“Yes, they insinuated they were involved in Cassidy’s murder. Pru also called Just out, saying he was too far up their dad’s ass and it was going to cause problems.”
With those words tacked on, we sit in silence for a moment.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Colt
By the time we’re back at the mansion, Ross is cuddled into my shoulder. It’s adorable. When we arrive, I kiss him on the cheek quickly, needing to touch him somehow and not knowing where we stand.
“We there yet?” he yawns, stretching next to me, hitting my boob in the process. I chuckle, pulling him toward the door.
“Yeah, actually, we just got here.”
His eyes open immediately, blinking rapidly and focusing on the house. Cass said he’d be in his cabin, just in case he decides this was too much for him.
Before we’d gotten the phone call wanting a meetup, we’d had a short conversation with everyone else.
The thing that Ross didn’t seem to know is that Just reached out to us. We didn’t try again, still angry about how he was acting.
My head’s a mess where the twins are involved.
I keep thinking about Tennessee, how amazing our time together was. Even when I got back to Arcadia, our time spent together before the Estate… it was like I had finally found two people willing to protect me and love me without strings.
Yet, there are always strings.
Why am I always fooled?
Hearts are the damnedest things. Capricious, without a care, falling for kindness, breaking for lies, and destroyed by reality.
We all get out of the cars—but Mortem’s vehicle, no one has left. I walk over there and he opens the window.
“Just need a moment, meet me inside?” He smiles kindly, but what I’ve learned in this life is that kindness is an illusion.
“What’s going on?”
His lips curve in a knowing way. We haven’t spent a ton of time together, but much like most men in my life, he’s not good at hiding things.
“Nothing for you to worry about, Colt,” he presses, trying to cover his discomfort.
“Dad,” I say, knowing it’ll make him think twice. Which is does by the way his facade drops, softening his features. “We agreed on honesty.”
He shakes his head, his eyebrows pinching. “You chose honesty. I’ll always pick protecting what’s mine,” he states matter-of-factly.
“Then protect me if I need it, not a moment sooner.”
His face saddens, the wrinkles in his forehead prominent now. “I’m sorry, baby girl. Go inside, someone’s waiting for you.”
My heart rate picks up happily. How could I forget? Cass is in there. Smiling, I give a nod, knowing he wouldn’t do anything too crazy with Jordan in the car.
I turn, heading inside. As soon as I enter, my heart feels lighter. There’s something about this place that just makes sense. It’s familiar, cozy, a happy place.
A sense of déjà vu hits me, almost making me stumble.
“Daddy!” Noah calls out to our dad. She lets go of my hand to run after him, jumping into his arms. I smile, then giggle, turning to Cass. He’s so happy too.
Soon, we both race after him and he chuckles, the warm timbre of his voice feeling safe. His arms wrap around us all as he asks us how our day was.
“It was good,” Cass says, then jumps back. “I was practicing with my bike. Jay made sure I didn’t fall!”
“Me and Noah played with Olivia, she made our hair and nails pretty,” I say. Daddy looks at me with so much love.
“That she did, baby girl.”
“Can we eat ice cream?” Noah asks, her face mischievous. Her and Cass are milk sick, or whatever Daddy calls it. They can’t have it without getting upset tummies.
He taps her on the nose, shaking his head. “You little sneak, trying to cute your way into eating something you can’t have?”
Noah pouts, her nose scrunching. “Please?”
“You’re lactose intolerant, baby,” he explains. She folds her arms while I giggle, knowing she has a penchant for convincing him to give in.
“Col, tell him,” she tries and I smile.
“Just a little?” I barter, and he scrunches his nose, letting Noah down just to tickle me.
“You’re such a troublemaker.”
“Am not!” I pout, running when his tickle monster voice comes out.
“Oh, yes, you are!”
Shaking from the memory, I begin to sob. My body shakes from head to toe, the pain and recognition present and painful.
Are these my memories? Why are they here? Did he lie… did he know us all along? My mind travels to what I’ve just remembered and it doesn’t seem like Mortem was confused about us.
I don’t allow myself to completely fall apart, heading toward my room, needing to clean my face. Cass can’t see me upset like this. How do I tell him? How do I explain? How do I ask?
My stomach eats at itself as I make it to my room. Inside, it’s empty like I left it earlier. My feet navigate me while tears continue to fall.
It felt so real, visceral, so much so that my body tingles, a thousand little needles prickling at my sanity. Is anything real?
When I make it to the bathroom sink, my thoughts travel to what I know.
I’m Colt, Cass and Noah are my siblings.
My mom isn’t nice.
Moms is confused.
My brother isn’t dead.
Those are the things I can verify, everything else is based off of other people’s knowledge and experience. I shake my head, not liking the way my mind is traveling. I can’t question everything from a possible memory, right?
Pain curls inside my stomach, it’s a wave, hitting my head. The pounding starts super quickly, my body feeling on edge.
How does this happen?
My mind feels like it’s splitting while my body feels like it’s rejecting the action. Falling to the carpet in front of the toilet, the need to hurl overwhelms me.
Opening the lid, the need pushes up my throat. Leaning over, I shake, my body trying to dispel its anxiety.
After three full body almost-vomits, I finally puke. Sweat lines my forehead as I shake even more.
What’s happening to me?
I sit here, waiting for another wave to come. When it doesn’t, I stand, going to the sink. Immediately, I rinse out the acrid flavor and then brush my teeth.