I snaked my arm around her, anchoring her to me. Her perfume washed over me and I tempered the urge to bury my face in her hair. Why did she fit so well with me? Why was I more comfortable with Navy than anyone else? When she moved to pull away, I dropped a kiss to the top of her head. She stalled, turning more fully that she faced me. But I didn’t let go.
I wasn’t sure of much these days, but I was sure that I didn’t want to stop holding her. I brushed her messy hair away from her face. “Hope it’s not too awkward with Tori.”
“Oh, no. It’s fine. We’ve chatted a bit. She’s nice.”
“I know she is.”
“But she’s intimidating.”
“Because she’s so free with her opinions?”
“Because…” Navy buried her face into my shirt and didn’t continue. I felt like whatever she’d been able to say had been important, but she didn’t want to share it with me.
I remembered our earlier conversation about Tori, and the worries I’d seen in Navy’s eyes. They were the same insecurities she’d felt about Megan, when her name had been brought up. “I don’t have feelings for her, okay?”
“I mean…”
“No.” I stopped her, framed her face in my hands. “What happened between Tori and me died out a long time ago. I didn’t invite her for any reason except that she’s my friend. That’s all she is to me.”
“It’s really none of my business.”
Navy moved to leave my hold, but there was hurt in her eyes before she flicked her gaze down to her feet. “Wait,” I said, my mind scrambling. “It is your business.”
“No, it’s not.”
“That’s what you say. But what if,” I started and swallowed. There was no rewinding the clock once I said this. “What if I want it to be your business?”
Silence echoed between us. She looked up at me, bathed in that pretty light. She licked her lips but held my gaze. “What do you mean?”
“I think you know what I mean.” I understood gravity; I respected it. So how the fuck had my heart traveled up to rest in my throat?
“I don’t know if…” She shoved a hand into her hair, messing it up. She exhaled like she’d been holding her breath a very long time. “You said that it would mess things up if we did that.”
“Well, it’s too fucking late for that, isn’t it?” When I’d planned this movie night at the cabin, it hadn’t been my intention to ask this, to go there with her. But the thought had always been at the back of my mind, nagging me, giving me images of a life that I’d never thought of. Of possibilities I’d never entertained.
“It’s not too late.” She licked her lips again and looked sideways at the cabin. We were feet from the door, but the clatter from inside would have drowned out our whispers. “Nobody has to know what happened.”
“But I know. And I can’t get it out of my head.”
Her bottom lip fell open and her eyes widened slightly. She hadn’t been prepared for that. Hell, I hadn’t been prepared to admit it either.
Her hands slid up my arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake, until she’d reached my neck. “I don’t think we’re ready for that.”
“Probably not,” I admitted, wrapping my hands around her wrists. “And I don’t know if I ever will be ready. But until we try, we won’t really know. Will we?”
“What are you guys doing?” Tori hollered from the window, startling us both.
“One second,” I said as Navy said, “Coming.”
“Hey,” I said when Tori had vacated the window and before Navy could open the door. “I told Tori what happened. Sort of. Loosely.”
“You what?” Her voice was borderline screechy.
Fuck. I kicked some dirt with the toe of my shoe. “I thought maybe she could help me. She knows me well enough to tell me when I’m being an idiot.”
“So, did you tell me that you want this to be my business because of Tori?” Her eyes were guarded, and her body angled from me. She was upset.
“No, Jesus. She didn’t write me a speech. I don’t even remember if she gave me advice. She just called me an idiot a lot.”
Navy laughed at that, softening slightly.
“I think the gist was that she told me I needed to talk to you. Which we obviously need to do.”
“Okay, but not right now.” She tilted her head toward the cabin, where everyone else was. “Not tonight.”
“When, then?”
“When I’m ready.”
It wasn’t the answer I wanted. “What if you’re never ready?”
“Then…”
“Then we suffer awkwardness for the rest of our lives, huh?”
“It doesn’t have to be awkward.”
“This is the first time I’ve seen you in a week.” God, I sounded so melodramatic. Fuck me. “That’s not awkward? I’ve missed you, Navy. You’re my best friend. I don’t like what’s happened to us.”
“I don’t either.”
I sighed, feeling that emptiness I’d told Tori about. “Can we try the friendship thing, tonight?”
“Sure.” She folded her hands in front of her. “But no cuddling. Too confusing.”
“Okay.”
“And…” She bit her lip, almost like she was going to stop herself from saying anything else. I raised an eyebrow. “No kissing.” She said it in a rush, like she exhaled the words. “We already messed up once, by jumping in with both feet before we were ready to swim.”
“So, you’re saying none of that until we talk, right?”
She nodded.
“You drive a hard bargain,” I said as I looked toward my truck, thinking of the things I’d brought with me that she didn’t know about yet. “Okay, fine. Want to sleep outside tonight?”
She turned, contemplating the mostly bare yard. “Do you have a tent or something?”
“Or something.”
She squinted, looking at me like she wanted to read my mind, but couldn’t. “Okay. But I’m serious. No cuddling.”
I held my hands up in surrender and offered my pinky, which she took. “I promise.”
22
NAVY
When the credits aired after the end of the movie, Violet was already asleep. She’d moved to the floor at some point, cradling a pillow she’d retrieved from the back bedroom.
“Well, fuck me.” Tori drained the last of her beer—that light beer she’d claimed to hate. “That was all sappy and shit.”
“Agreed,” Keane said. “Pretty sure I’ve got a cavity from it. Might need a root canal.”
“Don’t be a baby,” Tori said. “You’ve made her suffer through terrible movies.”
“Exactly,” I chimed in. “Like that one where Martians abducted Santa Claus.”
“Isn’t that an old movie?” Tori asked.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s older than my parents,” Keane said with a laugh. “A classic though.”