“Guess.” If he was hoping for flattery, he is sorely disappointed.
Me: “Vagabond.”
Melanie: “Infant bear.”
Me: “Lord of legs.”
Melanie: “Train wreck.”
Me: “Hot mess.”
Melanie: “Lazy rich boy.”
He laughs and hates us. “Shut up, both of you. You’re so wrong. I was named perfectly.” He reaches out a hand and turns TJ back toward us again.
I leaf through T and read out loud: “Theodore. You’ve got to be kidding me.” I close my eyes. “God’s gift.”
Melanie’s howls echo off the hillside.
“You think I’m God’s gift?” He snuggles himself up a little on my thighs. He makes me feel like I’ve got the best lap there is. “Thank you, Ruthie. You always make me feel good about myself.”
“Back to the matter at hand, making Ruthie feel good about herself,” Melanie tells him in a warning tone. “Open the app, Ms. Midona. Now open the messages. The top three or so are our potential Mr. Ruthies.”
“How many guys have you been messaging as me?” I scroll down a few hundred yards. “Mel, this is crazy. How much time have you spent doing this?”
“I’ve been trawling the ocean for you,” she defends herself. “You should be thanking me. That sexy glasses guy named Christopher has asked if you want to get coffee.” There’s a bear growl from my lap.
“How did I get this many matches? Did you photoshop my head onto a hot bikini?” No, she didn’t. It’s just the picture Teddy took of me at my desk. Flattery is an unexpected cozy fire I’ve stumbled upon, and I’m feeling a glow. “Weird.”
Teddy is sour. “Random guys make you feel more flattered than I ever could.”
I press his frown line away with my fingertips. “That’s because they’re not after my Wi-Fi password.”
Mel remembers something. “Where’s your janky old motorbike? It’s gone from the courtyard.”
“I assume it’s in his bed. Handlebars on the pillows.” Every time I get him to grin, it feels like I’ve won something.
She takes my phone from me and begins typing. “If you have no objections, we’ll go with Brendan. No objections from Ruthie,” she clarifies as Teddy opens his mouth to speak. She stares at the screen, then smiles. “Instant reply. He’s keen. Next Thursday. I’ve got a date too. We can both be in the Thunderdome and I’ll take care of you from afar.”
“Sounds good.” Also sounds scary.
Mel checks the time. “Whoops, sun’s going down. I’ve gotta go. Read over Week 4. Chat to guys on MatchUp. Go flirt with two real guys, I don’t care if they’re nerds at the library. Just get some real practice in on someone who isn’t Teddy. Then we’ll set up a date for this coming Thursday.”
“She can practice on me any old day,” Teddy says, stretching and snuggling again.
She smiles down at him with all her teeth. “Enjoy that lap while it lasts, bucko.”
“I sure will,” he replies in the exact same faux-sweet tone.
Melanie gathers up all her belongings, which takes quite a lot of time, and off she goes. “Bye,” she calls into the powder-pink sunset. “Teddy, you gotta get ready to let her go.”
“Watch where you walk,” Teddy shouts after her, up on one elbow. He’s got a hand caged over TJ. “Ugh, she’s not watching,” he mutters to himself before rolling back down onto my lap with a groan.
Every time he looks up and seeks eye contact with me, I know that complete dazzlification has occurred. I’ve got a date with someone called Brendan next week. Or was it Brandon? The sword guy. How could I think of anyone else when I have this person comfortably weighing me down?
Teddy says, “I was wondering if you’d like to come on a field trip with me and the Parlonis on Sunday.”
I watch his brow crease and his nervous lip lick. “Where are we going?”
“Alistair will be up at the new studio to check the progress of the fit-out. He mentioned it like he doesn’t think I’d want to go. I can kill two birds with one stone. Renata can get a quote from him on how much her true-love piece will be and whether he agrees to do it. She’ll finally stop hassling me about it. Anyway, come with us. They’re both going to fall asleep in the back seat. We can listen to this Heaven Sent podcast I found.”
He knows how to make things tempting. “With what happened last time, the alarm … I don’t think I can.” I see the disappointment in his eyes when he nods and blinks away across the lake without a word. I argue back anyway. “How could I just leave?”
“I’ll tuck in every resident. I’ll put a protective force field over Providence.” He turns his face back up to mine and my heart misses several beats. I start to die when he murmurs, “I’ll check that every single door is locked. I’ll carry you over my shoulder and put you in the passenger seat. It’ll be easy.”
“I still don’t know why you require me.”
“I’m nervous about seeing Alistair and I want to show off to you about which room at the studio is going to be mine. Why do I require you? What a weird question. I always require you.” He’s got that little line between his eyebrows again. “What exactly do you think is going on here?” He gestures vaguely around us and my heart squiggles with nerves. When I turn to look at the beautiful backdrop to this moment, I see something.
A golden bonnet tortoise is making its way over to us. I see some red on it, then relax when it’s not blood. It’s Sharpie. “Hey. Look. It’s Number One. Teddy, it’s my first tortoise.”
He’s smiling up at me from my lap. “You never forget a face? This girl is so cute,” he adds to himself.
I lean sideways and pick up the tortoise. He’s a healthy boy now, big as a paperback, kicking and protesting his midair situation with vigor. I look down at Teddy and try to suppress my smile at his rapt expression. “I’m just going to have a moment here with this tortoise, which might be weird, but who knows when I’ll see him again.”
“Have your moment.”
I say to the gimlet-eyed creature, “Number One, when I first picked you up, I didn’t know a thing. But you made me realize that I can still help without being a vet. You gave me hope. You were the one who changed everything for me and I hope we meet again someday. Let me just …” I put the tortoise back down on the blanket, take a few photos of him, and then rummage through my bag. Using my headphone cord, I measure across the shell and mark it with a hair clip. “I can record his size in his chart.”
When I let it go, Number One stomps off, fuming. “Letting them go is the hardest part. I was so careless. I should have known the marker would stain.” I apply hand sanitizer and wonder if this might be a good segue into convincing Teddy to release TJ. “Now that rare, precious creature is marked forever because of me.”
The combination of words I’ve chosen sound like a magic spell verse under this pink glitter swirl-sky. With the weight of this man’s head on my legs, I feel a swell of melancholy I could never have anticipated. And like always, because we share everything, Teddy feels it.