Nate
Nate watched Jess rush out of the room as if the nurses were chasing after her with giant needles. What was her big hurry? She had looked as if she couldn’t wait to get away. Eleanor looked at the doorway through which Jess had disappeared. “She’s the sweetest girl, isn’t she? I’m so glad I had the good sense to hire her to help me clean out that big house. Isn’t she wonderful?”
“Yes,” Nate said, then looked away, not wanting his mother to see how much meaning that single world held.
She was wonderful. And beautiful. And stubborn.
His feelings were a wild, confusing jumble in his chest. Now was not the time to sort them out, when he needed to focus on his mother’s health.
“I like her a lot,” Sophie said. She gave Nate a meaningful look. “Just in case, you know, anyone felt like my opinion mattered. You have my permission.”
He gawked at her. “Permission for what?”
“To date her. If you wanted to.”
Yeah. This wasn’t the time or place for this discussion. “We’re friends,” he said gruffly. “That’s all. Anyway, she’s leaving town in a few days so there’s no point to this discussion.”
“I think you should. Ask her out, I mean,” Eleanor said. “You have my permission, too. As if you ever needed it.”
How had this conversation spiraled out of his control? Nate shifted, more awkward than he had been in a long time. Before he could respond, the door opened and a new nurse came in.
His mother’s face lit up. “Hi, Brooke. I was wondering if I would see you while I was here.”
The woman was a neighbor who also attended book club with his mother. That was one of the perils and joys of a small town. All of their lives seemed to intersect in multiple ways.
“Lucky me, I get to be your night nurse.”
“Oh wonderful. You can catch me up on all the good gossip around the hospital.”
“Ha. I’m a battle-ax when it comes to my patients. No gossip here, just making sure you take your meds, try to rest and do what the doctors tell you.”
Eleanor made a face. “You’re no fun at all.”
“Hospitals aren’t supposed to be fun. Hasn’t anybody told you that yet?”
His mother laughed. It was weak, thready, but Nate still felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
Only then did he fully acknowledge how worried he had been. For the first time since he listened to that voice mail from Jess, he felt the stirring of optimism.
If his mother could try to manage his love life, she must be feeling better.
* * *
They stayed until the nurses brought Eleanor dinner, then he and Sophie ate a quick meal in the cafeteria before heading home to take care of Cinder and Charlie.
They were almost to Whitaker House when the topic of Jess Clayton came up again.
“I’m sorry I teased you before. About Jess, I mean,” Sophie said out of the blue. “But I do like her. She’s nice and she’s smart and she’s easy to talk to.”
He agreed with all of those things. Added to that, she was compassionate, caring, generous.
He really had it bad.
He glanced over at Sophie before turning back to focus on the road. “While I appreciate the, er, vote of approval, I’m afraid it’s not going to happen.”
“Why not? Don’t you like her?”
“That’s not really the point.” He was falling in love with her, but he really didn’t want to have that conversation with his daughter right now.
Sophie was quiet for a long time. When she spoke again, her voice was hesitant. “Jess basically told me today that I’ve been acting like a jerk to you. Usually that would make me mad but it didn’t. Especially because she’s right.”
Nate held his breath, wondering if he was finally going to get to the bottom of Sophie’s seismic mood change a month earlier.
“She told me I should apologize to you and tell you why I’ve been so mad.”
“I’m listening.”
He was exhausted from the tumultuous afternoon and evening spent in the hospital but if he and Sophie had any chance of returning to their previous easy, affectionate relationship, he would sit here all night.
“I overheard something I don’t think I was supposed to hear a month ago. Something about my mom.”
Nate tensed. “Something I said?”
“Yes. You and Gram. You were talking about me and how much I had grown up and looked like my mom. And then you talked about when we first came back to Cape Sanctuary, how hard it was knowing my mom would never get the chance to know me and how different my life might have been if she had chosen to defer her deployment. And you told Gram that even if my mom hadn’t died, you probably would have ended up divorced because you didn’t want me to ever know I wasn’t my mom’s first priority.”
She sniffled and Nate closed his eyes, cursing himself for not making sure Sophie hadn’t been within earshot when he and his mother had that indiscreet conversation.
He rarely talked about Michelle. That brief part of his past seemed a lifetime ago. She had given him his most precious gift, Sophie. Other than that, he didn’t think about her much.
He could remember that particular night clearly. It had been the night of what would have been his wedding anniversary and he had been feeling low, a little lonely as he looked back at the path he had chosen to travel as a single father.
“I’m sorry you heard that,” he finally said.
“Yeah. It was a lot easier when I thought she was some kind of war hero like everyone else does.”
Damn it. He had never wanted this. The wounded hurt in his daughter’s voice broke his heart.
“She was, Sophie. She was. Your mom was an amazing woman. She gave her life to protect other people from a terrorist attack. I still call that heroic.”
“All this time, you let me think she was the big love of your life, the reason you hardly ever date anybody else.”
He had never said that to her. Had he?
“I did love your mother,” he protested.
“How could you? You said you were going to divorce her!”
He sighed, wishing they didn’t have to have this conversation right now. He wanted his daughter to always believe in happy endings. It was his fault. If only he had kept his mouth shut, instead of making a few half-forgotten comments to his mother in passing.
“Your mom and I...we weren’t a good match. I know this might be hard to understand but you can love somebody with all your heart and still not be a good fit together.”