“Just a little more … there!”
Evie lowered the piece of furniture to the floor with relief. “How is this any better than the last four places we tried it?”
“It just is.” Jules stood back, looking satisfied. “See?”
Evie looked around. They’d been setting up one of the guest bedrooms all morning, shifting the furniture around so many times that Evie couldn’t tell if she liked it a certain way or if it was just … different. Now, airy drapes framed the beautiful view, a gorgeous vintage rug lay on the floor, and a king-sized bed with a beautiful velvet headboard was made up with soft linens, perfect for snuggling up in.
Or tossing aside in the throes of passion …
Evie sank down onto the bed with a sigh. “He looked good, didn’t he?” she asked mournfully.
Jules didn’t even need to ask who she meant. They’d been up until three a.m. talking about him, after all. “Good enough to eat,” she agreed.
Except Noah hadn’t been on the menu last night, so Evie had settled for consuming her body weight in Pepperidge Farm frozen cookies instead. But of course it hadn’t filled the aching hole in her chest.
Nothing could. Except Noah.
“Do you think he hates me?” she asked, replaying that awkward scene at the mini-mart all over again. She buried her face in her hands. “He definitely hates me.”
“Sure, the man was gazing at you like you were a slice of double chocolate fudge cake because he secretly despises you.” Jules paused, then went to sit beside her. “This isn’t just about what Starr said, is it?” she asked eventually.
Evie let out a long sigh. “No.”
After Starr left, she had spent days trying to figure things out. She knew the younger girl was hurt and probably didn’t mean half the cruel things she’d said, but still, the guilt made Evie lose sleep. It was true, after all: Evie’s new life here in Sweetbriar Cove was built on the ashes of her old one with Glen. It was his death that had sent her searching for a new beginning, the check from his life insurance policy that had paid for the renovation of the inn.
Was it right for Evie to be so happy when other people were still desperately grieving the loss?
But that wasn’t the only thing holding her back.
Evie sat up again, toying with the fringe on the embroidered quilt. “Everything with Noah has happened so fast,” she admitted. “Our connection … the way I feel about him. After Glen died, I thought maybe I could love someone again like that. But this?” Evie swallowed hard, finally admitting the truth she’d kept secret for so long. “This is a different kind of love altogether,” she told Jules. “This is something bigger, and wilder, and … it terrifies me.”
“Oh, babe.” Jules drew her into a hug. “You don’t think you’re ready?”
“No, it’s not that.” Evie tried to find the words to explain. “It’s not being ready to love Noah, it’s about what happens after that. Suppose I fall for him?” she asked quietly. “Really fall, hard, the way I think I would if I let myself, and then … what if something happens? What if I lose him?”
She couldn’t imagine it. Even now, her chest clenched, like her whole body was recoiling from the idea. “I don’t think I could do it again,” she said, her voice twisting in fear. “It nearly killed me last time, losing Glen. I can’t go through that again. I just can’t.”
“Shh,” Jules soothed her, rubbing a gentle hand on her back. “Nothing’s going to happen to Noah. You won’t lose him.”
“But you can’t promise me that, can you?” Evie looked at her with a desperate ache in her chest. “Accidents happen. They happen all the time. I thought Glen would be mine forever, but then, out of nowhere, he was just gone.”
A drunk driver. An accident at work. A sudden change of mind. That’s all it would take to rip her world apart for a second time. Life was so fleeting and precious, and Evie thought she’d reconciled herself to the uncertainty of it. But lying in Noah’s arms, she’d realized she wasn’t prepared to love someone like that and then lose them after all.
Maybe it was safer to steer clear and keep her heart safe from breaking a second time around.
“Have you talked to Noah about it?” Jules asked.
Evie shook her head. “What could I say?” she asked. “‘I know we’ve only been dating a short while, but I’m scared I’ll love you so much I won’t be able to stand losing you?’” She managed a wry laugh. “It’s not exactly the kind of conversation you can have.”
“Why not?” Jules gave a shrug. “Isn’t it better than him thinking you don’t really care about him at all?”
Guilt crashed through Evie. She winced.
“I’m sorry,” Jules said quickly, bouncing to her feet. “What do I know about great love? I can barely even manage a great like. But what I don’t like are those bedside tables,” she said, swiftly changing the subject. “I think I like those rounded ones better—”
“No!” Evie exclaimed, sitting up again. “We are not moving a single thing in this room again. It’s perfect.”
Jules laughed. “I’m kidding. You’re right. Our work here is done.”
“One room down, the entire rest of the inn to go,” Evie said ruefully. “Maybe by the time we’re done next month, I’ll actually have my life figured out.”
“Aww, babe.” Jules gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Do you want another margarita?”
“No!” Evie rubbed her head again, as a cellphone rang loudly. She moaned.
“Sorry,” Jules whispered, reaching for her phone, but when she saw the caller display, her eyes lit up. “I have to take this!” she squealed, dashing out of the room to answer.
Evie sank back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling.
What was she doing?
All the interior design and fruity drinks in the world couldn’t distract her from the question still lingering behind every heartbeat, every word.
Noah.
She missed him. She wanted him. It should be simple. But every time she thought about picking up the phone, that icy fear seemed to freeze her in place. Holding her back.
Could she really let him slip away?
Evie didn’t know. All she knew was that Noah’s gentle smile last night had sent her spinning all over again, filled with longing, shame, and regret.
An excited shriek cut through her thoughts. Evie hauled herself up and went downstairs to find Jules bouncing around the room in glee. “What is it?” she asked, managing a smile. “Hot new job? Hot new man?”
“Neither!” Jules grabbed her arms and spun her around. “Who’s the best social media maven in the business?”
Evie laughed. “You are!” Then the laugh turned into a groan. “No spinning,” she begged, clutching her stomach.
“Don’t worry, you’ll feel like a million bucks when you hear what I’ve just lined up for you.” Jules beamed, triumphant. “Bunny Vanderberg!”
“Who?” Evie blinked.
“Only the queen of B&Bs!” Jules exclaimed. “She reviews for all the top travel magazines—her articles make or break a new property. If Bunny says you’re in, you’ll be booked up for years.”