“You’re right about that.” Starr pushed past them both, heading for the door. “I don’t want to stick around to see you trample all over his memory,” she added. “I hope you’re happy now.”
The sarcasm cut through Evie like a knife, and she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, hot with guilt and shame. Starr’s footsteps marched away, and the door slammed shut behind her.
“I’m so sorry.” Noah was at her side in an instant, wrapping his arms around her. “She doesn’t mean it, you know that, right?”
But Evie didn’t know anything anymore. Only that she’d betrayed one of the people who mattered most in her life.
She’d promised Glen she would always look out for Starr. It was part of the deal when they’d said “I do.” His family was her family.
And what had she done to keep that vow?
Nothing.
Evie pulled away from Noah, angry—at herself, and him. “Why did you do that?” she asked, wiping her eyes. “You shouldn’t have come here. I told you, this is between us.”
Noah frowned. “The things she was saying to you—”
“She has every right to say them!” Evie cried. “She’s right, isn’t she? I’ve barely thought about Glen in weeks, I’ve been so wrapped up in everything happening with the inn and with—” She stopped herself from finishing the sentence, but Noah did it for her.
“And with me.”
She swallowed. Starr’s words were still ringing in her ears, accusing her of all those terrible things. Forgetting about Glen. Being happy to leave him in the past. Never loving him at all.
“She didn’t mean it,” Noah said, as if reading Evie’s mind. “She’s a hurt kid, lashing out because she’s still grieving, that’s all.”
But Evie shook her head. She knew Starr had flown off the handle, but there was a kernel of truth in her rage.
And a terrible lie at the heart of what Evie had said in response.
“I loved him more than anything.”
Her guilt grew, suffocating her. She’d loved Glen, of course she had, but had it been a wild, breathless passion like the one she felt with Noah? Had she lost herself in his touch, forgetting everything else in the world but the feel of his body—and the bliss of release in his arms?
No. No, she hadn’t. It had never been like this before, so deep, so much, so fast.
Too fast.
She was falling headlong in love with Noah Montgomery. But what would happen when she hit the ground?
Evie took a gulp of air, trying to breathe again. Noah reached for her, but she pulled back. “I can’t think,” she muttered, her head spinning with guilt and confusion. “I can’t think when you’re touching me.”
“It’s OK, Evie,” he said, soothingly. “I know you’re upset, but it’s going to be OK.”
“How?” she demanded, her voice rising in grief. “She hates me! Hell, even I hate myself for the way I’ve been acting. She’s right, I haven’t done this right. Starting over like nothing ever happened. How could I?”
“You moved on,” Noah said, watching her. “That’s a good thing, not a crime.”
But Evie still felt like the world was careening out of control. She’d told herself she was just wading in the shallows, having a little fun with Noah, and instead she’d dived headfirst into the unknown. Now, here she was, way out of her depth, and miles from shore.
“I … I can’t do this,” she said, struggling to find solid ground again. “It’s all too much.”
“What do you mean?” Noah’s voice was quiet, and when she looked at him, the hurt in his eyes just made her feel even more wretched.
“This. Us,” she gulped. “We’re moving way too fast.”
“Do you really mean that?” Noah asked slowly. “Or are you just letting Starr make you feel bad about a good thing?”
“I should feel bad!” Evie snapped back. “I should feel terrible for what I’ve done!”
“And what’s that?” Noah asked, still maddeningly calm. “Moving on? You’re the one who told me you eventually find a way to heal from tragedy. Starr may not understand that now, but she will, one day. You can’t blame yourself for finding happiness again.”
But she did.
Every time she looked at Noah now, all she could think about were the promises she’d made—and how easy it had been to forget them when she was wrapped up in his arms.
“I just … need some space. To slow this down,” Evie said, taking a deep breath.
Noah stood very still.
“It’s not you,” she added, guilty all over again. “I’m just … not ready. Not for this. Everything’s moving way too fast. We barely know each other!”
“You know me better than anyone,” Noah replied, looking stubborn. “And I know you. Evie, you don’t have to run away from this,” he said, moving forward and taking her hand. “I know it’s scary, putting your heart on the line again, but I’m ready to do it. I love you.”
Her heart stopped. God, how could three little words make her heart soar and fill her with dread—all in the same breath?
“You can’t mean that,” Evie tried to stop him, but Noah stood firm.
“I can, and I do,” he said, and the tenderness in his eyes was almost too much to bear. “I love you,” he said again, unwavering. “I’ve been falling in love with you since the very first night we met. Right here,” he added, with a wry smile. “I knew you were something special—I couldn’t get you out of my mind even when I tried. Because we’re the same, you and me. What we’ve been through …” He trailed off. “Look, I’ve been there: the guilt, moving on. Feeling like you don’t deserve happiness. But you do,” he insisted. “Please believe me.”
But Evie shook her head. She wanted to believe him, but everything was so confusing. “Please, Noah …”
She pulled away from him, and Noah dragged a hand through his hair.
“OK,” he said slowly, like he was grasping for what to do next. “If you think you need time to think this over, then take it. Take all the time in the world. I’ll be here, whenever you’re ready.”
Evie struggled to process everything he was saying—and just how certain he seemed to be.
How could he be so sure? How could he just decide they were meant to be together when every part of her felt torn in a hundred different directions?
“You don’t mean it,” Evie said in disbelief. “I can’t … I can’t promise you anything.”
Noah gave her a bittersweet smile. “That’s OK. I’ll make enough promises for the both of us. You and me, we’re meant to be together. I know it in my bones. And when you figure it out, I’ll be right here, waiting for you.”
Evie’s heart broke to hear him say it, but she was too confused to breathe a word in response. Too confused to do anything but stand there as he gave her hand a final squeeze and turned to leave.
She wanted to stop him. A part of her wanted to throw her arms around him and never let go. But everything that had happened that day—the grief, the guilt, the shame—was still whirling in her chest, paralyzing her. She didn’t know which direction was the right one to go in, so she didn’t move at all.