She had forgotten all about that, coming home from school and finding her mother in tears again. If Roni’s parents hadn’t died, maybe Jess’s mother wouldn’t have been so emotionally needy. Maybe she would have been able to find the strength to leave her abusive husband.
“I don’t remember much about my grandmother. You’re really lucky you’ve had Eleanor all this time.”
“I know.”
Though she knew this was a sore spot, she was also compelled to add, “You’re lucky to have your dad, too. He’s been really worried about you. Maybe it’s time you gave him a break.”
Sophie looked out the window. “It’s not that easy. He lied to me and I don’t think I can ever forgive him.”
Jess jerked her gaze from the road. Sophie had told her Nate lied to her but she had an even harder time believing this now than she had then. He struck her as scrupulously honest.
“Your dad is a good man. I’m sure you simply misunderstood something he said.”
“I didn’t misunderstand,” Sophie said bitterly. “I heard him clear as day.”
She shouldn’t get involved. This was between Nate and Sophie. But if the girl wouldn’t talk to her father about it, maybe Jess could at least get to the core of the issue and point Nate in that direction.
“What did he lie about?” she finally asked.
“My whole life has been a lie,” Sophie said, with the kind of drama only a thirteen-year-old girl could manage.
“Could you be more specific?”
Sophie looked out the window. “My mom. Nothing he told me about her was true.”
Jess tensed, not at all certain she wanted to dive into these particular murky waters with Sophie.
She had opened the door, though, and now Sophie didn’t give her any choice.
“All my life, he’s been telling me how great my mom was and how much she loved me and what a hero she was. None of it was true.”
“You don’t think your mother loved you?” she asked carefully.
“No. How could she have? If she loved me, she would have stayed with me instead of choosing to go with the army to such a dangerous place where she would end up killed.”
“Your mother had an obligation to her unit. She signed up to serve. She couldn’t just walk away.”
“She could have, though. She could have deferred her deployment until I was older if she wanted to. She didn’t want to. She chose to go after she had me. She could have stayed with my dad and me, but she didn’t want to.”
“How do you know that?”
“I heard my dad and grandma talking about it a month ago. They were outside on our patio talking, but my window was open and I heard the whole thing.”
That must have been the trigger for the new tension between Sophie and her father, one overheard conversation.
Jess couldn’t completely blame Sophie. She knew what it felt like to be abandoned. Left behind. First by her mother, then by Rachel. It formed a deep wound that didn’t readily heal.
“He should have told me what really happened instead of letting me believe all these years that she cared about me,” Sophie said, sounding distressed. “Why did he have to lie? I don’t know if I can ever forgive him.”
She shouldn’t get involved in this discussion, she should leave it to Nate and Eleanor. It wasn’t Jess’s business what Sophie thought about her father.
But she couldn’t stay quiet, not when she found it grossly unfair that Sophie was blaming her father for her mother’s choices.
“Let me get this straight. You overheard a conversation about how your mother made the difficult choice to go back to her unit after you were born.”
“She should have stayed. What kind of woman leaves a baby who is only three months old if she doesn’t have to?”
“It’s not that simple, Sophie. Your mother faced an impossible choice. I’m sure she did what she thought best at the time.”
“It wasn’t best,” Sophie muttered. “Not for me.”
“She couldn’t know she would die over there.”
“She knew it was dangerous.”
“I’m sure she missed you every single day she was there. And she would have tried her best to come home to you safe and sound if she could.”
Sophie looked doubtful.
“That’s not really the point, is it? Let’s talk about your father. The one you’re so mad at right now. It seems like you’ve forgotten that he is the one who stepped up to take care of you?”
Sophie frowned. “Only because he had no choice.”
“He had plenty of choices. He could have left you with his mother. He could have put you in the care of someone else. Instead, he was here, day in and day out. He gave up his own military career to come back to Cape Sanctuary and take care of you.”
“And lied to me about my mom the whole time! He always told me she had to go, not that she chose to go.”
Oh, to have the clear-cut, no-exceptions logic of youth, who saw no room for gray.
“Your dad let you believe a story that might not have been completely true about your mother, probably to protect you from feeling exactly like you’re feeling right now. And you’re somehow mad about that?”
Sophie frowned. “He should have told me the truth. They were even talking about getting a divorce! He never told me that. But then my mom died. That’s what he and Gram were talking about.”
“Why did you need to know that? Think about it, Sophie. Why does any of that matter? How does it change the wonderful family you and your dad and your grandma Eleanor and grandpa Jack created?”
Sophie looked uncertain, then jutted out her chin as Jess pulled into the hospital parking lot. “I had the right to know the truth instead of believing a big lie all this time.”
She did remember what it was to be thirteen and so certain the world was as unambiguous as Sophie thought, without the nuances one discovered later in life. That gave her a little sympathy for the girl but she still wasn’t letting her off the hook.
“So your father didn’t tell you everything about your mom. Okay. Be mad about it. Stomp your feet and slam doors if you want. But don’t you forget for a moment that your father is a good man who loves you dearly and wants everything wonderful for you. He left his own military career to bring you back here to Cape Sanctuary with his mother so you could have the kind of nurturing love in your life your own mom wasn’t able to provide at the time. Don’t take your hurt and disappointment out on him. He doesn’t deserve it simply for trying to protect you.”