“Bomb,” he mentions, and I shake my head.
“Absolutely not,” I hiss.
Lux jumps in my defense. “He’s right, there are babies there.”
Cass paces frantically. “We need to cut off the snake’s head.” It comes out conspiratorially, cryptic, almost maddened. He’s losing it. “Even if it ends the bloodlines of many.”
“Kids, Cass. You’re not fucking heartless,” Ten explains. “Kids,” he repeats the word like it’ll stick to Cassidy’s mind, but somehow, I think he’s lost it.
Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, or how he worries for Colt’s future, or maybe it’s something simpler. Like how he found love and now it’s at the cusp of being lost entirely. Either way, he’s unhinged, almost frayed, and it has me worried for everything.
“How about we sleep and discuss more tomorrow?” Ross offers, and I realize we’re supposed to have the big party tomorrow night. Fuck, how are we going to keep Colt busy while we watch Jordan and make sure he’s not Daddy’s little elf?
“Sleep, yeah. I have to go see Colt anyway,” Cass explains. “She wanted to discuss summer plans, see if I’ll travel with her to Italy.”
“Italy?” Lux asks. “Why the fuck all the way over there?”
Cass smiles. “She wants to eat a ‘real’ cannoli.”
That has Ross belting out in laughter. “That’s my girl.” With those three words, everyone’s at a standstill, envy simmering in the air as we glare at one another.
We all want the same girl and collectively decided to see where it goes. She spends time with all of us, but none of us have slept with her. Not penetration-wise, anyway…
“Okay, see you all tomorrow night,” Cass says, and bows out. I kind of wish he didn’t plan on visiting Colt. I’d do anything to lay with her beneath the stars and kiss her until she’s breathless. Sharing her is hard, but it’s given us a camaraderie of sorts. Keeping her safe, sharing her moans, and being there for her.
Later that night, my phone chirps with several texts messages.
I missed you under the stars tonight.
Wish you were here.
The third was a picture of Colt at our rock, laying on a blanket, a joint in between her fingers. She’s smiling at the camera, her eyes blown. It’s dark, but tonight’s a full moon and it’s reflecting off her already light skin. I hurry and text her back.
Please don’t tell me you’re outside at one in the morning alone.
Bubbles pop up and disappear. Okay, I won’t tell you.
Goddammit, Colt. It’s not safe out there. It’s not especially safe if there are animals, or worse, men who somehow wander onto the grounds.
Guess it would be nice for my boyfriend to lay with me…
Boyfriend? It was meant to be a tease but seeing as she doesn’t respond, I know she feels like I’m mad about the label. I’m not, I’d take all the labels if she chooses me.
But we all know she won’t.
Stay put, I’ll be there in ten.
It takes about six minutes at a jogging pace before I make it to her. Meandering through trees isn’t easy, but I know this forest really well, it works in my favor.
I see the rock before I see her, it’s a boulder really, a place where we can hide and make out or do more when she’s ready.
When I finally make it to her, she’s letting out a big puff of smoke. “Going to join me, or just stand there like the sociopath we both know you are?”
She doesn’t have to tell me twice. Lying next to her, I force her hand to be my anchor, using her as my own. Slowly, I bring her fingers to my mouth, and suck in the end of the bud, inhaling the peace.
That’s one thing we share that the others don’t. Except maybe Ross. I’m not one to drink or do drugs. Indulging in weed whenever I’m with Colt, though, that’s something I haven’t been able to give up.
“I missed you today,” she muses aloud while I take another hit. Holding it in, I allow her words to soak in before letting it out.
She turns to me, her face full of wonder. “I missed you too,” I finally admit, not wanting to. She’s my starless sky. The depths of my soul, if there’s anything left of it.
Unlike usual, she’s not cuddling me and I realize it’s because something is on her mind. When she’s silent, it’s a result of a shitty occurrence. I turn to her so we’re facing, and grip her jaw. Moving it from side to side, I examine her.
She’s different from most humans.
For one, she’s not boring.
Two, she reminds me of a time where laughter existed freely.
Three, she’s insanely enthralling and I can’t seem to look away.
“What’s wrong, Starless?”
She heaves a sigh, but this one isn’t exasperation over something small, it’s heavy, weighing her down with every breath.
“Cass and I got into it tonight.”
Ah, Cassidy. What did you say?
“Are you okay?”
She shakes her head, forcing my wrist to move with her. “He told me to stay home tomorrow, that I can’t go to the party.”
The plan is to keep her busy. I sit on the thought for a moment, wondering if we could distract her enough at her place and still keep watch on Jordan.
Is it possible?
“He was jittery,” she continues when I take too long to respond. “Erratic and jumping around sentences. I think he’s exhausted or maybe…” her words trail off as if she’s scared to say it. “What if he’s on drugs?”
I want to hold her to me, tell her he’s okay, that nothing is wrong, that it’ll be all right. But nothing is right, nothing is okay, and he’s not either.
He’s not safe.
“I’m worried he’s spiraling, Bridger,” she cries, and the glistening wetness drips onto my fingers.
“I’ll fix it,” I promise, not realizing I don’t know how. But fuck, seeing her this way—hurt, scared, and worried about her brother—I need to fix that, take the pain away, ease her heartache, and kill the problem before it resurfaces.
I’ll protect her.
She sniffles, wiping her face on my shirt. “How? He’s not in his right mind.”
“I’ll figure it out. Just remember to wear that dress you like tomorrow. You look smoking hot in it,” I tease, but in reality, my system is overwhelming me with unease. I kiss her nose, her forehead, and then finally her lips.