Their father finished his cake and sat back. “I don’t know if you’ve given any more thought to where you’ll go from here, career-wise, but there’s always a place for you at the resort.”
“Thanks, but that’s Fitz’s thing, not mine.” Grant couldn’t imagine spending the day taking care of rich people’s problems.
“What is your thing, Grant?” their father asked more sternly.
Aw, fuck. Here we go. His siblings were watching them, tension filling the silence like another family member at the table. Grant took another drink, meeting his father’s serious gaze. He’d scoured the articles Jules had given him, searching for a shred of hope that he might be able to go back to doing what he did best, but the hearing loss he’d suffered was an immovable roadblock. But that didn’t change his desire to do that type of work.
“You know what my thing is, Dad. If I had my way, I’d be back in the field with my team.”
His mother and sisters gasped. His father sat up taller, eyes filling with rage.
“No, Grant. You can’t,” his mother pleaded.
“Mom, they won’t take me. But it’s what I want, and it would be really great to have your support.” Why the hell did he think they’d understand?
“My support? You’re my son. I love you and I have always supported your decisions. But you’ve already done your duty, honey.” His mother covered his hand with hers. “Haven’t you lost enough? Haven’t we all?”
Grant pressed his other hand into his thigh beneath the table, trying to tamp down frustration and the guilt brewing inside him.
“You absolutely cannot go back,” his father seethed.
They hadn’t even heard what he’d said. Grant pushed to his feet, eyes locked on his father. “I don’t even have the option of going back,” he said again. “But if I did, I wouldn’t need your permission, and you bet your ass I’d go.” He carried his plate to the sink, teeth clenched, trying to keep from losing his shit.
His brothers and father followed him to the sink.
“You can’t be serious,” Fitz said angrily.
“Dead serious,” Grant seethed.
“Dude, we just got you back,” Wells said.
“Grant…?” Keira’s voice cracked.
Bellamy sat with her mouth agape, her eyes darting to each of their faces.
“Goddamn it. What the hell do you all want from me?” Grant’s voice escalated, guilt and anger coiling like vipers, and there was no holding back their strikes. “I’m not going to be happy working in a resort or sitting behind a desk. That’s not me. Don’t you get that? I need to be doing something bigger, more meaningful.”
His father stepped between him and the others, the great fucking protector. “We almost lost you once. Given the chance, you wouldn’t dare put this family through that again. You’re not that selfish.”
Years of repressed anger roared out, uncaging the elephant in the room. “Fighting for my country is selfish? That’s rich, coming from a guy who committed the most selfish act of all and tore our family apart.” He closed the distance between them, speaking through clenched teeth. “Why do you think I wanted to go fight in the first place?”
“Grant, please,” his mother pleaded, her shaky voice cutting through the torturous web in which he was caught.
Grant’s eyes found her tear-streaked face. Behind her, Keira stood with her arm around Bellamy. Guilt slammed into him, and he took a step back, gritting out, “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“Yes you did,” his father said evenly, anger and sadness moving over his features.
Fitz and Wells stepped around their father, and Fitz nodded once, as if he were supporting Grant.
Or maybe Grant’s head was too screwed up to see that he was supporting their father. All he knew for sure was that the six people he loved most in the world were staring at him as if he were acting like an enemy.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,” Grant said sharply. “I didn’t mean to ruin your birthday.” He turned and walked out before he could do any more damage.
Chapter Ten
“HERE YOU ARE.” Jules handed the customer her bag. “Trista’s café is just a few doors down. Look for the striped awning.” After the customer left, Jules sank down to the stool behind the register, glad she was finally alone. It was midafternoon, and she’d been running on nervous energy all day. She’d lied to Bellamy about why she’d run out the back door yesterday. She’d said she’d forgotten about a doctor’s appointment, and then she’d spent the long, horrible night vacillating between sadness and feeling crazy for being sad, because after her and Grant’s toe-curling kisses, she was even more convinced that they should be together.
Basically, she was losing her mind.
She’d always trusted her instincts, but for the first time in her life she didn’t know if they were spot-on, or if they were broken, like her heart. But even that felt wrong, because when she thought the words broken heart, she immediately told herself it wasn’t broken; it was only bruised because Grant had pushed her away. She didn’t need to have a lot of experience with men to know that the way he’d held her, like he never wanted to let her go, and the way he’d kissed her, deep and desperate, like he’d poured his heart, body, and soul into it, weren’t the actions of someone who didn’t think they belonged together. They were the embrace and the kisses of a man who wanted to be with her just as much as he’d said he did but couldn’t get out of his own way to do it.
If anything, knowing how much he wanted her and how hard he was fighting it had the power to break her heart. But she held out hope, because that’s who she was. The girl with her head in the clouds who hoped with everything she had that the universe might step in and show him a way.
The door to the shop flew open, and Bellamy stomped in. She looked around the empty shop and threw her bag on the counter. “You know I love my family, but right now I kind of hate them.”
“What happened?” Jules went around the counter to be near her. “I thought you were at your father’s birthday lunch.”
“I was, but you know things are always tense between my dad and Grant. My dad asked him about what he wanted to do for work, and God, Jules…” Tears sprang to her eyes. “Grant still wants to go back to Darkbird. He’s miserable here, but we can’t even talk about it. My parents hammered him for just saying he wanted to, and the rest of us were no better.” Tears slipped down her cheeks.
“Oh no, Belly. This is my fault. He told me he wanted to go back to the field but didn’t think he could, so I did a bunch of research and found out that he was wrong. I gave him all the information last night. He must have read it and realized it was an option. I’m so sorry. I just wanted him to be happy. I didn’t mean to make things worse for any of you. I have to go find him and make sure he’s okay. I have to fix this mess I’ve made for you.”
“It’s not your fault, Jules. I don’t know what information you found, but he said they won’t take him back. The fight was about more than just Grant going back to combat. He said stuff to my dad about breaking up our family that I think we’ve all felt but none of us would ever dare say, and then he stormed out. I’ve called him three times and he’s not answering. I appreciate you wanting to help, but you can’t fix this for me.”