He’d noticed her ears?
She turned the lantern, finding another fairy standing on the toes of one foot. Her other leg was bent at the knee, toes pointed. She was holding a lantern, and her eyes were wide with surprise, her hand covering her mouth. She had long light-brown hair like Jules, and her turquoise wings matched her short dress. Thinking of the letter she’d written him that morning, Jules was sure this was another sign that they were meant to be together. But what did it mean to him?
She turned the lantern again and lost her breath at a painting on the glass pane of Grant, his eyes closed, hair falling forward, muscular shoulders rounded. Jules was draped over his back, her arms hanging over his shoulders. He held one of her wrists, and their other hands were laced together. She was wearing the pixie outfit she’d worn on Halloween, complete with pretty wings and layers of purple tulle beneath her green dress. Her hair was pinned up in a water fountain. Grant’s expression was solemn, but Jules was smiling, her cheek resting on the back of his head. The emotions she’d been wrestling for days bubbled up inside her. She’d never seen anything so beautiful. She looked up, meeting his apologetic gaze.
“Grant, this is gorgeous, but I thought—”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I was wrong, Jules, about everything. I thought I was protecting you by trying to stay away, but even that wasn’t right. I was trying to protect both of us because I’ve never felt like this before, and it’s…” He shook his head, as if searching for the right word.
“Scary?”
“Yeah. I’m used to being in control of my feelings, but what I feel when I’m with you is bigger than me, and I can’t stop thinking about you. You make me feel things I didn’t know I could feel and want things I’ve never wanted before. I know I fucked up, Jules, and it’s been killing me. If I could take it all back, I would. I didn’t want to send you away, and it’s been torture trying to keep my distance from you. You got under my skin, babe, and I want you there. I like who you are, happy dust and head in the clouds and all, and I like who I am when I’m with you, and who we are together.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “Grant—”
He stepped closer, his stomach brushing the lantern in her arms. Hope and something much deeper hovered in his eyes. “I know you may not want to spend time with me anymore, and I respect that. You can send me away, but please let me get this out first. I read all the articles you gave me. You can’t imagine how much it means to me that you took what I wanted to heart and tried to help me find my way back there. Nobody, not even my family, has done that for me.”
“I just want you to be happy,” she said softly.
“I know you do, Jules. There’s something I haven’t told anyone, and I want you to know. I lost most of the hearing in my left ear when the explosion went off. That’s why I can’t be sent back out on missions.”
Her mind went back to the way he always looked at her when she spoke and to Halloween night in the vines. “That’s why you didn’t hear me following you at the Field of Screams.”
“Yeah. Sometimes it’s hard to tell where sounds are coming from, and being around lots of noise can be overwhelming and exhausting. I guess our brains work hard to decipher sounds.”
“Oh, Grant.” She ached for him, holding in that secret and now being so honest and vulnerable. She knew how hard that must be for him, when he was used to being in charge. She found his vulnerability every bit as appealing as his confidence. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you go to that party. Is that why you stay away from get-togethers?”
“Partially. It’s complicated. But there’s more I need to say, Jules. When I told you that I was a weak link, I was speaking in terms of the team. I didn’t mean I wasn’t strong or capable. I’m a fucking beast.” A slow grin slid into place.
God she loved that cockiness.
“I’m just not the man I once was, who could head up missions and thought he was invincible. As I’m sure you’ve figured out, I’ve had a hard time accepting my physical limitations. But I don’t want to lose you, babe. I’m ready to try to let that shit go. I’ve been so angry about what’s been taken away from me, I couldn’t see past it. It was selfish, and you slowed me down enough to see that, Pix. It scared the hell out of me, because you deserve the world, and I have no idea what my future—or my world—is going to look like. For a guy who’s been a warrior his entire adult life, a guy who made shit happen and always had a plan, coming up empty is a hell of a pill to swallow. But this time apart has made one thing clear. You spend your life making everyone else happy, and I want to be the guy that makes you happy. I want you, babe. I don’t know what my lack of a plan will mean for us in the long run, but if we’re as good together as I think we’ll be, then we can figure out the rest along the way. If you give me a chance, if you give us a chance, I promise to try my damnedest never to hurt you again and to do everything within my power to be the guy you deserve.”
His jaw tightened, and he paused just long enough for every honest word to sink in. The shadows lifted from her heart, and she could barely breathe for the emotions whirling inside her.
His chin dropped to his chest, and he lowered his voice. “The ball is in your court, Pix. If you want me to walk away and never look back, it might kill me, but I’ll do it for you. Just tell me what you want.”
She touched his chest, feeling his heart beating as frantically as hers. “I know you were protecting me, but I hated it. You were there with me, and then you were gone, cold turkey, and I know we were only together a couple of times, but it felt like more.”
“I know, baby. I’m sorry. I hurt us both, and I will never do that again.”
“The time apart showed me what I really want, and what I want hasn’t changed.” She curled her fist into his shirt, holding tight. “I want you, Grant, with or without a plan.”
She tugged him down as she rose onto her toes and crushed her lips to his. He claimed her feverishly, matching the urgency she felt, sending heat whipping through her from her head all the way to her toes. His whiskers tickled and scratched as she dragged him into her apartment. He kicked the door closed, and she put the lantern down. Their eyes connected for a scorching-hot second before their mouths crashed together, hard and demanding, and he hauled her into his arms, holding her so tight, she felt his arousal temptingly hard against her belly. Want and need surged inside her.
She pushed at his jacket, needing more of him. His hands were all over, in her hair, on her back, fumbling with the zipper on her jacket. He tore his mouth away, breathing heavily, his hungry eyes raking down her body as he stripped off her jacket and hat and tossed them on the table by the door, then tore off his own jacket.
“Where were you going in this getup?”
Thinking fast, she said, “For a run.” She hated lying, but she loved that he hadn’t called her on being his secret pixie yet.
He threw his jacket with hers. “In those boots?”
She’d forgotten about her knee-high black leather boots. “It’s a good workout,” she said breathlessly.
A wolfish grin appeared. “I’ll give you a good workout.”