“That’s what you always say. You’re lucky Navy hasn’t revoked your ability to choose movies.”
“They haven’t been all bad,” I said, wanting to stand up for Keane. “He introduced me to Life is Beautiful.”
“I haven’t heard of it.” Tori set her beer in the trash can and stretched her back. “Wait, is that the Italian movie about World War II?”
I nodded, helping a sleepy Violet to her feet. “Where the whole family is sent to a concentration camp. And the dad loves his son so much, he pretends the whole thing is a game. Shields him from the horrors of the camp by acting like it’s part of some big joke.”
“It’s in Italian right?”
“Yeah, but there are subtitles,” Keane said as he scooped up Violet’s blanket and pillow.
“I’m not a subtitled movie kind of girl,” Tori said. She plopped lazily onto the couch.
Keane returned from the bedroom where Violet was again fast asleep. “And that’s why Navy is my movie buddy and you’re not.”
Tori tossed a throw pillow at him. “Thank God someone puts up with you.”
I started to pick up the mess of plates and garbage, wanting to keep my hands busy. I was nervous about tonight, about being alone with Keane. It was much easier to ignore the elephant in the room when we weren’t the only ones in the room with it.
Tori yawned. “So, what’s the sleeping plan tonight?”
“We’re sleeping outside,” Keane said, pulling my attention from the cupcake wrappers I tossed. “Navy and me.”
Tori stretched out on the couch. “Yesssss. So does that mean I get the Casanova couch all to myself?”
“Casanova couch?” I asked.
Keane shook his head at me, telling me without words not to encourage Tori anymore. “You do,” he told her. “I’ve got blankets and pillows in my truck. I’ll be right back.”
I watched him go out the front door until Tori pulled my attention away with a laugh.
“What’s so funny?”
“You. Him.” She folded her arms behind her head like she was getting a free show. “You’re both tiptoeing around each other.”
“No, we’re not.” The kitchen was clean, so I had nothing to busy my hands with. I grabbed a chair at the table and sank into it, playing with the wood grain as I’d done earlier.
“You are.”
I lifted my head. “Keane told me that he told you.” I wanted to see her reaction, to see if there was jealousy or hurt or anything else that might make this more awkward than it already was.
But Tori grinned like the Cheshire cat. “Good. He told me he was going to.”
“Isn’t it…” I stopped, not sure I wanted the answer after all.
“Isn’t it what?”
I hesitated, looking toward the door, hoping for Keane to come in and interrupt so I didn’t have to ask the question I wanted to, even though the answer might not be one I wanted to hear.
“Isn’t it weird? For you?”
Tori laughed. “God, you and Keane are fucking brain twins. The answer is no. Not in the slightest.”
“How could that be?”
“Short attention span. Remember? Keane and I, it was fleeting. Young, dumb fun. Not serious.”
“But you guys hooked up over the years, a few times.”
“Yeah, but I’ve also hooked up with guy who smothers himself with his own socks, so I can’t exactly say Keane’s special.” She grimaced. “I mean, Keane is a great guy. But he’s a better friend. Okay?”
“I know he’s a good friend.” But it tickled something in the back of my mind. “What do you mean, like he’s not boyfriend material?”
“He wasn’t for me. But he shouldn’t be, right? Because if he was, you and I wouldn’t be having this conversation so civilly. Would we?”
“Probably not,” I agreed. “Why wasn’t he boyfriend material for you?”
“He was, for a few minutes. But Keane is grounded, stable, comfortable with his life. And for someone like me, someone who is untethered and flighty and spontaneous, it might seem like he’d be good for me. But,” Tori held up her hands, “I don’t need anyone good for me. I need someone good to me. Someone who understands me; who doesn’t restrict me.”
“And Keane wasn’t good to you?”
“Not in the ways that mattered.” At my silence, she continued. “You’re probably thinking about the line of girls he’s been with in the past.”
“Hard not to.”
“Yeah, I bet. Especially since he paraded them in front of you.”
I shrugged. “I don’t think he paraded them in front of me.”
“He knew you liked him in that way, and he didn’t try to shield you from his bevy of girls.”
“Because we were friends. I didn’t want things to change.”
“So you just let him keep hurting you, then?”
Ah. This right here was why Tori intimidated me. She could get to the core of things you couldn’t even admit to yourself. “I didn’t let him hurt me.” Because he didn’t know.
“But you did, right? Because he didn’t realize that your crush on him wasn’t fleeting. And you didn’t tell him about it.” When I tried to speak to that, Tori sat up straighter on the couch. “You’re the kind of girl who needs someone grounded, someone stable. You know instability and you know how important it is to have a solid foundation. You wouldn’t admit that crush to him unless it was serious for you. You’re not flighty.”
“Sometimes I am.”
“Not when it comes to your heart.”
I swallowed. “Well, you don’t really know me that well.”
“You’re right. I don’t. But I know Keane and I know how he talks about you when you’re not around. And I’ve been around you enough to witness that you are brave, in quiet ways.”
I couldn’t say it didn’t warm me hearing that. “I’m not really sure where to go from here.” I gestured toward the door that Keane had disappeared behind. “It’s weird because we’re friends.”
“Yeah, blah blah, heard it all from him before.” Tori flapped her hand at me. “You need to get out of here.” She pointed to the side of her head. “And get in here,” she said, pointing to her chest. “Not your boob, but ya know, your heart.”
“I’ll try not to get in my boob,” I said with a little laugh.
“Just don’t think. See what happens.”
“Easier said than done.”
“Probably. I don’t know, I kind of do what I say.”
“Did you tell Keane you were going to talk to me?”
“No. I said I would mediate. But you don’t need me to mediate. You just need me to tell you both to stop being idiots. Flap your gums—whether that’s from talking or making out. Just do it. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“I could lose my best friend.”
Tori turned serious. “No, you couldn’t. Keane wouldn’t let you go for very long. He’d chase after you.”