I pushed Bubba from my mind, and everything else not science related. But when I finally couldn’t ignore my stomach begging me for food any longer and stopped around 7 p.m., I found two messages from Bubba on my phone.
He’d gotten an A minus on an exam. Excellent. I smiled as I listened to the happiness in his voice. In the second message, he told me he was coming back to campus, that he wanted to talk to me, and he asked me not to call Phil.
Phil? Who on earth was Phil? For a moment, I thought Bubba had misdialed and left a message for the wrong person. Then I remembered. I took a piece of paper from my desk drawer and looked at it. Phil. The guy who’d given Bubba his number to pass on to me at the Mad Tech game.
Oh.
I listened to the message again, trying to grasp the nuance. There was something in Bubba’s voice that sent a shiver down my spine. What did he mean? Had he discovered something nefarious about Phil? But why was his voice so warm when he said he wanted to talk to me? Surely, imparting bad news about a stranger didn’t warrant such a tone—a tone that one might even call sexy. Certainly, my body responded erotically, something it had never done from a voice mail from, say, my mother.
If Dobbs had been around, I would have forced him to listen to the message and give me his opinion about it. But Dobbs was gone and Jax as well.
It seemed wise not to get my hopes up. So, I resolutely went downstairs and made myself a sandwich. I was just rinsing off my plate when I heard the front doorbell. I paused to listen, expecting someone to answer it, but then remembered how empty the house was with the Quiz Bowl team gone to Chicago.
The dish clattered in the sink as I dropped it, hurried to the front door, and opened it. Bubba stood there.
“Hello,” I said. “You’re back early.”
“Yeah. I wanted to see you.” It was hard to read any expression in his eyes in the glare of the porch light.
“Oh.”
We stood there for a long awkward moment, looking at each other. I had questions, but they all sounded too presumptuous in my head.
“Why?” I finally asked. “You would have seen me at flag tomorrow.”
“I know. I wanted to talk to ya. Alone.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking a little nervous. “Wanna come over to my room or something?”
“There’s hardly anyone here,” I offered immediately. “Quiz Bowl sectionals are this weekend. My roommate’s gone. They won’t be back until tomorrow.”
That produced a slow smile on Bubba’s face. “Well. In that case. Wanna show me your room?”
My tongue wouldn’t function to reply, so I motioned him inside and led him up the stairs. I’d never had a man in my room. Well, other than my roommate, who was also a man. But that wasn’t the same at all. Because I had never kissed Dobbs. And he didn’t make my skin hum and my belly do slow rolls.
But Bubba and I were friends. We’d agreed to that only a few nights ago. Just friends. Just friends.
Once in my room, I closed the door. Dobbs’s bed had the comforter roughly pulled up, and the room needed dusting and vacuuming, but it wasn’t awful. I was pleased with the science posters, wicker accessories, and red-plaid bedding on my side of the room—all chosen by my mother, so I had nothing to be ashamed about.
I stood in the middle of the room and clasped my hands behind my back. “Can I offer you refreshments?”
Bubba laughed. “Nah, Jeeves. I’m good. Thanks.”
Was I that amusing? Or was he as nervous as I felt? “What do you want to talk about?” I asked.
Bubba looked down at the floor and swung his arms as if warming up to lift weights or play flag. “So…you know how you said you were tired of letting everyone else draw the borders of your life?”
“Yes. I remember.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at me. “That’s the smartest thing I ever heard. Guess I’ve done that my whole life. Let everyone else tell me I’m not smart enough or not good enough, or I have to be a certain way. And that stinks. What I really want is to be a physical therapist. So, I’m gonna go for it.”
I smiled. “I see. That’s terrific news. Congratulations.”
It was good news, truly. Was I a bad person for feeling a little disappointed? I shouldn’t be so selfish. I lifted my chin. “Have you examined the degree requirements to see how many semesters you’ll need to take? Perhaps there’s some course overlap with phys ed. We can figure that out right now.”
I turned and headed for my laptop on my desk. It had issues, poor thing, but it was still functional.
“No, wait.” Bubba grabbed my arm, bringing me back around to face him.
He was close, maybe a foot between us. I blinked up at him. I felt my pulse in my neck as my heart rate doubled.
Bubba cleared his throat. “That’s not the only thing I wanted to say.” His chest rose with a big breath. “I let people decide other stuff for me. I’ve always dated girls because that’s what everybody expected. I mean, I like girls well enough, but you know the image, big man, football jock, loves the ladies? That’s bullshit.” He waved his arms and stalked a couple steps toward the door and back. “I was in my hometown today where I grew up, and I looked around and realized that the folks are nice and all, but not one of them knows the first thing about me. Not anything. Not what I want or what I’m good at. But those are the people I let tell me how to be.” He ran both hands through his short hair. “Shit, when I decided to spend my grandmom’s money to go to college, were they even a little proud? No, You’d have thought I killed John Wayne and spit on the flag.” He shook his head vehemently. “But no more. I’m done being some puppet for everybody around me.” He gazed at me, and his face softened. “I want to…” He licked his lips nervously. “I want to date you, Sean. You’re really smart. And you’re cute, and you make me laugh, and I liked kissing you, and you see more in me than anyone ever saw before.” He grinned. “So, I’m just gonna do it. I mean…if there’s any chance you would like to go out with me.”
My knees went weak, and a bubble of happiness pushed around all the organs in my body, making the world spin, so it was completely logical to step forward and fall against Bubba. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight. He was still wearing his parka, and it was cushy and so warm.
“Are you sure?” I asked, my voice muffled from where my face was pressed against the fabric. “People will probably make fun of you.”
His chuckle was a low rumble against my cheek. “I’d like to see them try. There are some advantages to being bigger than everyone else.”
I pulled back far enough to look up at him. I wanted to be excited and ecstatic, but I was honestly hesitant. Too good to be true? I didn’t want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed again. “What if you decide you don’t like dating a man? Or dating me, specifically? Maybe you should give this further consideration.”
Bubba looked amused. “Further consideration, huh? Maybe you’re right. Maybe we should double-check that we’re good together.”
“How do you propose we do that?”
“I could kiss you,” Bubba suggested, a spark of something new in his eyes.