I resisted the urge to look around to see if there had been another woman there, mostly because I was afraid of what I might find, but also because I truly wanted to believe him. I also wanted to believe that just because there were two of every dish dirtied in the bin in my car, that it didn’t mean that he had had somebody else since the night we locked ourselves in the closet. It had been less than a week, so surely those dishes were from before Christmas night.
As I was walking out, I noticed one of the dogs had previously had an accident on the floor and of course, there was no way I was going to leave a pile of poop square on the floor when I was trying to make the house look nice, so I did what any reasonable person would do and grabbed a paper towel, picked it up, tossed it into the toilet, and pulled the handle to flush it. Except, of course, it didn’t do anything but gurgle, since there was no water pump and I had forgotten again. So, now, instead of a solid piece, it had disintegrated into a watery mess, to which again, I refused to settle by leaving it there. So, I got a plastic bag, scooped out as much as I could and then sprayed the only cleaner I could find, hoping that it would at least turn whatever was left white and it would blend into the remaining water. The dogs watched confused and, as I left the room, I patted them on the head and reassured them I was just as confused by my actions as they were.
I locked up the door and made my way back to the car, which was now covered in snow and hoped that I would be able to get out of the driveway since I didn’t have a truck or a four wheel drive. I barely cleared it, but I made it and after I got home and loaded the dishwasher, I texted him again.
“Dogs are good. I am home now and will head back in the morning.”
“Thanks, babe. Oh, I forgot to tell you – Number 3 drives a big orange truck. She’s crazy enough to drive by. I told her my cousin was feeding the dogs.”
Are you fucking kidding me? All of me wanted to go into my room and scream into my pillow and never come out, but the thought of leaving the dogs to die was too awful. I don’t think I even responded right away. I could not believe that we were in this place again where he spent all this time convincing me I was the one, but he was still talking to Number 3. How did that even make sense? He must’ve had her over which is why there were matching dishes. I hated him. I hated him so much. I wanted to open my dishwasher and break every last one.
“Your cousin?”
“Yeah, listen, I will explain later, but she came to me the other night. I was going to tell her, but then this came up. I didn’t think I should just tell her over the phone.”
“And you didn’t tell her the other night? Yet, you thought enough to tell her I was your cousin?”
“Don’t make this into something it’s not. We had dinner, that was it.”
“At your house?”
“I gotta go. Thanks for taking care of the dogs.”
I threw my phone. I screamed at my own dogs. I pulled every dish out of the dishwasher and, as calmly as I could, placed them back into the bin wanting to, but trying not to, break them. I opened the front door, ready to traipse back to his house in the middle of the night, ready to fill up a big bowl of dog food so I would never have to go back, knowing full well they wouldn’t die in the next two days. Instead, I was met by a practical blizzard and swiftly closed the door and stomped to bed.
I somehow managed to sleep and woke up clearer-headed and much calmer. In the first few minutes of being awake, I convinced myself he was right, checked my phone, and was met by a kissy emoji he had sent sometime over the night. I shook my head but reminded myself he was trying and surely, I had taken this all wrong.
I got back to his house, dragged in the dishes and the jugs of water, greeted the dogs, let them out, petted them, and decided to leave quickly and come back later to put everything away. There was no way I was sitting around in his house with six feet of snow outside (okay, maybe two) like a sitting duck waiting for the girl who was “just crazy enough” to drive by to actually drive by.
I answered his text and he called to update me on how his dad was doing. He was going to be okay, just a scare and nothing overly serious. The day moseyed on, until it was time to go back for their evening feeding. Olivia opted to go with me, which was fine by me because, as a teenager, she never really wanted to go anywhere with her mom anymore, but the fact that there were two dogs she could play with was a selling point. We got to the house and let the dogs out but, this time, Hunter was moving pretty slow.
“Do you think he’s okay?” I asked her.
“Yeah, I think so. He’s probably just tired. Or bored.”
I gave both the dogs a treat on their way out and, not long after, Chloe came running inside. I hollered for Hunter who didn’t come and then walked to the door to see where he was. When I found him, he was face down in the snow, spread eagle. I walked over to him and he looked up at me and I helped him to his feet. He scampered back into the house, took in some water, and then laid on his bed.
“I’m not sure. I am going to call Joe.” I dialed his number. He answered on the second ring.
“Babe, I’m not sure if there’s something wrong with Hunter.”
“Why?”
“He was just lying down flat in the snow, like he couldn’t move.”
“Oh no, he’s fine. He does that. He likes the snow. Don’t worry about it.”
“Are you sure? Should I take him to the vet?”
“No, he’s fine. Really.”
I looked over at him, now with his head in Olivia’s lap who was petting him and making kissy faces at Chloe. “Okay, if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
We left the dogs that night and the next morning Olivia insisted on wrapping herself in a blanket and going with me to let them out. We got to the house and, by this time, she had fallen back to sleep so, instead of bothering her, I let her be. I unlocked the door, and Chloe ran past me. I made my way into the kitchen, put away the clean dishes, then called the dogs for their treats and Chloe came back in through the open door.
“Where’s your bother?” I scratched her ear. I walked back to the mud room with Hunter’s treat in my hand, calling his name. It only took a minute to see him, lying in his bed with his head hanging off the side. “Hunter?” Nothing. “Hunter?” Still nothing. I held the treat to his nose. “Hunter, here, boy, have a treat.” I wiggled the treat hoping he would take a bite. Again, nothing.
“Shit,” I whispered to myself. I jolted to my feet and ran to the door. By this time, Olivia was waking up in the car. I jumped up and down to get her attention. I waved her in furiously. She got out of the car with her hair in a bun on top of her head, wearing a sweatshirt, leggings, and some Ugg boots. She took a moment to stretch as I jerked my body around trying to get her inside. She squinted her face in annoyance. “Remember that time you wanted to be a Vet?” I yelled from the porch. “Now’s your chance!”
“What?” She came running, sliding on the ice. “What happened?”
“I think you need to give the dog CPR!” I shrieked.
“What? Me? Why me?”
“Because you like dogs and you want to be a nurse. Just do it.” I pulled her into the house.
She scurried in and knelt down behind the dog while I turned my back and brought my hands to my mouth, half covering it and half biting my fingers in disbelief.