“Have you accepted yet to attend State? I know the deadline is coming up,” he asked, and everyone in the room went silent, putting their attention on me. Clem was there now, and her eyes danced between me and my parents as if she were hoping they’d rescue me. Alec was lying in bed after drinking and driving and nearly killing himself, unsure if he’d walk again, and he wanted to know if I’d made my decision about college? Yet I felt as if my answer held as much importance as his recovery did.
I cleared my throat. “No. I hadn’t made my decision yet. I was planning to talk to my parents about it this weekend.”
“Well, you know where your mama wants you to go. And now, with Alec’s situation, he’s got a long road to recovery, and he’s going to need you if he hopes to get there,” Mama T spoke as she tucked the blanket in around his chest.
I nodded, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. I looked up to find both of my parents staring down at their feet. It was unbelievably awkward.
“Yep.” It’s all I could say. I was drowning in guilt and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who to turn to or if anyone was actually looking out for me anymore aside from Jett and my friends. And then I felt incredibly selfish for thinking of myself when Alec was lying there completely unsure of what his future held.
“We’re going to take Addy and Clem and head home and give you all some time together. We could all use a shower and some dinner, and we’ll check on you in a little bit,” my father said, and I pushed to my feet, desperate for some space.
Some air.
Some room to think.
“You’ll come back tonight, Addy, right?” Alec asked.
I nodded. “Yes. Of course.”
“We’ll be waiting for you, sweetheart.” Mama T pulled me in for a hug. It didn’t feel the way it used to. It didn’t feel safe or genuine anymore. Maybe I was just tired. But when she pulled away, the way she looked at me felt more like a warning.
Her love came at a cost, and she’d just let me know what her price was. And I hadn’t forgotten her threat against Jett. I didn’t know if she’d just been emotional when she’d said it or if she meant it. But they were obviously willing to cover up the fact that Alec had been driving drunk, and it made me wonder how far she’d go to get what she wanted.
My father stiffened as he placed a hand on the small of my back to lead me toward the door. Clem intertwined my fingers with hers and we all four walked out to the car in silence. The drive home was the same. Maybe we were all exhausted. Maybe we were just all at a loss for words. We pulled in the driveway and my father turned off the car, but no one got out. He turned in his seat to look at my mother and then glanced at us in the back seat.
“It is not okay for anyone to ever put their hands on you. I don’t care whose son he is. Nor is it okay to get behind the wheel of a car drunk,” my father said, and Clem gasped.
“Who put their hands on you? Alec drove drunk?”
“I’m fine. Alec was drunk and acting erratically. But it doesn’t matter now. He’s sitting in a hospital bed and we need to focus on his recovery.” I opened the back door and stepped out of the car. I was on overload. And now that it was actually out there, it felt like a betrayal to Alec with all he was going through. I went straight to my room and walked to the bathroom, turning on the water to run a hot bath.
I’d skinny dipped in the lake, lost my virginity to the boy I loved more than life itself, slept on the ground, and spent half the night sitting beside my ex-boyfriend who didn’t know if he’d walk again. A woman I considered a second mother had gone all gangster and was threatening to destroy Jett and disown me if I didn’t do what she wanted. And Alec was desperate, and he needed me, and we didn’t know what his future held.
I tore off my clothing and quickly wrapped a towel around my body when someone knocked on the door, just as I’d done less than twenty-four hours ago with Jett, and now I was here.
“Come in,” I called out.
My mother stepped in and closed the door. “Daddy’s right, you know.”
“About?”
“About no one ever laying a hand on you.” Her gaze moved to my shoulders and she gasped. “Oh my gosh. Did Alec do this?”
I looked down to see the bruising on my upper arms and silently cursed myself for letting her see this. Would it even matter? She’d always be loyal to Mama T and Alec, wouldn’t she?
“Yes. He was drunk and stupid. It’s fine. Jett pulled him off of me, and we left.”
Her eyes welled with emotion as she rushed toward me and studied the bruises. “Mama T shouldn’t talk to you the way she did. I know she’s upset, but it’s not her place to tell you what to do. She shouldn’t have called the school on your behalf, that should have been your decision.”
“Is anything my decision?” I walked into the bathroom and turned off the water, as it was dangerously high and threatening to overflow.
“It should be.” She brushed the hair back from my face, and her fingers skimmed the bruising on my shoulder. “And you obviously know more about Alec than I do. I never thought he would touch you or hurt you physically. I never thought he would get behind the wheel of a car drunk. My god, Addy, you could have been in that car with him. I’ve messed up so much, baby girl. I guess in a way I thought you and Alec being together made me a loyal friend to Mama T. I think I’ve always felt like I owed her something… but not at the expense of my own daughter’s happiness. I’ve just gotten so lost along the way.”
Tears rolled down her face and she covered her mouth with her hand, shaking her head with disbelief.
“Yep. But it still doesn’t mean that I don’t want him to get better. Even after everything that happened, I still care about him. I care about their family,” I said as I fell into Mama’s arms and sobbed. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me so tight.
We sat there crying together for what seemed like forever.
Because we both knew nothing would ever be the same again.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jett
I hadn’t heard from Adelaide, but Shaw and Coco had spent the day at my house talking all this shit through. Coco informed me about Alec’s mother’s threats, and I needed to let Adelaide know that I didn’t care what she tried to pull. I didn’t buy in to emotional blackmail. Coco said none of the girls had heard from their best friend, but they’d talked to Clem who’d said her sister had finally gone home to get some sleep and would return to the hospital in the morning. I knew I was taking a risk coming here, but I needed to talk to her.
I threw a rock at her window. Her room was dark. There was no response, so I chucked another rock up, just as a light turned on in her room. The window opened, and Adelaide looked down at me. She held up a finger to her lips and the light went out again. I stood beneath the oversized tree, wondering if she was coming down, or if she was just going to call me.