Do I even truly care?
After our time in the library, she’s mine all the same. Will the memories make her more in tune with me or will she realize she’s better than all of us and never want to see us again?
“I’m sure we can order one if not,” I comment, seeing her look around for people. Mortem has a full staff all the time. Maids, servicemen, guards, cooks, and more. “Have you spoken with Noah?”
“With what phone?”
Fuck. She’s right.
“Here,” I hand her my burner. “She’s listed under Tink.”
“Do I want to know?”
I shake my head. “Probably not.”
She narrows her eyes and I can’t tell if it’s a jealousy thing or a don’t be a dumb dick thing. Either way it’s amusing. She doesn’t call her right away and I wonder why. Not willing to stay and cause attention, I sneak off.
Walking away, I head toward Colt’s room where we’d left the guys for the day, my nerves getting the better of me. Do they want me dead, knowing I’ve touched what they’d dubbed as theirs? Because if they knew what we did in the library and then once more when she woke up… they’d be pissed.
It’s seriously fucked up that all the sexual experiences in my life are with Colt. Fuck, all my kisses were hers too until that bitch forced herself on me, ruining everything but also fixing my secrecy problem.
She pushes herself on me, her lips smacking my face. Unfurling disgust wafts over me, it takes everything in me to not throw her onto the ground and end her life for what she’s done. She stole something which doesn’t belong to her. She tainted a personal promise to a girl I’ve admired for years.
She ruined it.
My fingers encircle her dainty throat, pulling it away from my face. She seems to think it’s more of a suggestive move and not a barely abated murder attempt. A gasp escapes her as my need to destroy her entire being is simply at my fingertips. I want to strangle the life out of her for touching me, for even thinking she’d be comparable to Colt in any shape or form.
“Too soon,” I rasp, hatred making my voice sound too deep, almost guttural, and still she doesn’t get the message of it being deadly rather than turned on.
What I really wanted to say was, “I’m not yours to fucking touch.” What I really wanted to do was shove my knife up through her chin, taking her very voice away with her life.
Not realizing I’d have such a distasteful reaction, it takes too much in me to rein the need to take her breath forever. My fingers flex on her esophagus and I let go quickly before I smash her voice box and destroy what little leverage I have.
Plans have changed.
Colt has always been mine, rightfully so, but now, I’ve got an entire army to fight for her affections and I’m not mentally prepared for that.
Instead of dwelling, I do something I told Mortem I wouldn’t do until the time was right, I leave to meet with the one person who has always told me how it is, not sparing my feelings for anything.
It only takes me ten minutes to leave the house, not going to Colt’s room, after all. After looping around the place, I trail back to the tiny cottage out back, the one that houses my biggest secret.
What will he say?
Will he be mad?
How is he coping?’
Is he okay?
It’s been months since we last spoke. He had specific instructions I’ve denied and I didn’t even do as he wished, bringing the person he cares most about here.
Well, second most cared about person.
Love has no true bounds, right?
Is what I feel love, or is it a figment of my imagination?
Knocking the secret knock, I hear several latches coming undone, hoping for fuck he doesn’t hate me for breaking the rules.
I’ve missed his guidance. He’s the only reason I sacrificed my place by Colt’s side—he told me to. He explicitly yelled at me that in the end, befriending Mel would be worth it. Lying about fucking her was also his idea. He said the Vestige would be invested, ready to sell me to her for marriage. Too bad he was wrong and so was I.
That was never my place, it was Jordan’s.
I learned that too late and wasted all my energy.
By the time the door has opened, my heart has practically stopped beating.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Clemonte?”
Chapter Fifteen
Past
Bridger
“What do you mean we’re planning an attack?” I ask Cassidy, my face feeling all sorts of heated. I’m nervous, which doesn’t happen often, but I know if anything happens to Cass, if anything happens to me, Colt isn’t safe.
I’ll protect her over my best interests.
I’ll save her if anyone dares to hurt her.
I’ll kill anyone who isn’t friendly.
“I’ve heard there’s a council meeting at the Edgington Estate after spring break,” he explains, his eyes bloodshot. I figured him going to Vegas and meeting the dude he fell for would be enough to keep him sane. I’d known about Parris for ages, it helps that I can hack anything and go unnoticed, but also, Parris seemed to change him for the better.
He smiles more—laughs, even—and it seems like tearing the Vestige apart is becoming less of a priority. And I accepted that, because I knew he found love and that meant keeping Colt safe.
If he died, she’d be target number one.
If he got caught with Parris, refer to the former.
Tearing apart the Vestige could wait until I got Colt out of the country. Not that it’d matter if they found us, but it’d be safer.
He’s hell-bent on ruining the organization, and I don’t blame him. He’s gay, and while I’m the only one aware, he has a baby on the way. There’s no mentally preparing for being a dad at the age of eighteen, or even realizing it’s not enough to abate the families.
Cassidy isn’t just a Hudson, he’s a Grim.
When he found out, he understood his place.
Or so I thought.
He has a pregnant girl due in several months and the man he’s in love with isn’t even aware. I’m not even sure how he fucked her, knowing he hated vaginas. Did he think of Parris?
I shake my head, realizing it’s none of my business and Colt is the matter at hand.
“What’s the plan?” I ask. His messy hair whips as he directs his attention to me. God, I wish I could save him. His eyes are red from lack of sleep and his skin is pale and lackluster.