Many mourned the uncoupling, as the relationship between the yan-kanat and those humans who knew of her people had become better in the many passings since her grandmother had first arrived in Draku Rin, bringing with her extensive knowledge of the human world and a better understanding of their people—and adding six nestlings to carry on their family legacy.
All of Sarah’s offspring had been very fertile, as had the offspring of the other human drahis that were to follow Sarah’s arrival. This had given the yan-kanat hope that the decline of their species had finally come to an end, and more of them went to Seta Zul’s chapel to request a human drahi when they were granted a seal.
Those of mixed bloodlines were suddenly elevated, and greatly desired. But it was the precedent that Ranaxe’s grandmother herself had set that made it possible for her granddaughter to rise to the level of elder, even as a female—even as a mated drahi. The tradition still held that she was not directly paid for her service to the skilev, so that her mate would not feel shame at his drahi being forced to provide kivan for their family. Still, it was progress that no one in Draku Rin had expected, according to her grandmother.
To this day, she still loved to visit her grandparents and hear her grandmother’s many tales about Gaia. She had hoped one day to be chosen to infiltrate the human world when Elder Hon’ra retired his post. Now, that dream would die.
The only real question left to ponder—the question that caused so much conflict in the yan-kanat—was whether to allow the masses of humans still fighting to survive on Gaia to make their way to Theia before the worlds were uncoupled.
That was an answer they needed to come to soon, because many of those humans were males. If all of the resistance fighters still holding out against their inevitable doom had been female, there would be little debate, as the yan-kanat were eager to welcome more fertile females among them, but human males tended to be territorial, just like yan-kanat males. Fighting over females had already been a problem in those skilevs that had allowed small enclaves of humans to resettle in the past.
The humans would not want to lose their bloodlines entirely, especially since couplings with yan-kanat always favored their species over the human one. There would be males resistant to seeing their females claimed by a yan-kanat instead of remaining in an enclave to bear fully human offspring. There would be many conflicts with the warmongering species, and those conflicts would be brought to this world along with the humans.
Worse, the hubris of the humans could bring about another disaster like the one they had unleashed on their own world.
Yet Ranaxe wanted to save what humans the yan-kanat could save. She’d heard her grandmother spending many cycles passionately appealing to the elders in every skilev to allow those last humans to flee to Theia before their worlds were uncoupled. She’d heard the pleas of the other human drahis, and had even heard from a handful of the human males allowed to live in enclaves as they too cried out for their people to be saved.
Before leaving the skull center, she sent one more prayer to Draku Rin, begging him to give her the right words to say to finally convince the elders on this cycle, when the decision must be made.
As she lifted her head and opened her eyes, she swore she heard the faintest whisper, though it wasn’t Seta Zul’s voice. It was male, and deep, but so quiet she could barely hear it.
Still, she smiled as she turned to leave the skull center, saying one last thank you to the god who had reached out to answer her prayer, from some distance so vast that even the Ajda could barely make himself heard.
She knew the right words to say now. The ones that would convince the elders to do what was right, and save the last of humanity.
Author’s Note
I want to thank all of you who read this book, and I really hope you enjoyed it! If you did, please take a moment to leave a review as it is the best way to spread the word about my books to those who have never heard of me before and aren’t sure if they want to take a chance on my stories. I know that time is the most valuable commodity we have, and I appreciate you spending yours to take a journey to one of my worlds! Your continued support and encouragement truly means the world to me!
At this time last year, I feared that I would never write again. I had hit a severe episode of writer’s block that had nothing to do with a lack of ideas, but rather with a fear of sharing them. Every book I started to write with the intent of eventually publishing it caused me to falter. Sometimes at the beginning, sometimes as far in as halfway through. The fear causing this creative paralysis kept boxing me in, causing me to second-guess myself and even try to change the story I originally envisioned so it would suit a wider audience and avoid upsetting or disappointing anyone. The problem was that I couldn’t write under those conditions. I couldn’t complete a book that was bound by conventions, or expectations, or demands that were set by someone else.
I was ready to throw my hands up in the air and just give up writing altogether, because I felt like I had used up all my energy on putting out my last book by pushing past all my fears and insecurities to uphold my original vision. Each time I had to do that, I wore myself out. There is enormous pressure to conform and self-censor to please the widest possible audience, and fighting against that pressure in order to fulfill your own expectations and create the work that you initially dreamed of creating can be exhausting. I just wasn’t sure I had it in me anymore to do that.
In fact, at the beginning of this year, when I finally sat down at the keyboard for the first time in many months and told myself that I was going to write again, I also told myself that I wasn’t going to publish again. I wanted to write something that was unbound by anyone’s expectations or constraints other than my own, and I wanted to do that without the added stress of worrying how it would eventually be received by an audience.
It turns out that when left to my own devices, allowing myself to be as crazy as I wanted to because I didn’t have to worry about what anyone else thought, I ended up writing exactly the kind of book I normally write, only this time, without all the stress and worry that usually accompanied that experience. Oh sure, I’m working on some experimental stuff that will likely never see the light of day, but “Guardian of the Dark Paths” was the story that grabbed hold of me the hardest and demanded I finish it, and I was the most swept up in its world and characters, so it is the first one to be finished in all this time.
It was only after I finished it and realized that it would fit well into my list of published novels, and that I really did want to share this world and characters with my fans, that I decided to go ahead and publish it. I honestly don’t know how it will do, even though I’m personally quite pleased with how it turned out.
I’m comfortable with writing again, no longer feeling the same pressures boxing me in, because I am willing to allow myself to fail, if need be, to see my true vision for the story come through. Of course, I really hope I don’t, lol, but I won’t let fear stop me anymore. I’ve discovered that the only way through something like that writer’s block I went through is to face your fear and shove it aside to let your creativity through.
I hope sharing this story will help some of you who are also struggling with fear of failure. Know that you can push past it and find a new strength on the other side of the battle!