“You too,” he replies, his tone thick with amusement as I close the door behind me.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I watch his taillights disappear around the corner of our street, then wait for River’s inevitable interrogation.
“Rocky, huh?” he grits out a few seconds later.
“Uh, yeah,” I mutter. “He’s an old…acquaintance.”
“An old acquaintance that you met through an ex-boyfriend by chance?”
It isn’t a question, but I answer him anyway, waving my finger through the air like a white flag. “Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.”
“Which means Ian is going to know where you live.”
“Not if Rocky keeps his mouth shut.”
“And how likely is that, Reese?”
Shrugging, I run my hands along my bare arms. “No idea. Rocky moved out here about six months ago. I don’t know how well they keep in contact, but it doesn’t matter because Ian and I are through. And that isn’t going to change even if he’s stupid enough to show up here.”
I take a step toward the porch, desperate to end the conversation when River grabs my bicep and holds me in place. “If he shows up here, he’s going to get his ass kicked. You know that, right? Whether it’s me, Milo, Sonny, or even Jake, it’ll happen.”
“Jake?” My mouth curves up on one side, showcasing my dimple. “Jake’s a lover, not a fighter.”
“Says the girl he’s in love with,” River counters.
Convinced I heard him wrong, my smile slips off my face, and I cock my head to the side. “What are you talking about?”
“You didn’t know?” River laughs, but it’s laced with something I can’t quite put my finger on.
Jealousy, maybe?
No. I don’t think that’s possible. A guy like River doesn’t get jealous. Not when he can have any girl he wants.
“Jake doesn’t love me,” I argue.
“Bullshit.”
“He doesn’t.”
“Are you really that blind, Floozy?”
As if I’ve been slapped, I jerk away from him. “Excuse me?”
Jaw tight, River rubs his hand across his face, then mutters, “Sorry. You’re not blind. You’re just…infuriating.”
I scoff. “Oh, and that’s more palatable? No offense, Riv, but if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were jealous.”
“I don’t get jealous.”
“I know, which is why I’m so confused right now.”
Tongue in cheek, he scratches his jaw and scans me up and down. And I can feel it. From the top of my head to the tip of my toes. I can feel his gaze in the moonlight. Like a caress. A whisper of a touch. A promise of what’s to come if we walk through the front door and have sex the way we’d initially planned.
But still, he doesn’t say a damn word.
Feeling exposed, I drop my gaze to the ground. “W-why are you looking at me like that?”
“You have no idea, do you?” he rasps.
“About what?”
“About how dangerous you are.”
“Dangerous?” I throw my head back and laugh. “Hardly.”
“You are dangerous,” he reiterates, stepping closer until the toe of his shoe brushes against mine on the driveway that’s still warm from today’s sunshine. “For a guy like Jake.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, then forces me to look at him. “For a guy like me.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” I deflect.
“I’m being honest, though I doubt it’ll get me anywhere. You’re as stubborn as your brother. You know that, right?”
“I may have been told that a time or two. Speaking of Milo…we should go inside in case he comes home.” I glance down the dark street and swallow hard. If my brother catches us, I’ll never forgive myself. Hell, if Jake catches us, I’ll never forgive myself.
But I don’t want my––whatever this is––with River to end quite yet, either. I want to finish what we started in the alley. I need to.
River’s hand drags down my bare arm before he tangles our fingers together and tugs me toward the porch. “Come on.”
I follow without argument, though my brain feels like it’s about to explode from so much overthinking. Why should I feel guilty for wanting someone that wants me too? This is so messed up. And I know I could back out, and River wouldn’t hold it against me, but how is that fair?
Aren’t I allowed to want something?
Aren’t I allowed to live? And to be crazy? And to have fun?
Damn you, Milo.
Leading me to the front door, River pulls out his keys and unlocks it before asking, “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and step inside the dark house. “Nothing.”
“Liar. I freaked you out, didn’t I?”
It isn’t a question.
“No. You didn’t freak me out. I just…I wish this wasn’t complicated,” I admit. “You don’t do complicated––”
“We all have our shit, Reese.”
“And?” I press.
“And you’re right. I don’t do complicated.”
Ouch.
Shaking off my hurt, I reply, “Exactly––”
“But I’m willing to do it with you.”
“Because you want to sleep with me,” I finish for him.
“Yeah, I wanna sleep with you, but not if it freaks you out.”
“The repercussions––”
“Are worth it for me,” he answers simply.
My breath hitches as he closes the door quietly behind us before he steps in front of me and runs the tip of his finger across the back of my hand lying limply at my side. His touch is soft. Gentle. Hell, it’s nothing but a ghost of a touch that I would’ve missed if every single nerve in my body hadn’t been on full alert since the photoshoot earlier today.
His chest rumbles, “But if the repercussions aren’t worth it for you…”
I grab the collar of his dark T-shirt and pull him into me as I push aside the regret. The guilt. The unanswered questions that will still be there in the morning. I’ve had enough talking for one day. Enough overthinking. Enough stupid voices inside my head telling me what to do. What to want. What’s enough. What isn’t. Who I am. Who I should be. All of it.
Right now, I just want to feel.
I want to feel wanted.
I want to feel sexy.
I want to feel cared for.
I want to feel alive.
I want to let go and be free.
I want to feel River’s mouth against mine.
I want to feel him moving inside of me.
No. I need it.
Not wasting any more time, River closes the last inch of distance between our lips, and I sigh at the contact.
This. This is exactly what I need.
And I’m done fighting it.
It’s just one night.
26
Reese
The warmth from his kiss spreads like wildfire, burning me from the inside out. I tangle my fingers in his T-shirt, fumbling with the cotton fabric as if my life depends on it. I need to feel his bare skin against mine more than I’ve ever needed anything in my entire life.