Without saying a word, without breaking eye contact, she reached for her braid and pulled off the tie, letting it fall to the ground.
“Better.” As he’d always done, he combed his fingers from her scalp down through her braided hair, loosening the silky blonde strands until they hung around her shoulders in soft waves.
He let all that glorious hair sift through his fingers. Taking her hair down was almost more erotic to him than taking off her clothes. But he decided to do that, too, even though they usually undressed themselves.
As he revealed more and more of her fair skin, he paused to touch, to stroke, to kiss. In the beginning, they’d taken this kind of time undressing each other, but then it had seemed silly when they could get out of their things so much faster by themselves.
Maybe it wasn’t so silly. Her soft sighs of pleasure as he released her from the restrictions of her clothes stirred him in a way that flinging garments everywhere didn’t. When he finished, and she stood naked before him, her hair flowing over and around the pert tilt of her breasts, he took a moment to look… just look.
“My turn.” She reached for the top snap of his shirt.
As she moved slowly through the same process, placing kisses on his chest, he closed his eyes and concentrated on her gentle movements. When had the world become such a busy place that he’d abandoned this simple ritual and opted for efficiency?
He loved every second of this, and yet… he couldn’t shake the feeling that she was memorizing him as she went. A woman wouldn’t do that unless… no, he wouldn’t invite trouble. If something was wrong, making love would fix it. It always had in the past.
But for the first time since he’d known Josie, he wasn’t sure making love was the answer. Nevertheless, it was the only answer he had.
Chapter Thirteen
Josie had always told herself that Jack made love with his whole being, and that proved he was committed to her. But after his answer to Alex’s question last night, she wasn’t sure that devoting himself completely to lovemaking was as significant as she’d thought. Maybe he’d done that with all his girlfriends. Perhaps she was no more special than any of the others had been.
There was one way to find out, but she wouldn’t think about that now, as she lay naked and panting on the blanket while Jack kissed every square inch of her body. She wouldn’t think at all, because Jack was by far the best lover she’d ever had the pleasure of sharing a blanket with. Not that her list of partners was very long, but she had a hunch that Jack would head the list for the rest of her life.
He also had the most impressive package of any man she’d known. She hadn’t paid proper attention to that package in the past two days. As he rose to his hands and knees and reached for a condom at the edge of the blanket, she flattened her palm against his chest. “Not yet.”
His muscles flexed under the pressure of her hand, and his voice was low and seductive. “But I want you.”
“Soon.” She pushed against his chest, urging him to rise to his knees as she scooted into a sitting position in front of him. “First, I want this.” She wrapped her fingers around his rigid cock.
His sharp intake of breath told her he might not mind the delay all that much. His groan when she cupped his balls told her that he might actually be happy about the delay. When she used her tongue to lick the single drop of moisture from the head of his penis and he tunneled his fingers through her hair to clutch the back of her head, she knew that he was in total agreement with the delay.
As she made slow, sweet love to him in this intimate way, she realized why she’d craved touching him like this. It was now, when she had complete control of his reactions, that he became the most vulnerable. Raw needs surfaced as his breathing grew ragged. Each moan was more intense than the last. She wondered if this time he would abandon himself completely. In their six months of lovemaking, he never had.
He didn’t today, either. Gripping her head more firmly, he eased away from her. “No more.” His voice was hoarse. “I loved it, but no more.”
He couldn’t let go, not even here, where no one would know but her. And that, she realized, was what had hurt the most when his father died. She’d wanted to hold him and soothe the agony he was enduring. But he hadn’t allowed her to be that close. He hadn’t allowed himself that comfort.
As he put on the condom and guided her back onto the blanket, she looked into his dark eyes. They were hot with passion, as she knew they would be, but he was back in control. She was the one who would be vulnerable now, the one who would lose control.
And she did, helpless to stop her body from responding to his smooth rhythm, his urgent kisses, his deep, thorough penetrations that brought forth cries of ecstasy from her kiss-swollen lips. Beside her, the stream echoed the liquid sound of his cock sliding in and out, driving her closer and closer to oblivion.
She gazed into his eyes, looking for a connection that went deeper than this bodily one they shared. For a moment she imagined that she saw it — a temporary glimpse of vulnerability and need. But then it was gone, replaced by fierce determination to give her the perfect orgasm.
That single-minded focus soon had her arching off the blanket. He made her come, and then he made her come a second time before he finally gave in to his own climax.
As he shuddered in her arms, she held him tight and wished… but no, there was no point in wishing that Jack would be different. Instead she wished for the strength to do what she must.
Jack had given it everything he had, but he could tell as he and Josie dressed that all his efforts hadn’t fixed whatever was bothering her. He could always try again, but they were a little short on time for that, and besides, he didn’t have much confidence a second go-round would make any difference.
Yesterday she’d been glowing as a result of having sex with him, but today she seemed… sad. That was the only word for it, and it sure as hell wasn’t the reaction he was looking for.
But he wasn’t the kind of guy who relished asking a woman what was wrong. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, anyway. So instead, once they were dressed, he offered her brownies.
“Thanks.” She took one out of the bag and stood beside the stream while she ate it. “These are good. Did Sarah make them?”
“I think so.” Jack polished off one of the brownies, and Josie was right. They were delicious. Too bad he wasn’t in the mood to enjoy them. “Mary Lou does most of the cooking because we feed such a crowd, but every once in awhile Sarah likes to get in there and bake something that’s just for the family.”
“That’s nice.”
“Yeah, it is. Ready to mount up?”
“No.”
Uh-oh. Here it came. He braced himself.
“I want to talk about why you call her Sarah.”
He relaxed a little. Maybe this wasn’t going to be a Big Discussion, after all. “It’s like I said the last time we talked about this. The name Mom means something different to me than it does to other people. My actual mom left, so I don’t have good memories to go along with calling somebody that. Better to use Sarah.”
“Logical.” She crouched down to rinse her fingers in the stream.