“I will try, Mother,” he assured her, though he still wasn’t certain he could bring himself to do so with Georgiana occupying so many of his thoughts.
He was met with silence for a long moment before his mother decided to change the subject. “I think you might enjoy this tea party. The roses there are always so lovely. I wonder if the dowager duchess is going to be there. It is very likely she will, and her gowns are always in the latest fashion…”
Walter tuned out his mother’s voice as she prattled on and on about ton gossip. Instead, he mentally prepared himself to ask to call on Miss Rutherford.
It shouldn’t be too hard, should it? She will say yes and smile at me, utterly flattered. I will pretend the honor is all mine and will then arrange a time and day to call on her. She is pleasant company and quite pretty. There is no reason why we can’t be content together.
Suddenly the familiarity of the scenery struck him and dragged him out of his thoughts. “Mother, where is this garden party taking place?” he asked her almost accusingly as he leaned closer to the window to get a better look outside.
They had left the main road and were going up a lane to a manor which, if he was correct, was one he had no intention of ever visiting again. Yes, he definitely knew the route, and his mother was not answering his question. “Mother?”
She sighed. “It is at Irvington Manor, and I didn’t tell you because I knew that if I did you wouldn’t have agreed to come with me, much less actually gotten in the carriage. But we are pulling up in the drive this minute, so it is too late to even consider going back.”
“No. I refuse to go to the tea party,” he told her firmly as he sat as far back in his seat as he could. “You may get out of the carriage, and I will return home and send the carriage back for you, but I shall not be attending.”
“Yes, you shall.”
He scowled at his mother, completely unconvinced. “I highly doubt I am even welcome here. I am certain you wouldn’t want my presence to create a scene.”
“Actually, it is quite the opposite. I received the invitation from the Countess of Irvington several days ago. Along with the invitation, Adelaide sent me a personal letter asking us both to attend.”
She paused for a moment to let this information sink in before she continued, “Both Adelaide and I have noticed the way you and Georgianna have been behaving towards each other at social events. We are concerned for you both, and we agreed you need to smooth over whatever it was that happened in the past, so you can both move forward.”
“So, you decided to trick me into coming?” he accused. “You couldn’t have even asked me, or tried to talk to me about it?”
“You would have said no.”
“You’re right. I would have said no!” he exclaimed. “Enjoy the party on your own,” he added as the carriage started to slow to a stop.
Sylvia did not make a single move to get out of the carriage. “If you do not attend with me, it will reflect poorly on your reputation and the reputation of our family. Do you know what has been said about your sudden departure two years ago? Of course, you don’t. You were never one to care about such things. I, on the other hand, have heard far more than I care to from other people while you have been hiding away in France.”
Now she had started, there was a fire in her eyes Walter had never seen before, the sight of which forced him to listen.
“I have done my best to deal with everything while you have been gone, to look over the business side of things despite knowing little about it, to keep up appearances, to keep our family name intact, to…”
He watched in stunned silence as she inhaled shakily and dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. “Walter, I have done all my strength has permitted for the good of our family. What have you done? And by that, I mean besides getting to know a young lady only at my prodding and grumbling the whole time. You made it clear you did not even want to return from France.”
Both were silent for what felt like a very long time. The carriage was at a stop, but neither made a move to get out. Sylvia’s breathing was fast and shaky, while Walter felt himself feeling both stunned and guilty.
His mother had always been strong, had never broken down, and the only times he had ever seen her shed a tear before today was when someone she loved had died. But here she was beside him with her eyes watering because of him.
The words she had spoken were sharp and biting and yet thoroughly deserved. I have been entirely selfish. Though my mind was elsewhere at the time, I knew when I left for France she hated talk of business just as much as despise gossip.
I should have realized there would be gossip about my leaving so suddenly, and she was left to deal with it alone. I suppose there was likely some gossip about Georgiana, as well. Perhaps that is why she seems so angry with me…
Every action of his over the past two years, when looked at anew, seemed entirely selfish and, sometimes, utterly childish. He had convinced himself at the time his uncle needed his help more than his mother, that he was being responsible, but now he saw otherwise.
“I suppose … I see now I have … that I have behaved poorly of late,” he said quietly.
He felt her look at him questioningly, clearly wanting him to continue. He gently took one of her hands and held it in both of his own, “I’m sorry. For … for everything, Mother. I will go with you.”
“And you will try to smooth things over with the young lady?” she asked hopefully. “I am not asking you to become friends with her or anything of that nature, just … try to make it so things are not so awkward when the two of you happen to be attending the same events, please?”
“You’re right, I should probably talk to Georgiana, and I will try to do so today. I feel now I probably owe her an apology, too…” Even if she was engaged and did lead me on, it was partially my fault for not enquiring if she was already betrothed…
“I am glad, Walter,” Sylvia said, her expression indicating a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. “I know I frequently pester you about duty, but you do know I love you and want you to be happy, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course I do, Mother. If you didn’t love me, you would leave me to my own devices, instead of trying to set me right.”
She smiled faintly, dabbed at her eyes one last time, and then prepared to stand. “Well, now the proper thing to do is to get out of this carriage. We have stayed in here for far too long. People might be beginning to worry about us, or gossiping about what we are discussing…”
His lips twitched upward in a slight smile, seeing his mother seemed to be almost back to her normal self. The rather bossy and strict but kindly intentioned, mother he had always known. However, there was nothing wrong with her strict mindset.