enough to explain her sudden cheer. She wanted to forget, to be happy and she was determined to force it.
The crowd began to dance in a circle around us and Dinara leaned down again for a lingering kiss. She was usually less open with public displays of affection, but I took her up without hesitation and kissed her back, wanting everyone to see that she was mine—now and for however long she let me.
“Dance with me. Help me forget tonight,” she rasped, her eyes almost feverish with despair. “Let’s just be us tonight. Not anyone’s daughter or brother. Let’s be in the moment. No past, no future.”
I clapped her ass in response, causing the crowd to roar with delight. Dinara’s eyes flashed with indignation, then eagerness. I grabbed her hips and sat up. “Just us.” I kissed her harshly before I nodded at one of the female dancers. She grabbed Dinara and pulled her into the dancing circle. I jumped to my feet and joined them. We danced until our feet hurt, until our surroundings became blurry from alcohol and the joints that were passed along.
Dinara never strayed from my side, our bodies molded together as we danced to the beat. Feeling her body pressed up against mine and seeing the fire in her eyes, desire for her flamed up in me and soon my cock dug against her belly. Her eyes lit up with lust. I leaned down, kissing her ear. “I need to fuck you now, Dinara.”
“Then fuck me,” she said. I lifted her off the ground and her legs wrapped around my hips as I carried her away from the party. Hiding wasn’t an option anymore. Everyone knew about us by now, and I wanted them to know. I wanted the whole fucking world to know about Dinara and me, even the Bratva and her murderous father.
The next afternoon, Crank approached me as I was on my way to take a shower. My head was throbbing with a headache. Dinara and I had kept each other awake until the early morning, and even returned to the party in between our alone times. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d been this shitfaced. The last thing I wanted was to talk to anyone, especially because Crank’s expression told me I wouldn’t like what he’d have to say. “Trouble?” I asked, waiting on the first step to the washroom trailer for him.
He grimaced. “I heard that Dinara asked around for drugs, Adamo.”
My eyes darted across the camp toward my car and the tent where Dinara and I had spent the night. I didn’t see her anywhere so she was probably still asleep. “What kind of drugs?”
“She wasn’t picky. But cocaine or heroin were her preferred choices.”
I nodded slowly. There wasn’t a rule against drugs during the races. Several racers were loyal customers of the Camorra’s drug dealers, mostly ecstasy and LSD though. And I knew that many people had been high on more than weed last night. I didn’t get involved in this side of our business. It was too risky for me to be around harder drugs, even if I’d been clean for many years. I’d learned not to trust easily, least of all myself.
“I thought you might want to know,” Crank said.
“Did anyone sell her shit?” I growled.
Crank gave me a crooked smile. “Nobody dared to do it before asking you for permission, seeing as she’s your girl.”
I didn’t contradict him, even if Dinara probably hated being branded as mine—or anyone’s for that matter. “Good. I’ll go talk to them to make sure they keep their drugs under wraps.”
After a quick shower, I went to one of the racers who also worked as our drug distributor and told him to make sure no one in Camorra territory dared to sell anything to Dinara. Word would spread soon. She was mine and whoever dared to provide her with stuff would pay with blood.
I headed back to my tent but Dinara had disappeared so I went in search of her and eventually found her at her Toyota.
She leaned under the open hood of her car, tinkering with the engine. Her long legs peeked out of her jean shorts and the soft bumps of her spine invited my tongue to trace them, but I held back my need to be close to her. We had issues to discuss first. Noticing me, she straightened and narrowed her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
I leaned against the car, trying to stifle my annoyance. She acted as if last night hadn’t happened and was back to her distant self. But the paleness of her skin and the way she squinted into the light revealed the truth of last night’s revelry. “This is my race, and people tell me things. Nobody deals with drugs unless they have the okay from the Camorra.”