Jules’s anxiety heightened as she weaved through the mass of people toward Grant. He looked over as she came through the crowd. Her stomach knotted at the conflicting emotions in his eyes. Had he made a decision? Her heart lodged in her throat as she went to him. If he decided to take the job, she didn’t want to know yet. Even with the pep talks she’d been giving herself about supporting him, she couldn’t take hearing it in front of everyone. She knew she’d break down.
He drew her into his arms, holding her so tight she felt the gaping wounds inside her healing over. This—him—was exactly what she needed. Could she just stay in his arms forever and pretend the decision never had to be made?
“I love you, Pix,” he said into her ear. “I’m sorry for ruining your day.”
A lump lodged in her throat, and she fought to keep tears at bay as she looked up at him. “I’m in your arms. My day has been made.” She went up on her toes and kissed him. “Remember, we’re not talking about anything other than Christmas tonight.”
His jaw clenched. “Okay, babe.” He lowered his lips to hers in a tender kiss.
“Ahem. Excuse us, lovebirds,” her mother teased.
She turned in Grant’s arms, but instead of continuing to hold her, he lowered his hands, his eyes moving over the crowd. Who was he looking for? His family? Did he want to tell them his decision? Oh God…
“Honey, are you okay?” her mother asked, jerking her from her thoughts.
No! The love of my life might be going away to who knows where. I have no idea how often he’d come home, and anything could happen to him. She kept those painful thoughts to herself and embraced her mother.
“Sorry, Mom. It’s just been a long, rough day. Hi, Ava. How are you?”
“I’m getting along,” Ava said as she embraced Jules.
Ava de Messiéres was tall and pencil thin with shoulder-length sandy hair and a gap between her two front teeth like Lauren Hutton. She was probably once very beautiful, but years of alcohol abuse had not been kind to her. Her skin was sallow, and she was even thinner than when Jules had seen her at the end of the summer.
“Grant was just telling me that you two are an item,” Ava said. “Aren’t you a lucky girl? My Olivier would be so proud of the man Grant’s become.”
“He’s a pretty good guy. I think I’ll keep him. How are Deirdra and Abby?” Jules asked, trying not to panic at how edgy Grant was acting, putting his hand on her back, then taking it away, then putting it back again.
“They’re wonderful.” A warm expression came over Ava. “Deirdra just got a big promotion, and Abby is busy as a beaver at the restaurant. I’m so proud of them. I wish they lived closer, but like your sisters, they love New York. They’ll be here for Christmas.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing them.” Jules glanced at Grant, and he finally slid an arm around her waist. But she spotted Archer over his shoulder. He was heading her way, his chin low, eyes locked on them, jaw tight. Her nerves caught fire. No, no, no. Please don’t make a scene. Thinking quick, she said, “We should hang our ornament before the ceremony starts. We’ll see you later.”
She dragged Grant through the crowd toward the other side of the massive tree. When they were out of Archer’s sight, she pulled the ornament she’d brought with her out of her pocket and held it up. “What do you think? I had Holly make it for us.”
The ornament was a perfect depiction of Grant holding her from behind. They were wearing Christmas hats with their names on them, and Jules wore a red shirt with OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS written in white above the year. Crash sat at their feet wearing a red bow around his neck with his name on it.
Grant stared at the ornament for a long time. The sea of emotions washing over him made her nerves prickle and burn. His Adam’s apple rose in his throat as he swallowed hard, bringing back that sinking feeling in her stomach.
“It’s great, Pix. I love it.”
She blinked several times, feeling like she was going to cry, and went to hang the ornament on the tree before she lost the battle. Stop it! Buck up, little Bug! You’re the one who didn’t want to talk about his decision. Was she making it worse by putting off the conversation? All she wanted was to enjoy one more night before their worlds changed forever.
She turned and saw Grant talking with Fitz and Wells. Grant was wringing his hands as he spoke, and his brothers were nodding. As she made her way over to him, Mayor Osten’s voice rang out through the speakers. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Silver Island Christmas tree lighting.”
Cheers and applause filled the air.
Grant put his arm around Jules and kissed her temple. She focused on that, twisting the intimate kiss into a sign that she was overreacting to his edginess. His gaze skimmed the crowd, and she found herself worrying again. Why was she analyzing his every move? This was crazy.
As Mayor Osten gave a speech about the beauty of friends and family coming together for the holidays and being part of such a giving community, a silent battle waged on in her head. One minute she was telling herself to stop worrying, and in the next she was freaking out. She needed to suck it up and ask Grant if he’d made a decision, and she’d do her best to support whatever decision he made.
“Ready, baby? Here they go,” Grant said, drawing her from her thoughts as the tree lit up, causing an uproar of cheers, whistles, and applause.
Grant applauded and cheered along with the rest of them, and Jules tried another pep talk, but she couldn’t pull it off. As everyone else sang Christmas carols, Jules stood in the circle of Grant’s arms, making herself miserable. Was this going to be their first and last Christmas tree lighting together for a few years? Forever? When Grant was with Darkbird, he almost never made it home for this event.
She was going to make herself sick if she kept this up. She had to ask him. She tugged on his jacket, bringing his eyes to hers. “I need to know if you made a decision.”
“Grant!” Fitz hollered from the park offices. “We need your help!”
Grant gritted his teeth, his eyes sorrowful. “Babe—”
Tears filled her eyes as Wells plowed through the crowd and grabbed Grant by the arm. “We have an emergency. That thing you put together is going to electrocute someone if you don’t fix it. You need to help us now or there’s going to be about a thousand unhappy kids running around. Sorry, Jules. But I promise to bring him back as fast as I can.”
“Damn it,” Grant gritted out as Wells pulled him toward the building.
Jules hurried after them, calling out, “Did you make a decision?”
“Hurry!” Fitz grabbed Grant’s other arm and said, “This can’t wait.”
“Grant?” she asked frantically.
“Yes, Pix,” Grant shouted to her as they dragged him toward the door. “I made a decision. We’ll talk. I love you!”
The air rushed from her lungs as the door slammed closed behind him. A searing pain drove into her chest, and Archer appeared beside her.
“What the fuck is going on now?” Archer snapped.
Jules couldn’t deal with him right now or she was going to burst into tears. She ran through the crowd, nearly bowling over Leni and Sutton.