It hurt my heart that my sister was going to go through a pregnancy without a partner; in a perfect world, raising a baby alone wouldn’t have been her choice. Our parents had made a choice to abandon us. Violet might not have planned this pregnancy, but there was no doubt in my mind that she’d chosen this baby, and the family she’d become when he or she was born.
My free hand splayed on my lap and I tapped my pinky on my leg, making a silent promise to my niece or nephew to always be there, to give them the family they needed. To be there for my sister, to never leave her alone.
“And here is their head.” With her cursor, she slid over the head of the little baby on the screen. “And you can see the little arms and feet.”
Violet cocked her head to the side. “It doesn’t look like a baby, well, I mean it kind of does.”
“You’re about ten weeks, so the baby is still developing. Your next ultrasound will be when you’re around twenty weeks, and you’ll see a much more developed baby.”
“Is that when she finds out what she’s having?” I asked.
“She can find out sooner, if she’d like. They can do a blood test for that now.”
“What if I’m not sure if I want to know the sex?”
“That’s fine. A lot of first-time moms choose that route.”
Violet turned to me. “I think I want to wait.”
“Okay.” I smiled gently at her. Despite all the hard things she’d recently been through, for the first time I actually felt like things might be okay. We might just make it through all of this.
17
KEANE
“You’re probably going to need to haul all of that up,” Asa said, crouching down to inspect the flooring with me.
“I know,” I grunted and pulled up the first one. It was so dry it cracked in half lengthwise, along the grain. “Fuck.”
“You gotta be more careful,” Asa admonished, taking the hammer from me and using the claw to pry up a nail on the next one. “This decking is old—probably original. You might have to replace most of it.” He did two nails and handed me the hammer, intending me to repeat what he’d done.
It was in my head to argue with him about my method of pulling up the planks, if I’d just need to replace them anymore. But that was my frustration speaking, of another project being added to my list.
“I’ve got a group meeting soon,” Asa said, straightening. “You okay doing the rest of this?”
I glared at him, but I really wasn’t angry with him—just this damn project. “Fine.”
“If it makes you feel better, I don’t even have a deck yet.” He put his hands on his hips and stared down at me.
“Well, at least yours will start from scratch.” I whipped my head, sending sweaty hair flying. “You don’t have anything to tear up first.”
“And at least you have four solid walls and a roof, little brother.”
He was right, of course. “Get lost then, so you can’t grumble when I rip up the next plank and fuck it up.”
“I’m just saying, it’ll make your life easier.” Asa held up his hands and backed away. After a minute of me attempting to do it the way Asa showed me, I heard his truck start and drive away. And since he was gone, I repeated the method I’d used on the first one and groaned as I pried it out.
“Want a water bottle?” Violet leaned out of the doorway as I pried up one of the loose floorboards in the decking.
I nodded and rubbed my arm over my forehead. Sweat collected and kept sliding into my eyes. If I bitched about it to my brother, he’d tell me to cut my fucking hair.
A creak at the door had me turning my head. She pressed a bottle into my hands, and I murmured a thanks before I tipped the ice-cold water back and down my throat.
“I don’t get it,” I said, heaving a sigh as I set the detached floorboard to the side. “How do ladies deal with long hair, sweating all over their face?”
Violet laughed and crouched so that she sat beside me on the stoop. “We have things called scrunchies.” She looked over my forehead and nodded. “And headbands. Want one? I’m sure I have one.”
The fact that I was considering it at all must have signaled to her that I was annoyed by my fucking hair because she disappeared and then reappeared moments later with a pale pink fabric headband in her hands. “I’ve seen guys wear them at the gym,” she offered, as if I’d be embarrassed to use it.
I had pride, but wearing a headband wasn’t going to damage it any. “Thanks. I’ll try not to make it gross.” I slid it over my head and then up my face. Once my hair was pushed away from my face, I could finally fully see what a fucking nightmare this was going to be. From what I could see after removing just two of the planks, there was definite damage to a few of the joists under the deck and most of the ones that weren’t damaged were sagging under the weight of the load they’d been carrying.
“You look like you just heard someone died.” Violet crouched and wrapped her arms around her knees. “Can I help with anything?”
“No. I’m going to need to replace most of these joists and, I suspect, at least one of these beams.” I wanted to toss my tools across the yard. In the grand scheme of the house project, it wasn’t surprising that there would be issues along the way. But I hadn’t really thought about the work this would entail. I’d definitely need Asa’s help, which he’d probably grumble about since he had a whole fucking house to build still.
“Oh no.” Violet looked under the decking. “Kind of creepy down there.”
“It is. When I used to play baseball out here, Gramps always made me climb under the deck to retrieve the balls that ended up here.” As I trailed my flashlight over the boards, I spotted a dirty white ball right next to one of the posts. “Son of a bitch.” I leaned down and shoved my arm through weeds until my fingers grasped it. I pulled the ball up and showed her. “I remember losing one and not being able to find it. I bet this one is it.” I twirled it around my hand. Though it had lived under a deck for at least a decade, it showed little wear except for some dirt.
The ball brought me back to many summers spent playing catch with Gramps right on this lawn. Asa had joined us on occasion, but Asa had always been a mama’s boy, choosing to stay with our mom while I spent my time off of school with Gramps. While our dad had been busy running a construction company that often took him out of town to big projects, Gramps had taken me under his wing, taught me how to be a man. And not just with hunting and fishing, but with how to take care of the people we loved.
I rolled the ball across the deck, silently giving thanks to the man who had given me so much more than just this plot of land I loved so much.
I glanced up at the sun overhead. “I’m going to have to run to town before it gets dark and get some stuff so I can start on the deck in the morning.”
“Can I come?”
“Uh…” That gave me pause. I looked at Violet, realizing that she’d been pretty cooped up at the cabin, except for her doctor appointment the day before. “If you want, I guess.” I didn’t see the harm in her joining me, and at least this time she’d be able to pick out dinner. Navy had said Violet wasn’t picky so maybe it was due to the pregnancy, but she had been picking at the options I’d brought by each day. And on the days that Navy brought something homemade, Violet had hardly eaten that either. “Have you had any cravings?” I asked her as she climbed in beside me into the truck.