For a second indecision crossed his face. Then he shook his head.
“I don’t know how I can do more than I’m doing, unless I give it all up.” David heaved a resigned sigh. “And if I’m not willing to make sacrifices, I can’t ask you to, either.”
“Maybe I could cut back a little after we had children?”
David shook his head. “I know that you think—”
“What if I wanted to?” she interrupted.
“My mother promised my dad all sorts of things before I was born,” David said. “But after six weeks of being home with me she told him she was going stir-crazy. She went back to work part-time initially just to ‘get out of the house,’ but within six months she was back working full-time and traveling more than ever.”
“I would never do that,” Christy protested.
“You do so much good in your work,” he said. “It would be hard for anyone to walk away from all that.”
“We could wait to have children.”
“For how long?” David said. “We’re both almost thirty. And what’s going to change? If anything, our lives will only get busier.”
Christy stared at his handsome features and disappointment squeezed her heart. Was she only fooling herself when she dreamed of having it all?
“So you’re saying that the only way you can see yourself happily married is if it’s to a woman who doesn’t work outside the home?”
David slowly nodded.
“I guess that’s it, then,” she said with a heavy sigh.
David reached over and took her hand. Her breath caught in her throat at the depth of pain reflected in his gaze.
“You deserve so much better,” he said. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am about all of this.”
“Why did you marry me, David?” she said.
He glanced at his plate before he lifted his gaze and met hers. “I married you because I’ve always loved you.”
She widened her gaze. “You love me?”
“Since the first moment I saw you,” he said. A hint of red touched his cheeks as if he was embarrassed by the admission. “That’s why I could never bring myself to marry Lauren. I kept waiting to fall in love, but now I understand why that never happened.”
Christy raised a questioning brow.
“Because I’d already given my heart to you.”
Joy bubbled up inside Christy. “That’s wonderful.”
“Wonderful? What’s so wonderful about it?” David raked his fingers through his hair. “It just makes everything more complicated.”
“No, it doesn’t. Don’t you see?” Christy leaned across the table and took his hand. “It makes it simpler.”
David shook his head slowly. “Loving each other doesn’t change anything.”
He was wrong. The fact that he loved her changed everything for Christy. It was a sign that she could have the marriage of her dreams. She just needed to convince David that his fears about marrying a career woman were ill founded.
“You just wait,” she said in a deliberately light, teasing tone. “After a year you’re not going to be able to let me go.”
He smiled. “I guess anything is possible.”
David Warner might think he had all the answers, but Christy knew they’d barely started exploring the questions. She knew he was scared, but in time she could overcome his fears. Finding a solution to their problems wasn’t going to be easy, but no one said the road would be without stones.
Agnes had traveled a rocky road at the beginning of her marriage, but she’d held tight to her faith and her marriage had weathered the storms. Deep in her heart Christy knew that despite his doubts, she and David could make it, too. All she had to do was remember that, with God, anything was possible.
Chapter Eleven
A few minutes earlier the grandfather clock in the hall had chimed eleven and David had kissed Christy on the cheek and gone up to his room. Alone.
On the surface, nothing had changed since their discussion earlier in the evening. They’d finished their meal and she’d helped him clear the table and fill the dishwasher. After that he’d read the paper on his tablet while she reviewed a seminar she’d be giving in Kansas City next month.
The topic of the seminar was, appropriately, “love.”
Though the topic was one of her favorites, it had been hard for her to stay focused. The spicy scent of David’s cologne had wafted about the room and sent her senses into overdrive. She didn’t think he’d ever looked more handsome than he’d looked tonight and every time their gazes met, a shiver traveled up her spine.
He loves me.
She couldn’t keep the words from running through her head. In all these years, he’d never stopped loving her. Surely a love that strong was capable of anything.
That brought her to “The Plan.” It was foolproof. All she had to do was pull out all the stops. She’d take her seminar topic suggestions for strengthening a marriage and put them into action. By the end of the year, he wouldn’t be able to even think of letting her go.
“The Plan” would start tonight. She’d climb those stairs to his bed and she’d show him in no uncertain terms what he meant to her.
David stared at the ceiling. Though every fiber in his body ached for sleep, he was as wide-awake now as when he’d first climbed between the sheets thirty minutes ago.
Every time he closed his eyes, Christy’s face flashed before him. Would he ever love another woman as much as he loved her? It seemed impossible. Unfortunately the very qualities he admired most in her—her determination, her drive and her compassion—were the same attributes that made him know she wouldn’t be happy as a stay-at-home wife and mother.
He forced himself to think of the children he’d have someday. How could he condemn them to the life he’d had growing up—a lonely life with a father who worked long hours and a mother who was never home? But why was it so hard to imagine a child of his without Christy’s blue eyes or bright smile?
Still, he couldn’t compromise. They both deserved to be happy.
But how are you going to be happy without her?
David shoved the thought aside. It was a given that he’d miss her. Even tonight he’d waited to start dinner until right before she’d be home in hopes that she’d eat with him. He was playing with fire, but David couldn’t keep his distance. They had only a year and he wanted to savor every moment.
“David?”
For a second he didn’t move, convinced the soft, sweet voice was all in his imagination. Until he smelled the musky scent of her perfume.
He propped himself up on his elbows and stared. Though the room was dark, the mellow glow from a streetlight shining through the window bathed her slender form in a golden light.
She’d changed from her navy suit into a short, filmy chemise. Her blond hair hung loose to her shoulders. She looked like an angel.
“What are you doing here?” His voice came out in a raspy croak.
She smiled. “I thought we might talk.”
“Talk?” This time the croak sounded more like a squeak. He cleared his throat and tried again. “What about?”