But I was the true darkness, dragging down every person I’d meet. Parris being the most important. She brought the kind of ease that made me want to save her.
When I’d figured out what was happening with the Vestige, I knew she’d be the only person who shouldn’t be involved. They shouldn’t have ever had the chance to fuck with her. I remember the first time Mom took Colt away from me, I cried endlessly.
We were only five.
“Why are you taking my sister away?” My voice felt small but Mom always had this detached way of being a parent. Colton is my best friend, she’s my happiness.
“She’s not ready to be a part of this family, Cassidy. She’s supposed to learn to be better.”
“She’s not even bad!” I yell, watching as Mom glares at me. I’ve never raised my voice, but she’s taking my sister away. She’s taking her from here.
“Stop arguing and go to bed,” she demands, grabbing my shoulders and turning me away. “She’ll be back when she’s fixed.”
“I hate you,” I admit, feeling the words deep down. She flattens her mouth and pushes me toward my room.
“You’ll regret saying that, Cassidy Amos.”
I blink away the pain of that moment. We were so young, helpless, and she was a monster. Much like that memory, she’d lost all hope for the future. Erased like the history that mattered. Only a month ago, I’d been in that bunker. She had her green hair, piercings… she had more life in her then, when her blood drained from her arms. Now, no piercings, barely any makeup, black hair and a short haircut.
A true broken shell.
She seems so lost now, seeing her like this makes the guilt from me hiding even worse. Did they do this? Hurt her?
Abandoning her was never the plan. I wasn’t supposed to disappear, but being as I almost died and had to recover, just for Bridger and my dad to force me away… my choices were limited.
There’s so much Colt doesn’t know, and explaining it all in one conversation seems overwhelming to me too.
“When we were really little, you had a therapist.” She raises an eyebrow, her face full of confusion. “You were so young, Colt. Five, maybe.”
“Why did I have one?” she questions—and that’s just it, I didn’t know why.
“Back then, I didn’t understand. From what I can recall, we had a fairly normal childhood. But as soon as you hit that age, Pearl would come over. When you’d leave the office, you’d come out like a robot.”
“You were young, how do you remember?” she asks, her face pensive and unsure.
Guess it’s time to mention we’re not simply siblings…
“I know it’s a lot to take in, all of this…” I trail off, unable to form the words. It should be simple. We’re not just siblings, Colt. We’re triplets. That was a doozy of a conversation when Dad told me. “We’re triplets, Colt.”
Her eyes widen, her head shaking soon after. “No, absolutely not. You’re my big brother,” she tries, her face running through many emotions. Denial. Fear. Anger. Betrayal. “Y-you protected me, always.”
I nod. “I didn’t know either. Not until right before I “died.””
“Wait, you said triplets?” Her voice rises. “It’s Noah, isn’t it?” I watch as realization dawns on her, as sadness takes over. She stands, her body trembling. In this moment where she’s feeling helpless, I wish I could take that away. I wish I had told her before. I wish I would have prepared her last year, warned her, made her ready to take on a world she was never meant to thrive in.
“Yes, Noah. She’s our sister,” I confirm, feeling a weight lift. Another props itself on me, not knowing where Noah is, if she’s okay or not. “Does this mean I’m eighteen? Holy shit.”
I laugh at that and nod. “Yup.”
“Recently, I had a dream about her, being our sister… we were in a treehouse,” she explains and I interrupt.
“She’d ran that day. We spent the majority of our summers at the Estate. It was the only time I could be with you and Noah. Though, they tried messing with her head too, erasing you and I.”
“But she somehow fought it?” Colt whispers. “She’s lived without us for this fucking long?” The grief painted between her eyes has me feeling worse.
“She’s a fighter,” I try reassuring, knowing it’s a feeble attempt at best.
She spins back to me, shaking from head to toe in anger. “She shouldn’t have to be a fighter, Cass! She should be able to live, love, be at peace, and not fight for her life. People always congratulate survivors, strong people, and children who lose their childhood. Why is that something to congratulate? We should be able to be kids, enjoy the little things, not to worry about some goddamn society and rules and if we’re going to survive to graduate.”
Her tears come streaming and I’m right behind her. She’s right. We weren’t born to survive a monstrosity of a family. No one asked us if we wanted to rule an empire. There wasn’t a rule book, answers, or guidance.
In the world we’ve been forced in, we didn’t get to live.
It’s not fair.
It’s not our fault.
It’s not okay.
“Come here,” I softly command, watching as the pain surfaces more. How can someone so gentle feel so much? How did I allow the distance? How is she so fucking strong?
We stand there, crying. We hold each other, letting out our sorrow. We unite, siblings who have been stolen from over and over again.
That stops now.
It stops today.
Once we’ve both settled, we sit on the couch together, allowing the silence to be the words unsaid but needed.
“What is the plan, Cass? How do we survive this—how do we win?” I place my chin atop her head, wanting to say everything but not knowing how to explain it all without word vomiting for hours.
“We win, Col. We take the fight to them. We dismantle them from the core.”
“But how?”
Col, ever the questioner of every situation. “By doing what they never expected, following the rules while garnering allies.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” she questions, the sound of a smile on her lips.
“If you are asking if I mean to go back to Arcadia, married, and willing to be a part of a society demanding your head. Then yes.”
She shakes her head, forcing me to lift off of her. “What about you?”