Nate watched as Jess greeted the dog with the delighted, generous affection he had only seen her give Eleanor and Sophie so far.
Why not him?
Oh, for crying out loud. Was he actually jealous of his dog?
Maybe.
He sighed, torn between talking to her again and staying out here in the water where he didn’t run the risk of behaving like an idiot around her again.
He finally decided the benefits of talking to her outweighed the risks, and paddled the short distance toward shallow water where he could stand and walk out with his board.
“I saw someone surfing but didn’t realize it was you until I reached the sand and saw Cinder,” she said, approaching him as he toweled off. “You don’t have to stop on my account.”
He shrugged. “I was done anyway. I didn’t have a lot of time this morning but the wave report was good so I didn’t want to miss it.”
“I wanted to beachcomb a bit, maybe see if I could find some sea glass for Sophie. The ocean is hard to resist in the morning.”
This made him smile. “Agreed. Why do you think I’m here, even though I don’t really have the time for it?”
“Well, I’m sorry to invade your solitude.”
“You didn’t. The beach is certainly big enough for both of us.”
It wasn’t precisely true. When she smiled like that, an aching hunger started in his gut and spread quickly. She crowded into his mental space and he didn’t know what to do about it.
“How are things going at the house? I haven’t seen you for a few days. My mom is pretty closemouthed.”
“We’re making progress, I think. Slow but steady.”
“That’s good. When she asked me to go through my dad’s things a few months ago to take out what I wanted to keep, I struggled to decide. Culling is hard work. I was exhausted after only a few hours.”
She laughed, a pure, lovely sound that slid over his skin like silky warm water.
“That’s why people pay me the big money, so I can help them make those hard decisions. I usually tell people to keep in mind that most of their memories of a loved one are already stored in their heart. They’re not tied to material things. Sometimes the clutter of those material things actually detracts from the memories and the joy.”
Cinder snuggled up close to her and she petted the dog absently, gazing out to sea as the sunrise painted the waves a soft lavender.
His dog was a pretty good judge of character and obviously already adored Jess. So did his mother and Sophie.
He sat beside her on the bench, unable to resist stealing a few moments with a beautiful woman as day stole over the ocean.
“What room are you working on today?”
“The plan is to start in the hall closet and then start sorting through the books in your father’s office.”
“Good luck. Dad was definitely a bibliophile. My dad never met a bookstore he didn’t like and was on a first-name basis with all the librarians in town. That gene skipped me but Sophie is the same way. She loves to read.”
He did read, but usually nonfiction or long-form news articles. He had always wished he shared that passion with his father, that they could talk about literature and poetry and the other things that had interested Jack Whitaker.
“I wish I’d had the chance to know your father. He seems like he was a great guy.”
“He left quite a legacy. Sometimes I think half my customers only accept my bid on a project because of my father’s reputation around here.”
“That must be nice,” she said, with a wistful smile that made him wonder about her own family background.
Violently, she had answered when he had asked how her parents had died. He had so many questions but didn’t think she would answer them.
“We’ll be wrapping things up early today as I offered to stay with my nieces. Silas, Rachel’s youngest, has a doctor appointment with a specialist early in the morning so Rachel and Cody are staying the night so they don’t have to leave as early.”
“Nice of you to step up.”
“I don’t know about that. I should have suggested that Cody’s mom or sister could take the girls. I have no idea what I was thinking.”
Her sudden panic at the idea of caring for her nieces made him smile, but he quickly hid it.
“Relax. They’ll love spending time with their aunt. As long as you remember to feed them and don’t let them play with rusty nails, you’ll be fine.”
“Those are your parenting tips? Don’t let them play with rusty nails and remember to feed them?”
He shrugged. “Those are the basics.”
“Easy for you to say. You’ve made it through thirteen years with Sophie.”
“I panicked at first, too. Neither her mother nor I had the first idea how to raise a kid. The first few months were like being thrown into deep water without any idea how to swim. And then Michelle was deployed when Sophie was barely three months old, leaving me paddling all by myself.”
As soon as the words were out, hanging in the morning air between them, Nate wished he could swallow them back.
He didn’t know why he had. Maybe it was the quiet peace of the morning that invited confidences.
“So young! That must have been so hard on all of you.”
An understatement. If Michelle’s unit hadn’t been deployed or if she had applied to defer, maybe they could have worked out their issues. But she had been a decorated officer, on the fast track to becoming a colonel at the very least and had worried that deferring would sidetrack that advancement.
His goal had been to become a ranger and he had started the process of applying, but he had quickly realized after Sophie came along that they couldn’t both pursue demanding military careers, even with good childcare.
When Michelle had been deployed, Nate realized he had to get out of the military and find something with more flexibility that would allow at least one of them to be the parent their baby needed. He had been making progress toward that goal when Michelle had been killed.
“Rachel told me your wife died overseas.”
He nodded. Thinking about it still hurt but mostly for Sophie’s sake.
“The irony is she was on the relative safety of base when someone she had trained, someone she considered a loyal asset, went rogue. Four soldiers were killed, including Michelle. I like to think she slowed the guy down long enough that others could stop him.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He had grieved for the woman he loved and for the future he had once hoped they could build together. “Thank you. It was twelve years ago. Sophie wasn’t even a year when it happened and we already had moved back here to Cape Sanctuary so my parents could help me with her. She doesn’t have any memories of Michelle, other than what my parents and I have told her. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.”