“You don’t want to know.”
“I do.”
In the background, Kenzi said, “You can’t tell him.”
“He has a right to know.”
“What?” Connor asked. “Just say it.”
Dax said, “Kenzi threatened to tell Sophie I wasn’t being nice to you. Lately Sophie has been lecturing everyone in the family that we need to be kinder to you—no nicknames, no jokes about your IQ. We’re all supposed to tell you we loved you before and will love you no matter what path you choose.”
There could have been a sting to Dax’s words, but Connor chose to focus on the good in them. “Sophie’s incredible.”
He expected Dax to say something sarcastic, but he didn’t. Instead he said, “She is.” He cleared his throat. “I couldn’t sleep the other night and watched a special on gorillas that has really stuck with me.”
“Okay.” That’s random.
“The gorilla family unit is headed by one alpha male, a silverback. It’s his job to intimidate attackers while his family flees. You’d think this leader is always the strongest. Not so. Female gorillas have been known to defend a favorite silverback against younger, more fit males who would challenge him. The case they highlighted was an older silverback who was good with the young and was seen often giving the females reassuring embraces. What I’m saying is, he was an alpha gorilla, but he was also kind. That’s not a bad combination.”
Huh? “Good talk, Dax.”
“You know what I’m saying,” Dax said impatiently.
He did and it was probably the nicest thing Dax had ever said to him, but that didn’t mean he would let him off the hook easily. “That I remind you of a gorilla? I’m telling Sophie what you said.”
“Yeah, right.”
Connor couldn’t help adding, “Dax, when it comes time to talk to your kids about the birds and the bees, try to rely less on animal channels for inspiration.”
“Fuck you,” he said then growled to his wife, “No, that’s not too harsh. You should hear the shit that’s coming out of his mouth. Kenzi, next time you’re dealing with him.”
Kenzi’s laughter rang out in the background. Connor loved how she didn’t take Dax seriously. Without Kenzi, Dax would have been too hard, too cold. She brought out a softer side of him.
“Dax, you know you shouldn’t have told me that you have to be nice to me in front of Sophie. I may just test the boundaries of that.”
“Do it. See what happens.”
Connor laughed again then sobered. “I’m heading upstate to see my father tonight. Thanks for being absolutely no help with Clay.”
“Anytime. Will we see you Sunday? Game night has been moved to early afternoon.”
“I’ll be there.” As he headed out the door of his apartment and made his way to the rooftop helipad, he considered calling Angelina again. The first time they spoke shouldn’t be at the mystery date Clay was arranging for them.
I’ll still see her at work. To badass or not to badass—that is the question.
He checked his messages.
Nothing from Angelina yet.
He slid his phone into the breast pocket of his suit jacket.
A kind silverback gorilla would probably wait for her to answer on her terms.
He jokingly beat his chest with his hands and roared but stopped when the elevator opened and the helicopter pilot was there waiting for him, looking at him like he was acting crazy. I’d explain it to him, but I wouldn’t know where to start.
Chapter Thirteen
“I feel horrible,” Angelina said into the phone she was balancing between her neck and her shoulder as she dropped some broccoli into a steamer. “I was ten minutes late in a car Whitney didn’t recognize when I pulled up. He was sitting on the wall of the school all by himself, looking so sad. I don’t think he really likes this new school. He puts on a brave face for me, but he doesn’t know anyone yet and here I am thinking about myself and a relationship that can you really imagine going somewhere? Oh, God, am I fucking everything up?”
“No, you’re not. Everything is going to be just fine.” Joanna’s tone was soothing, the same one she used when her mini-horse was agitated.
“Whitney asked me if I’d been drinking. I must have reeked of beer even though I only had two. He’s at the prime age to start drinking and I am modeling that behavior.”
“Breathe. The sky isn’t falling. Whitney will be fine. You’re allowed to be human and parent. In fact, I think it’s preferred. You’ve been holding yourself to an unfair standard. What did you say when he asked?”
Angelina groaned. “I lied. Me. For the past thirteen years I’ve been advocating honest and open communication with Whitney. Then he asked me one hard question and what do I do? I panic and lie. You should have seen the look he gave me.”
Joanna chuckled. “You’re too hard on yourself. If your roles were reversed, what would you want him to do?”
“Confess, I guess.”
“Try that. Tell him what you just told me. That is, if you really do believe in open communication.”
“I do and you’re right. This isn’t a big deal. I’m overreacting. Whitney is in his room. I’ll lure him out with dinner and apologize for not being truthful.”
“He’s a good kid, Angelina. He knows you love him. You’re allowed to make mistakes. Just like he is. Now, let’s get back to what you said at the beginning of this call. You went out with Connor after the photo shoot? Tell me everything.”
While Angelina prepared two steaks and popped them into the broiler, she shared everything, right down to how Connor wanted to go noodling with her brothers. “I literally floated out of the pizza place to the car. Just thinking about him makes me all hot and bothered. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. Oh, my God, as I was leaving he asked, ‘Do you want to spend tonight wondering how I feel or should I call and gush about how much fun I had tonight?’ I know he’s an actor, so maybe he’s laying it on thick, but it felt so . . . so . . .”
“Real?”
“Yes. But also like a dream. Ever experience something so good you’re afraid it can’t be true?”
“I try not to second-guess good fortune. All it does is suck the joy out of otherwise good situations.”
“I envy that about you.”
“Don’t envy it, try it. Every time that negative voice starts up in your head, just shut it down. Replace it with a positive mantra like ‘It’ll all work out.’”
“That negative voice fuels my drive. It keeps me focused on what’s important. Without it, I probably wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have.”
“But at what cost? Outside of Whitney and spending time with me and Aly, what do you do that makes you happy? Something just for you.”
“I—I—nothing, really. I’ve always worked too much to have a hobby.”
“Or a relationship.”
“That too.”
“You’ve built a good life for yourself and your son. Maybe don’t turn off that voice in your head, just turn it down a little? Allow yourself to believe in miracles, magic, and happy endings.”